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| Topic: The ex factor... | |
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Fade, Hiya Dahling.....  Yes, I see that thinking, but it was still a choice to start dating. I guess I just don't think that way, nor do I agree with people doing that. I prefer to be right with me first and not "use" others to get over something I should do on my own. JMO ya I totally understand, but I think sometimes people don't even realize they are 'filling in the void' .. I was guilty once and when my main man came back into the pic 2 mos later, I had eyes ONLY for him again. I felt horrible about it, but it is what it is. sigh |
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There is a huge, vast, giagantic difference between caring about someone who impacted your life and you once loved romantically, and being over them.
If this is a blast, or a shock, or disruptive to your life, here is a hint: You are not over her. JMO Fade~ I know it, luv, we all have moments. But I might just be biotchier than most. 
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I just didn't expect her to tell me that she'd leave all her stuff in Indiana and come back here. I've heard somewhere that when you love someone, you'll always love them. Doesn't mean that they are right for you, doesn't mean that you have to drop everything that you are doing and jump back into a life that you weren't happy in. I'm happy now.
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There is a huge, vast, giagantic difference between caring about someone who impacted your life and you once loved romantically, and being over them. If this is a blast, or a shock, or disruptive to your life, here is a hint: You are not over her. JMO Fade~ I know it, luv, we all have moments. But I might just be biotchier than most. You know it's funny. Cuz when he came back into my world, it wasn't a shock or anything. AT FIRST. Then it began to grow back to what it was. I was surprised at my own reactions. And when we saw each other again in person? There was no way I could fool myself any longer into saying it was 'over' in my heart of hearts. It is what it is. *sigh* (( Lilith )) You b*tchier than MOI? I think not little missy.  
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My ex, not the most recent one (Fade you know, lol) but the one before him. I loved him. If he called and said that I'd just remind him why we broke up and be flattered. But honestly, if a person is not good enough for you once or vice versa, that really never changes. It just shifts. People don't really change. They evolve and grow, but the essence of the person is the same.
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Keep going and don't look back,  jmo anyway, I have to agree Don't look back
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Keep going and don't look back, jmo anyway, What he said. |
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Dude, it's your life, and you're going to have to make the call. But somebody's gonna get hurt, and I sure hope it isn't the present GF, because she took a chance on you - and she's the innocent one in this mess.
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Honestly your ex had a choice. I say keep going where your going let the past stay in the past and only learn from it to give yourself a better future.
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Thanks for the advise, I did what I knew I was going to do the whole time...I'm much happier now than with the ex, so it wasn't much of a choice really. It was more how to tell her that I was worried about.
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Well I'm glad you decided not to go back to your ex.
I was in the same position at one time. I left a relationship that I was happy in to be with my ex. It ended 3 months later because of the same bullshyt. Then I was really upset. I would be honest with her. Just tell her you are happy in the relationship you're in and you cannot ever foresee going backwards. Truth, sometimes it hurts, but it always preveils. |
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Keep strong. Keep your head up. Yes, you miss her, but do you miss the pain? Will you be able to be with her and forget the pain she caused you? I had my heart broken very badly recently and he called me begging to come back. But the truth is I could never forget the pain. If someone loves you, they would never hurt you. I agree.. and you are sooo right.. if someone loves you they would never hurt you! Do not go back OP.. keep what is good for you now |
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one door closes while another opens.
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Well, how it looks from here is that you aren't over her. If you were, this would be a non-issue. Yea, to be totally honest though, I probably won't ever be TOTALLY over her. It's just something I'm going to have to deal with. Post....I hate to break your bubble, but you WILL eventually be totally over her. Give yourself some time and don't torture yourself with 'what if's'. Unless you were both willing to go for counseling...NOTHING HAS CHANGED! You will do fine....get on with your life and thank your lucky stars this is happening now. Imagine getting back together with her and having to face this same dilemna 5 years from her because NOTHING HAD CHANGED. Better to toss 2 years than 10. 
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ok let me level with you man your happy with your new girl right?
and your ex is making it hard again right? then you need to stick with your new girl. not for any stupid reason like its not right to leave someone for someone else but because things already fell apart with your ex and in my experience(which has been strange) once a relationship falls apart you need to move on because i have never seen it truely work out afterwards. best regards to you. and good luck |
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I just want to thank everyone for their insights on the situation. You guys all kick a*s! Everything is going swimmingly now. Thanks again.
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I'd tell your ex-girlfriend that you wish her well but it's over between you. The things that drove you crazy with her haven't gone away. She hasn't changed. You'd put yourself through all that grief all over again and she'd rip your heart to shreds all over again.
Move onto your life with the new lady and hope that things turn out much better this time. Learn the lessons of the past but don't try to reignite what needs to fade away. |
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