Topic: can you
lcjw's photo
Sun 07/20/08 08:35 AM

I hope I can find more than that, but if it comes down to being alone or being just content - I'll settle for content............maybe.

Hope I find out soon.

love the heart picture.

ElaineSeekingJerry's photo
Sun 07/20/08 08:35 AM


*phew!* So glad to hear others reiterating what I know to be true for me ... settling is a form of slow death and I can't/won't do that to myself again. Being alone is by far the better alternative, in my experience.

I don't se being alone as an alternative, but I have hope and faith that the "perfect" man FOR ME, not the perfect man, will come along.


I guess I meant being alone 'in the interim' -- I don't need to be in a relationship with Mr. Pretty Great Guy until Mr. Perfect for Me Guy comes along ... I'm okay flying solo until I find the person who is the RIGHT fit on all levels ... I agree, hope & faith! :heart:

Peekinin's photo
Sun 07/20/08 08:36 AM
For me, a long lasting successful relationship means growth and melding

If i see the potential for that, then I would expect to be content to be satisfied with in the day

Its not settling,,its core to core that is my standard:wink: happy

Jim519's photo
Sun 07/20/08 08:36 AM

be happy with just being content with someone,they may not be everything your looking for but they do other little things that make you happy?



Thats what I call a casual overnight encounterbigsmile

feistybaby's photo
Sun 07/20/08 08:36 AM
Nope I will never settle for less than I want just to not be single. At one time I did have it all so I know it exists. Due to an accident fate took it away from me but I know with the right person that it still exists for me. And if you know in your heart you are settling you are just setting yourself up for failure....

lcjw's photo
Sun 07/20/08 08:37 AM



*phew!* So glad to hear others reiterating what I know to be true for me ... settling is a form of slow death and I can't/won't do that to myself again. Being alone is by far the better alternative, in my experience.

I don't se being alone as an alternative, but I have hope and faith that the "perfect" man FOR ME, not the perfect man, will come along.


I guess I meant being alone 'in the interim' -- I don't need to be in a relationship with Mr. Pretty Great Guy until Mr. Perfect for Me Guy comes along ... I'm okay flying solo until I find the person who is the RIGHT fit on all levels ... I agree, hope & faith! :heart:

I agree with that statement!

MLG40's photo
Sun 07/20/08 08:39 AM

*phew!* So glad to hear others reiterating what I know to be true for me ... settling is a form of slow death and I can't/won't do that to myself again. Being alone is by far the better alternative, in my experience.


But on the other side of the coin, Loneliness is another form of slow death as well. But you should not settle for the first person you meet or date just to be content.
But if you have overly high expectations; then with who, or even when do you think you will be happy?

lcjw's photo
Sun 07/20/08 08:40 AM


*phew!* So glad to hear others reiterating what I know to be true for me ... settling is a form of slow death and I can't/won't do that to myself again. Being alone is by far the better alternative, in my experience.


But on the other side of the coin, Loneliness is another form of slow death as well. But you should not settle for the first person you meet or date just to be content.
But if you have overly high expectations; then with who, or even when do you think you will be happy?



oh no! what to do? what to do? anyone has the right answer?

Peekinin's photo
Sun 07/20/08 08:42 AM



*phew!* So glad to hear others reiterating what I know to be true for me ... settling is a form of slow death and I can't/won't do that to myself again. Being alone is by far the better alternative, in my experience.


But on the other side of the coin, Loneliness is another form of slow death as well. But you should not settle for the first person you meet or date just to be content.
But if you have overly high expectations; then with who, or even when do you think you will be happy?



Be happy and content with yourself.

Only then can you be happy with someone elseflowerforyou

oh no! what to do? what to do? anyone has the right answer?

ElaineSeekingJerry's photo
Sun 07/20/08 08:43 AM


*phew!* So glad to hear others reiterating what I know to be true for me ... settling is a form of slow death and I can't/won't do that to myself again. Being alone is by far the better alternative, in my experience.


But on the other side of the coin, Loneliness is another form of slow death as well. But you should not settle for the first person you meet or date just to be content.
But if you have overly high expectations; then with who, or even when do you think you will be happy?



I couldn't agree more - expectations MUST be realistic (and are, of course, very individually discerned) or you'll never find happiness - with or without a partner. I was just speaking from personal experience. I spent most of my adult life with a 'great man', but not the 'right man' -- I made concessions in my criteria for a partner that should not have been made and ended up feeling lonelier IN the relationship than I've ever felt since leaving it. (I think we're all saying the same thing, just in different words, perhaps! :smile: )

lcjw's photo
Sun 07/20/08 08:45 AM




*phew!* So glad to hear others reiterating what I know to be true for me ... settling is a form of slow death and I can't/won't do that to myself again. Being alone is by far the better alternative, in my experience.


But on the other side of the coin, Loneliness is another form of slow death as well. But you should not settle for the first person you meet or date just to be content.
But if you have overly high expectations; then with who, or even when do you think you will be happy?



Be happy and content with yourself.

Only then can you be happy with someone elseflowerforyou

oh no! what to do? what to do? anyone has the right answer?


I am happy and content with myself; I think that is the problem. I want someone who is on the same page as I am, and it has been hard to find the total package.

