There must be trust, access/time, honesty, and regular planned face to face time.

Without all of those, well, it won't work.

THEY DONT WORK.

Honestly? The most important thing over all seems to be the ability to not keep things at such a distance for too long. Long distance relationships fail because one or the other becomes tired of waiting. If you think the relationship is worth it, one of you eventually is going to have to take the chance and relocate to where the other lives. The key seems to be knowing when that move is right. You don't want to rush the relationship, but you don't want to let the distance slowly kill it, either.

Also, daily or almost daily Webcam chat and phone calls make the relationship seem more "real" and viable.

For example, I dated a soldier for well over a year and we emailed every morning and called or did the cam thing EVERY night that it was possible. It wasn't my idea, it was his, but it sure made for a nice relationship while it lasted, even though we only had about 4 weeks of face to face time during that year and a half. Distance was honestly not the reason that relationship fell apart. It was a fairly "normal" and healthy relationship that just didn't work for other reasons that would have arose in the same way if he had lived nearby.

I wish you luck and hope that I have answered your question, at least somewhat. Hang in there. :-)

Fiesty~ Very good point!

I was in an LDR recently and he said, after his first visit, that we'd see each other once a month or every other month. We never saw each other again. He worked only enough to keep his rent paid and often donated plasma to buy cigarettes. He said he was going to move here to be with me and I found out not only could he not move as he had no valid driver's license, he had a warrant for his arrest for failing to pay court costs and fines for a DUI I didn't even know he had! In fact, he said he was in recovery for over ten years. He said he was looking for jobs here, but the day I broke it off I found out he was doing no such thing.

I broke up with him before I knew any of this.... all I knew is that his talk did not match his walk. He talked like a Baptist minister (reference meaning they are passionate and inspirational) but walked like a three legged rat.

God bless his ex, who contacted me after we broke up and told me all this. Be very, very, very wary of what seems too good to be true. 99% of the time it probably is.

I would wonder what the ex's motives were to contact you and feel she needed to tell you all of this? Sounds to me like she still had an interest in him and/or they had only broken up for a short time.. I've personally never contacted any of my ex's gf's..the way I see it, they'll figure out for themselves.. If not then they were meant to be. lol