his wife died about the same time my wife died '82 his '83. (I went to counselling--he did not.)

she died in 82-83 but this child is 8?

????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

I feel for that little girl, he needs to go to counseling, as does the little girl.

Wait, his wife died in 83' and his daughter is 8???

If he had a child from his wife that died in 83, the child could be no less than 26...

sorry, i forgot to let you-all know this is his second marriage- --child.(Oh, my brother always listens to me, but does not follow through.)

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh now THAT makes a lot of difference! So mom is LIVING!

So where is this child's Mom? Are she and your brother still married/together?

Than all bets are off! He obviously needs a swift kick to the head and to step up to the plate before another 10 years goes by and his daughter says....I am pregnant or WORSE!

no, they are seperated.(a bad split) And now a bad divorce.

I'll be right there

62, she's got two parents...both living, I'd say apart from being the normal active uncle,......Tazz is right. They better step up to the plate before that child is suddenly mature and looking for love in all the wrong places, ya know.

Good luck

doesn't this sound like Paton Place.**The two parents will not step up to raise an 8 year old girl. But, the Uncle will try everything in this world, to raise her right.** Knowing all along the parents are the most important guide for a child.

So the father feels her mother should raise her and the mother doesn't want to? I am even more confused than before. I liked it better when we thought it was the first wife...I can't say I'm liking the second wife much.

No matter what, all efforts should be made to reconcile this child to her parents care. I fully agree with Lily that counseling is a must!

I know you love your niece but you may have to check yourself in this if the extent of your care for her is enabling their separation. The longer this goes on, the harder it will be to reunite them. IMHO

Oh, guess i am old fashioned but, i was raised to step up to the plate always. Yes, I will go pick her up. They just do not want her around.(She is a wonderful niece, well behaved, just a joy.)

I am always the fun one
to let my nieces and nephews tell it

little do they know that if they lived with me, I would have been tougher on them than their Mom

fun goes straight out the window when your a parent
I tell my children I am not your friend, I'm your Mom

I have tried to reunite them all this time. (gentle as i can, always.) I have never pried into their lives to that point )(I am always welcome in both the wifes house and ,my brothers house.)

separation and divorce is always hardest on the children

My best friend took custody of her brother's three daughters when he and his wife split because neither of them were suitable parents, both are self-centered. She made certain that she told the girls that she would be a PARENT to them, not a playdate. The girls all turned out fine and want to be legally adopted by my friend.

If you do think about taking your neice, pease sit down with both of her parents AND her and discuss this in detail. Let her know that being the fun uncle is different from being a parent....When you are the uncle, you get to hand them back to the parent at the end of the weekend.

note: fun to my niece is just having someone around to talk with. it does not always mean games so much to her.--as a parent you have got to talk with your children.-- (GIVE THEM A HUG) (LET THEM KNOW: they are cared for.) my brother, and X do not do that.

I know lots of kids that go through this
if you are able to help her do so