then what? lose #1? nooooo

I will call #2

I could not tell #1

Some things I wouldn't want to know myself!

If #2 tells #1 I will then fess up and then------------

Be left with nowt !!!!

OK. it happens. be glad is was only 2.

you have made your choice. it's #1. if #2 is out of your life
then it's over. it was a fling. work on #1 - love him and make
sure he is the focus of your sexual attention. try to help him
to dramatically improve in that department. seek counseling
if necessary. when the time comes you will be able to tell him
about #2 - it will be so over then. you can spare him the
details.

meanwhile you may find that #1 really appreciates the increased
attention and sincerity. you might do some joint counseling on
how to spice up your sex life with him. it's easy if you are
just a little creative....lots of options.

if you are having further trouble dealing with this really -
get some counseling. they see this type of thing every day.

but if you know that #2 isn't right then you must cut off
all communication with him - it will only bring additional
pain.



good luck to all of the concerned. this isn't drama. it's life.
it's barely a scene...

If u were in love with #1 would just a spiff have let you go start falling for somebody else??

honestly i don't think you deserve either one, this is deception at it's finest. JMO

Have you considered letting them both loose?

I would have said that the one you can't let go is the one for you, but you already did let him go...long enough to take up with someone else.

If you really could not let him go, #2 would not exist in your life at all. People have tiffs without dating other men. IMO

shame shame

sounds like neither one is for you. If you were "in love" with #1 then there never should have been a #2. Sorry.. but thats how I see it. Be fair to both and let them both go. IMO.. you cheated on #1 and thats a no no in my book.
If you let #2 go its just a matter of time before theres another one... you sound too much like my ex... mmm mmm mmm!

all i was saying is.... if you dont tell number 1 its not starting out rekindling a relationship totally honestly... so maybe he or you feel like you made a mistake... but at least its not hiding the fact for later him to find out... after all you werent together when you got with number 2.... comminucate..... that is the key if you cant communicate with a partner why be with them? if he cant forgive the mistake now he sure wont when he finds out a yr down the road and you didnt tell him all he is going to wonder is what else hasnt she told me? that is called trust...he will feel you betrayed him and not be able to trust you...

Stop!!! Drop and roll!!!

Seriously......you need to get away from both for a few days.......weeks and think it all out. Tell them you need some time away to think......which you would be doing. Your head is not clear right now.......you need to get out of the fog.

#1 left me. I didn't leave him. Then is when I met #2. #1 came back and explained some things and I could see his sincerity and felt we had something worth saving. I was so afraid then to tell him about #2 so I didn't. I was wrong to have not ended it right then with #2. But this did not start out as a deception. It just ended up that way. And no I am not perfect. I am in a perfect pickle.

I called #2 just a few minutes ago and told him I went back to #1. He called me a few select names and hung up , then he called back and said he still wanted a relationship with me. I said no. He called back again and called me a few more select names. Now Im scared.

Why are you scared? Has he threatened you in any way?

Ok back to the original question:

You are passionate with guy #2... And not with guy #1. All this passion is usually the result of infactuation. However, there is something to keep in mind during all of this.

Sex, passion, whatever you call the physical part of the relationship is just as important as the emotional part. Meaning; if guy number 2 was a good man as well, and you know he would treat you right, he would have been the one to go with. You see when relationships are lacking in the passion department, the emotional department usually suffers as a result. This also explains why passion alone will not make for a stable relationship. The two go hand in hand.

This is where you would ask yourself, "who are you happier with?" Some of the passion does go away over time anyway, which is also something to keep in mind. But there is an aspect of human nature you need to consider... Whatever our current relationships don't satisfy, we, or our partners, are bound to find somewhere else.

Anyway, since you broke things off with guy number two, and he is acting immature, i would ignore him. He is no good for you anymore. Rethink your relationship with guy number 1. Does it really feel like there is something missing? If you REALLY want things to work between you two i would recommend seeing a sex therapist. Or even go to couples counseling to find out why he isn't as driven as you would like him to be. But rethink the relationship first. You see there are plenty of good people out there that just aren't compatable with us romantically. This doesn't mean he or she is inadequate, just not what we need.

dont answer the phone when he calls...

Join a convent for a year and then start over

If you can't decide then the answer is obviously neither. When it comes to love, I think if you have doubts about the person then they are not the one.

Sounds more like "Like" with one and "Lust" with another. Just my take on it. I'm thinking it'd be a good idea to learn to lust the one you like, or like the one you lust, and lose one of them before I start playing dueling banjos and nuking popcorn.