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Topic: Attraction
No1sLove Joined Wed 04/16/08 Posts: 10342	Fri 08/08/08 07:11 AM
You love your partner, but no longer find them attractive. How does this effect your relationship, and what can you do about it? Anything? Can you really still be in love with someone you no longer find physically attractive?

ddn122 Joined Mon 11/05/07 Posts: 12855	Fri 08/08/08 07:12 AM
no

FearandLoathing Joined Fri 12/28/07 Posts: 30121	Fri 08/08/08 07:13 AM
I love my dog, and he isn't the most attractive thing...suppose it is different with humans. Meh.

becca777 Joined Tue 08/05/08 Posts: 2161	Fri 08/08/08 07:13 AM
i think it depends on how deep rooted your love for them really goes. physical attraction is a mere fraction of a relationship.

feistybaby Joined Fri 04/25/08 Posts: 2422	Fri 08/08/08 07:14 AM
I can't imagine not feeling desire for my partner if I was in love with them. There had to be some physical attraction at the beginning before I loved thier heart. And it wouldn't matter to me if thier body changed as long as thier heart stayed the same. I am not that shallow.....

ahuhalicious Joined Fri 03/07/08 Posts: 995	Fri 08/08/08 07:14 AM
You love your partner, but no longer find them attractive. How does this effect your relationship, and what can you do about it? Anything? Can you really still be in love with someone you no longer find physically attractive? true love comes from the inside its still the same person even though the view is different

Goofball73 Joined Mon 11/05/07 Posts: 33913	Fri 08/08/08 07:18 AM
I can't imagine not feeling desire for my partner if I was in love with them. There had to be some physical attraction at the beginning before I loved thier heart. And it wouldn't matter to me if thier body changed as long as thier heart stayed the same. I am not that shallow..... Glad you can feel that way Feisty, but the sad fact of reality is this...If a person, say gains weight, then the other will more than likely find them not so attractive. I mean, you always hear someone say (be it in a nice way) "He used to be so fit. Then we got married and now he let himself go. I wish he would exercise...ya know, for health reasons". Which is a crock of s*it! Cause what is really being said is that "He's ugly, and I'm not attracted to him". Why do you think sex wanes in the later years of a relationship? One main reason is the attraction is lost. I know this first hand, cause my ex-wife lost all interest in me.

No1sLove Joined Wed 04/16/08 Posts: 10342	Fri 08/08/08 07:18 AM
no No...as in if she were horribly disfigured in an accident, you would not love her anymore? Or, No, you believe you could still find her physically attractive?

buttons Joined Mon 11/06/06 Posts: 25783	Fri 08/08/08 07:18 AM
its when the insides get ugly is when the relationship would end for me

No1sLove Joined Wed 04/16/08 Posts: 10342	Fri 08/08/08 07:22 AM
I can't imagine not feeling desire for my partner if I was in love with them. There had to be some physical attraction at the beginning before I loved thier heart. And it wouldn't matter to me if thier body changed as long as thier heart stayed the same. I am not that shallow..... Glad you can feel that way Feisty, but the sad fact of reality is this...If a person, say gains weight, then the other will more than likely find them not so attractive. I mean, you always hear someone say (be it in a nice way) "He used to be so fit. Then we got married and now he let himself go. I wish he would exercise...ya know, for health reasons". Which is a crock of s*it! Cause what is really being said is that "He's ugly, and I'm not attracted to him". Why do you think sex wanes in the later years of a relationship? One main reason is the attraction is lost. I know this first hand, cause my ex-wife lost all interest in me. That is sad...sorry to hear it hon. I have to disagree that health reasons are always a crock...I am very concerned about my partner staying fit. I buried a fiance, and it is a concern of mine. When I saw my ex letting his body go...that is exactly where my mind went. I didn't wanna bury him too.

feistybaby Joined Fri 04/25/08 Posts: 2422	Fri 08/08/08 07:23 AM
I can't imagine not feeling desire for my partner if I was in love with them. There had to be some physical attraction at the beginning before I loved thier heart. And it wouldn't matter to me if thier body changed as long as thier heart stayed the same. I am not that shallow..... Glad you can feel that way Feisty, but the sad fact of reality is this...If a person, say gains weight, then the other will more than likely find them not so attractive. I mean, you always hear someone say (be it in a nice way) "He used to be so fit. Then we got married and now he let himself go. I wish he would exercise...ya know, for health reasons". Which is a crock of s*it! Cause what is really being said is that "He's ugly, and I'm not attracted to him". Why do you think sex wanes in the later years of a relationship? One main reason is the attraction is lost. I know this first hand, cause my ex-wife lost all interest in me. (((((goof))))) I am so sorry this happened to you. But for me desire doesn't even start with the body. Oh don't get me wrong I like eye candy as much as anyone but that isn't enough to make me desire someone. Desire for me is that person that gets into my head and into my heart and challenges me to think and to feel, and to want to share every part of myself with him. The body is just the tool, the mind is the weilder, and the heart is what powers it all.....