PacificStar48's photo
Sun 07/20/08 08:48 AM
Depends what you settle over. If it is the guy isn't everything on my "list" well that is just letting someone be human but if it is a biggy like a guy doing something my gut says this will drive me up the wall later NO WAY. I am amazed at the criteria some people use to pick mates. Always knocked me out that folks that place physical beauty or things over character and personality. I always look real hard at the things that are rarely going to change such as habits, personality, character, lifestlye, attitude, self perception, copeing skills ect.. If those things are not going to work for me I would pass.

KeepingTheFaith's photo
Sun 07/20/08 08:48 AM


*phew!* So glad to hear others reiterating what I know to be true for me ... settling is a form of slow death and I can't/won't do that to myself again. Being alone is by far the better alternative, in my experience.


But on the other side of the coin, Loneliness is another form of slow death as well. But you should not settle for the first person you meet or date just to be content.
But if you have overly high expectations; then with who, or even when do you think you will be happy?



I've always said that I would rather be lonely and alone, then together and miserable.

Can you enjoy being with someone that helps occupy the time? Sure...but wouldn't it be better to invest that energy into finding someone that you can build a real relationship with? That's my preference.

It's taken me a while to figure out what it is I truly want...and some of that was learned through tough life experiences and exposure to things I know I DON'T want. Getting to that point was WAY to hard to settle for anything less...never again! flowerforyou

ElaineSeekingJerry's photo
Sun 07/20/08 08:50 AM



*phew!* So glad to hear others reiterating what I know to be true for me ... settling is a form of slow death and I can't/won't do that to myself again. Being alone is by far the better alternative, in my experience.


But on the other side of the coin, Loneliness is another form of slow death as well. But you should not settle for the first person you meet or date just to be content.
But if you have overly high expectations; then with who, or even when do you think you will be happy?



I've always said that I would rather be lonely and alone, then together and miserable.

Can you enjoy being with someone that helps occupy the time? Sure...but wouldn't it be better to invest that energy into finding someone that you can build a real relationship with? That's my preference.

It's taken me a while to figure out what it is I truly want...and some of that was learned through tough life experiences and exposure to things I know I DON'T want. Getting to that point was WAY to hard to settle for anything less...never again! flowerforyou


Yep! It's official, KTF, you and I were separated at birth - you're takin' the words right out of my mouth again today! :thumbsup:

KeepingTheFaith's photo
Sun 07/20/08 08:53 AM




*phew!* So glad to hear others reiterating what I know to be true for me ... settling is a form of slow death and I can't/won't do that to myself again. Being alone is by far the better alternative, in my experience.


But on the other side of the coin, Loneliness is another form of slow death as well. But you should not settle for the first person you meet or date just to be content.
But if you have overly high expectations; then with who, or even when do you think you will be happy?



I've always said that I would rather be lonely and alone, then together and miserable.

Can you enjoy being with someone that helps occupy the time? Sure...but wouldn't it be better to invest that energy into finding someone that you can build a real relationship with? That's my preference.

It's taken me a while to figure out what it is I truly want...and some of that was learned through tough life experiences and exposure to things I know I DON'T want. Getting to that point was WAY to hard to settle for anything less...never again! flowerforyou


Yep! It's official, KTF, you and I were separated at birth - you're takin' the words right out of my mouth again today! :thumbsup:


Great minds think alike, my friend! :tongue:

starlynsangel's photo
Sun 07/20/08 09:06 AM
you shouldn't settle...you should always try to be happy, and have your needs met by the other person. It's not fair to the other person to settle for them either...they deserve better.

missy51970's photo
Sun 07/20/08 09:09 AM



*phew!* So glad to hear others reiterating what I know to be true for me ... settling is a form of slow death and I can't/won't do that to myself again. Being alone is by far the better alternative, in my experience.

I don't se being alone as an alternative, but I have hope and faith that the "perfect" man FOR ME, not the perfect man, will come along.


I guess I meant being alone 'in the interim' -- I don't need to be in a relationship with Mr. Pretty Great Guy until Mr. Perfect for Me Guy comes along ... I'm okay flying solo until I find the person who is the RIGHT fit on all levels ... I agree, hope & faith! :heart:



Nicely said ..and I agreeflowerforyou

RKISIT's photo
Sun 07/20/08 09:12 AM

you shouldn't settle...you should always try to be happy, and have your needs met by the other person. It's not fair to the other person to settle for them either...they deserve better.
wow it seems by most of the answers people r saying content would mean your lowering your expectations, i thought content meant your happy with what you got, not what you dont have.

starlynsangel's photo
Sun 07/20/08 09:14 AM


you shouldn't settle...you should always try to be happy, and have your needs met by the other person. It's not fair to the other person to settle for them either...they deserve better.
wow it seems by most of the answers people r saying content would mean your lowering your expectations, i thought content meant your happy with what you got, not what you dont have.

but if your concerned with what you don't have...then your not really happy.

RKISIT's photo
Sun 07/20/08 09:19 AM



you shouldn't settle...you should always try to be happy, and have your needs met by the other person. It's not fair to the other person to settle for them either...they deserve better.
wow it seems by most of the answers people r saying content would mean your lowering your expectations, i thought content meant your happy with what you got, not what you dont have.

but if your concerned with what you don't have...then your not really happy.
amenflowerforyou sad