ok, so with the up coming BCT Graduation, i have been contemplating whether i should invite my real mom to my graduation. first off let me say that my aunt is what i consider my mom as she is the one who took me in when my real mom was drinking and putting men first. second, during my high school graduation she made a scene in front of everyone in the gym..... i have been so horrified that i have refused to talk to her since.
basically i have been struggling to invite her or not.... any thoughts/questions?

This pretty deep

What does your gut tell you?

it tells me no but then something inside me says yes because i owe it to her, but i don't owe her squat!

think this way... #1. you dont owe HER you owe YOU!!!!
2nd... you dont want to live life with regrets... if you lost her next year... would you have regrets of not inviting her???/


If she makes a scene... ultimately... who is she hurting... yes it hurts your feelings... but people dont see you as the bad guy...

so do what you can live with

Go with your gut, its usually right

Is she still drinking? If so, then no, I wouldn't invite her. This should be a happy day for you, not when where you're waiting for it all to fall down on your head. If she's not drinking, and her behavior has changed, then yes, it might be good for both of you to have her there.

that is just it... she hasn't changed

Stop!!! You owe it to yourself to be happy. If a parent cannot act like a parent for what ever reason, then don't associate with them If it was my mother (and I love mine very much), I would not invite her to anything.

LIFE THROWS YOU CURVES EVERY CHANCE IT GETS.YOU CANT ALWAYS RUN FROM YOUR PROBLEMS BUT YOU DONT HAVE TO STAND AND WAIT FOR THEM EITHER .LIVE YOUR LIFE FOR YOU LET THE PEOPLE IN THAT WANTS TO BE THERE THE REST FORGET ABOUT. THEIR LOSS

Listen to Jim - follow your gut. And don't risk her ruining another life's milestone for you.

Sorry Hon, but my gut agree's with your gut. This is YOUR time, not hers and if she hasn't changed then please don't take the chance that she will ruin that. You have worked your ass off accomplishing the right to walk with your class, and you deserve great memories of that. JMHO

well the next graduation of mine is army basic.... that is why i was wondering... but yes i will have worked my butt off for it... haven't got a date of going yet but its been on my mind lately.

I don't think it matters when or where you have any kind of gathering, especially a graduation or B-Day, she shouldn't be given the chance to ruin that if she hasn't changed. Take this time for you this time. Ulitmately, the decision is yours. To take the chnace or not. We can say whatever we think in here, but it is up to you. I know what I would do if I were you and I would not invite her or even tell here where it was at.
Can you imagine if you didn't invite her and she got all drunk or whatever and showed up anyway and caused a scene? I know addicts, and they are so unpredictable, Hon. Best of luck with this. I hope that no matter what you decide that it is a happy time for you.