What an interesting thread!

I hope all of the threads on this site are as thought-provoking, and bring such interesting responses as this one has.

I think that people are afraid that if they invest, they may find themselves involved with a game player, and that can hurt.

but how is one to know until they invest time and energy into anything?

I think that after investing time and energy again and again to no avail, people lose hope and get jaded.

I can see and respect that, but when one stops taking risks/chances one cannot enjoy the accomplishments which can be in any form.

Not everyone is the same, while it may be cumbersome to weed out the loonies and lulus, when you meet a genuine person it does compensate for the loonies and lulus of the world. JMO

Ever met a girl who doesn't answer the phone because they don't want to talk to that person? Whats the reason? "I didnt want to hurt that persons feelings."

In my expierence, women in general prefer to let people they no longer have interest in "fade away" instead of openly telling them. It's mainly so they don't hurt their feelings. Alot of people have picked up on that. I think this is a big reason alot of people say move on. It's a horrable feeling when you stay and fight for someone who no longer has any intention of being with you. They don't tell you, and let you fight hopeing you get a hint. The whole desperate thing.

I think of it like this. I never have a problem fighting for someone i care about. One day, there will be someone who fights for me just as hard as i fight for them. I'm not afraid of looking like a desperate loser if i truely care about someone. It's why i never have any regrets.

Also something of note: People that spaz out when they don't hear from someone in a day have low self esteem. I've done it. Your mind goes nuts with a bunch of conclusions and you want someone to tell you what to do. It's usually a good indicator that you should do stuff to boost your self esteem.

I see hurt when they do that. Emotions and a quick tongue= fog

men in general do exactly the same thing.

I don t

I dont either

I don't either.

I hate generalizations

i.e., nothing good comes easy

well I dont "hate" but agree.

Most people can't stand rejection. A lot of people hate to reject others. Letting them "fade away" without letting them know if you want to pursue something more is the cowards way out.

The best thing to do is BE HONEST but polite and tactful. If someone gets hurt or insulted by you best efforts of being honest with them, that is not your fault.

If you tell someone you are interested getting to know them better and they don't respond, take the hint. If you need to know the details, try asking them outright.

I get to know people on the forums. I don't like a few messages and then an invite to talk on Yahoo messenger. I don't use that. It is too easy to pick up viruses and it has spy ware.

JB

Yea, i believe men do it as well, but i haven't dated any.

Why do you hate generalizations? Do you actually think i'm talking about you?

I agree, and personally it shows a lack of maturity to not just tell them the truth that you aren't interested any longer.

I would rather someone just flat out tell me they aren't interested then to just brush me off. I mean I am an adult, and I think I've had enough experience with rejection that I know how to cope with it and I know it's not the end of the world.

people give up easily------because it's very difficult to be an adult! (or they just haven't grown up, emotionally that is)
besides......so many people want instant gratification on all levels of life.

When you're ending a relationship, closure is really important to the other person.

Women may fear hurting a guy's feelings but it's worse for him if he doesn't understand why it ended.

The same holds true of men. If you've been involved with a woman for a long time you owe it to them to tell them somehow why you've decided it's never going to work. A phone call, an IM chat, an email, or a face-to-face meeting will help a lot.

When you don't give someone closure you leave them with a lot of unresolved issues and feelings and it's really not fair to them. If you loved them or had strong feelings for them you can at least bury the relationship with some decency.

As far as resolving issues in a relationship goes, I think you can grow as a person when you try to resolve them. Sometimes it works but in some cases there are core issues that never seem to go away or get resolved even though you keep wanting this person in your life. You either have be satisfied that these issues will never be resolved or finally admit that it will never work.

I respect your opinion but dont agree, why is it that people are so reliant and dependent on someone else (never truly understood that) to validate or provide with some false sense of 'closure' applies in this situation.

Does it truly matter why Ms. X, no longer wishes to be with Mr. X?? She has made a decision and while it may be 'nice' to provide info, it is not necessary. Mr. X then has to go thru all the emotions he allows himself to go thru, buck up and continue living.

Should it matter if Mrs. X is now gay?
Decided she wants to be alone?
Decided she doesnt love him anymore?
is or is not satisfied?
outted him as being on the d/l?
whatever her reasons are he is responsible for his own closure and the dealing of his feelings not her. just my own opinion and also applies if roles reversed

Then I'd say you're a very selfish person....but that's only my opinion.