I read in another post about some unwritten law about guys dating their friends ex girlfriends..

What I would like to know is what exactly is this "law" and why is it such a big deal to date your friends ex, especially if they no longer have feelings for the ex?

Yes I would like to know as well. IMO, if the person is a true friend they'd understand, be glad for you and not let it get in the way of the friendship they share, much less force you to choose. Beyond that, love is love, who are we to say who we should or shouldn't date just because of the past?

Actually, I am going to have to agree regardless if man’s law or woman’s law. If you truly value that friendship, you would not put your friend in such a position that would put such a strain that could end that friendship that you so value.

P.S.
There are exceptions to this rule but, they are exceptions not the norm. Otherwise, it becomes a little too much like an soap opera or high school.

To me it has to do with respect for a good friends feelings. No matter how bad of a relationship it ended up being, it started out with hopes of it lasting forever. After its all over, to see your best friend and your ex "lover" enjoying themselves with each other has a way of hurting. Its like getting your toes stepped on.

Or your heart. Over and over again by those that you trusted the most.

That is correct!!!!!

If you all can't tell I had my best friend I grew up with break that rule. We are still friends or more like just acquaintances now and our friendship will never be the same.

I'll add that their relationship didn't last long at all either. HA!!!

I agree.. I would never even consider dating my best friends ex.. not without talking to him first.. but I doubt I would even do that.. Its a respect thing.. you just dont do it..
My former best friend of 27 yrs tried to sleep with my ex while she and I were in bed sleeping.. needless to say.. were no longer friends.

so then if your "friend" went out with your ex you would be ok with that? its called respect,thats all

Don't females have an unspoken rule about this?? I am sure we do!! I know all of my friends do..its just the unspoken rule. You DO NOT date any of your friends ex's!! Its called respect, why would you want to? Just think about it...if you became serious with this person, then your friend would have to be around that! I don't think so!!
To all the women that do date their friend's ex's...your lucky you are not a friend of mine!!

each group of friends has an un-written law. it is this guys do not date their friends ex. simple , right? no. its a pride thing. and us guys have a whole lot of it. we puff out our chest to show who is the big "****" in the hen house. but once in a while a guy can't help himself.... it happens all too often. a fight breaks out , someone gets their ass kicked and there is that "high school soap opera", the one thing that most dont get is that after that is all done guys usually end up going back to being friends, usually , not always. friends are friends for a reason. its dumb i know its just the way it goes. us guys have accepted this for yrs.



peace be with you


joshua

I understand what you are saying, but you can't help who you love.

Beyond that just because you were dating a friend's ex, doesn't mean they'd have to around them per se. Could just spend time with each separately.

You sound young and about to play with fire. Please be warned that it will only result in everyone being hurt and creating a big mess of chaos.

Spending time with them seperately will not "fix" things. Just knowing that you are dating their ex or hearing about it from mutual acquaintances, will hurt your friend over and over. Your friend will most likely feel used and betrayed.

I hate to be harsh but, the saying that you cannot help who you love is a cop out. You have the choice on whether to ever act upon those feelings or not. Thus, ultimately, it is still your choice.

My advice, if you truly care about your friend, respect that friendship.

That's my advice. Take it or leave it.
Alexia

I understand it to be an easier lay for them regardless of the friendship. I disagree with this cause I value frieds more then what is offered for a short time.