SKPCG Joined Mon 03/03/08 Posts: 14708	Fri 08/08/08 07:24 AM
For me, physical attraction lessens when I no longer find the inner attraction there.

tngxl65 Joined Sat 01/12/08 Posts: 6189	Fri 08/08/08 07:26 AM
If you find yourself not physically attracted, my guess is there's something bigger wrong with the 'connection'. To me, such a great part of the physical attraction comes from the connection that is shared.

ddn122 Joined Mon 11/05/07 Posts: 12855	Fri 08/08/08 07:26 AM
i would find something, in her, about her, on her, that is attractive....physically attractive....to me... i mean if there was no longer an attraction....i wouldn't be "in Love" but love is blind...right? ...so there will be "something" i find attractive...her eyes...hands..that little freckle on her belly...that scar on her knee, that Crinkle on her forehead, that one incredibly large ear, that disfigured toe, that extra skin on her elbow, that asymmetrical smile, that hairy nipple.......etc. etc... no No...as in if she were horribly disfigured in an accident, you would not love her anymore? Or, No, you believe you could still find her physically attractive?

No1sLove Joined Wed 04/16/08 Posts: 10342	Fri 08/08/08 07:26 AM
Personally, I like to believe that if you truly love someone, you would always see them as the person you fell in love with...body changes, scars or even loss of limbs would not change the way you view them.

Jules0565 Joined Fri 06/06/08 Posts: 4485	Fri 08/08/08 07:28 AM
If I loved them, I would stay no matter what.. That's why we have in vows: "For better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health" A relationship has it's ups and downs, good and bad.. you must be strong enough to work through this.

flame1cutie Joined Thu 04/24/08 Posts: 7307	Fri 08/08/08 07:31 AM
I can't imagine not feeling desire for my partner if I was in love with them. There had to be some physical attraction at the beginning before I loved thier heart. And it wouldn't matter to me if thier body changed as long as thier heart stayed the same. I am not that shallow..... Glad you can feel that way Feisty, but the sad fact of reality is this...If a person, say gains weight, then the other will more than likely find them not so attractive. I mean, you always hear someone say (be it in a nice way) "He used to be so fit. Then we got married and now he let himself go. I wish he would exercise...ya know, for health reasons". Which is a crock of s*it! Cause what is really being said is that "He's ugly, and I'm not attracted to him". Why do you think sex wanes in the later years of a relationship? One main reason is the attraction is lost. I know this first hand, cause my ex-wife lost all interest in me. (((((goof))))) I am so sorry this happened to you. But for me desire doesn't even start with the body. Oh don't get me wrong I like eye candy as much as anyone but that isn't enough to make me desire someone. Desire for me is that person that gets into my head and into my heart and challenges me to think and to feel, and to want to share every part of myself with him. The body is just the tool, the mind is the weilder, and the heart is what powers it all.....

No1sLove Joined Wed 04/16/08 Posts: 10342	Fri 08/08/08 07:32 AM
i would find something, in her, about her, on her, that is attractive....physically attractive....to me... i mean if there was no longer an attraction....i wouldn't be "in Love" but love is blind...right? ...so there will be "something" i find attractive...her eyes...hands..that little freckle on her belly...that scar on her knee, that Crinkle on her forehead, that one incredibly large ear, that disfigured toe, that extra skin on her elbow, that asymmetrical smile, that hairy nipple.......etc. etc... no No...as in if she were horribly disfigured in an accident, you would not love her anymore? Or, No, you believe you could still find her physically attractive? That's a lovely answer. And nice to know that it's possible to be attractive to someone even with my crooked smile and disfigured toe and crinkle in my forehead. How did you know? Hope my fella can find them attractive when we finally meet.

AzSunLover Joined Fri 08/01/08 Posts: 9	Fri 08/08/08 07:38 AM
I read this somewhere and thought it fit in with this dicussion We should tell our loved ones. "That we, Love her without fear Trust her without questioning Need her without demanding Want her without restrictions Accept her without change Desire her without inhibitions

tngxl65 Joined Sat 01/12/08 Posts: 6189	Fri 08/08/08 07:41 AM
Well... I wouldn't go severing an arm or a leg just to test the theory..... No1, From what I've heard (read?) I don't think you'll have any worries.