How you know if the next person you meet isn't the cheat?

It is a 50/50 chance.
Or actually 60% chance of meeting a guy that was the cheat.
or 40% chance of meeting a girl that was the cheat.
And they will lie or say a justifible reason for the cheating.. (All cheater do that).
He was horrible to me. We always argue.
We let love slipped away. The kids was our focus.
We weren't communicating.
He didn't make enough money.
She spend too much money.
He made too much money... and was never home.
We didn't have God in our life.
He was a Pastor in the church and he cheated with someone in church.
I want to be a stay at home mom, but he didn't make enough money.
I was a stay at home mom, he was never home.

100% women say they hate cheaters, but 40% of the women cheat.
Everyone thinks they are GOOD people... even Hitler thinks he was doing GOOD for the German People.

Do you think cheating and divorces is the product of our "American Me-ism" (selfishness)?

That would never cross my mind when meeting someone. I'm not so negative as that, plus I do not believe in talking about exes in depth until together for at least a month.

Wow.

I think cheating comes from people that aren't happy with themselves. All of the 'excuses' that you listed come from people not being happy with themselves. I know that being happy with yourself, is a lot harder at times than it seems. But if you are happy with yourself, have good communication in a relationship, and build a strong relationship before marriage than these problems would lead to divorce quite as often.

Wheres the happy fluff thread!
WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

One can only hope

Yeah.. I agree.
If the problems of the first relationship was never solved, the problems usually follows to the 2nd relationship.


The word "Happy". (A touchy word for me.. nothing personal)
To me... Happiness is a state of mind and how you view things.
However, I don't think people should be HAPPY all the time.

In order to be Happy... you would have to be CONTENT with the current situation.
DisContentment causes change in your life.
I am not happy with my weight... so I eat less.
I am not happy with my religion.. so I go across the ocean.
I am not happy with my opportunities.. so I move to another country.

In my Opinion, Happy boils down to me-ism and selfishness, when someone is NOT Happy... they try to correct it by measuring and focusing inward on what makes them and only them feel good.

Yeah.. I agree with you People that aren't Happy are the ones cheating. Because they want to make a change.

But if the cause is UnHappiness and married people are sharing lives together... wouldn't both people be blamed for the failure of the marriage... the non-cheater didn't fullfill the other partner's needs or the other partner expectation is Too High.

I believe cheating comes out of selfishness.

When cheating you put the health/life of your partner at risk for your own fulfillment.

Cheating, rather than doing the difficult thing of talking to your partner about what is bothering you, is taking the "easy-way-out" of dealing with the real issues.

When you cheat, it's all about you, you don't think at all about how this will effect other people in your life, your friends, family, parter, children...the person you are cheating with - especially if you lie to that person saying you are single.

People who actually think of others before themselves, are less likely to cheat.

Agreed .. like who would think that kind of thing straight outta the gate?

Unless of course, you are totally jaded ... no thanks. Prefer to live in my Happy Place

Fade.... I know who.... the guy I met who talked about his ex all night and then "apologized" (sic explained and defended behavior) by saying he did not want to get hurt again.

If you are worried about someone cheating on u then why go out with them in the first place, the relationship has already started off on the wrong foot.

was that the waste-of-time drink at the bar?

Come to the party tonight on my thread, btw .. I just kicked that SOB Michael to the curb yesterday

I will give him no less than the same trust I expect he have in me. That being said...I expect a lot of trust.

Beats the handful chance I have of finding true love.

OMG I wish I could, my monitor at home is not working. I need to take a serious looky look at it tonight or tomorrow, but I have a lot to do tonight.

That is nice, take the moral high ground.

I believe, We all do selfish acts. We are not above sin. Whether your selfish act didn't cause you to cheat but your selfish act caused your partner to cheat, we all have responsibility to the relationship if the partners are truly one flesh. "In it together".

I have seen the type of cheater you described. He can preach to me like the best of them about God and how he is a good upstanding citizen.

For everyone of those dirtbags, I know of 4 others that cheated but are really good people who just made "ONE" bad choice after another. Oh NO... these people are not super selfish people. They are people just like you and me.



It is ok if I don't make my point... I just like writing it out for me. I appreciate you guys for reading it. Forgiving is tough.

I am not trying to be negative.
It is a trust issue for me, still.
I am sorting things out in my head, because the Heart can betray you.

Obliviously, you have finished the stage I am in and you have moved on to the next stage. I am still haunted by my memories. I just cannot forget. One of my neighbors who had gone thru a similiar situation, Told me not to reason it out. It will drive you insane. He is right, but I want to know.


Anyway, back to subject.
Whereas, someone totally new and unknown gets a free pass on Trust vs someone who has been with you for 15 years don't... and they might have the same track record.