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Topic: Violence in teen dating scene
litchic's photo
Tue 07/01/08 08:08 PM



If you mathmatically figure in the time spent on TV/video games/internet of a child age range around 10-14 and plug in the time frame that a parent (one or both) spends with that child, you get an awesomely bad showing of parental responsibility. Most children grow up with the aid of video games or movies, and no one teaches them an outlet for aggression. So this aggression psychologically becomes pent up anger, creating passive aggressive and eventual aggresser. Therefore this pent up aggression goes out on what they learned (ala GTA) let's beat up women, cause the parent(s) never taught the basic wrong and right.


which is why i say it takes a village. so one parent does a crappy job. does that mean the child is doomed? no. there are other influences -- family members, neighbors, teachers, coaches, etc. it is the responsibility of all of society to positively influence youths who are in fact the future of society.


So the parent shouldn't have had a child...easy as that, not lay the responsibility selfishly upon an entire village to raise their child...that is poor decision making.


the fact is, whether or not the decision was poor, the child was born, and the child will become a member of society. personally, i'd rather have as many positively contributing members of society in our future as possible.

willy_cents's photo
Tue 07/01/08 08:08 PM


Generally, kids grow up to be good people in spite of their parents and society, not because of them:smile:


Then I fail to see a point to this topic...I mean if they are going to grow up to be good people why are we worried about it?
probably 95% of the kids grow up to be great adults...it is the other 5% that have problems. They are the ones we worry about. Always want 100%

No1sLove's photo
Tue 07/01/08 08:11 PM



If you mathmatically figure in the time spent on TV/video games/internet of a child age range around 10-14 and plug in the time frame that a parent (one or both) spends with that child, you get an awesomely bad showing of parental responsibility. Most children grow up with the aid of video games or movies, and no one teaches them an outlet for aggression. So this aggression psychologically becomes pent up anger, creating passive aggressive and eventual aggresser. Therefore this pent up aggression goes out on what they learned (ala GTA) let's beat up women, cause the parent(s) never taught the basic wrong and right.


which is why i say it takes a village. so one parent does a crappy job. does that mean the child is doomed? no. there are other influences -- family members, neighbors, teachers, coaches, etc. it is the responsibility of all of society to positively influence youths who are in fact the future of society.


So the parent shouldn't have had a child...easy as that, not lay the responsibility selfishly upon an entire village to raise their child...that is poor decision making.
Most people don't get married planning on getting a divorce with three children, having ruined credit from that divorce and daddy disappearing into the sunset either. Most of us don't see ourselves working two jobs to keep our children safe and dry ten years from the point of conception...but life happens. If every individual raised their children with good examples and taught them aggression is not acceptable by not allowing it to go on in their homes in front of their kids...then all of society WOULD be setting a better example to our youth overall.

Next topic...why do people allow this to go on in their homes...repeatedly! huh

FearandLoathing's photo
Tue 07/01/08 08:12 PM




If you mathmatically figure in the time spent on TV/video games/internet of a child age range around 10-14 and plug in the time frame that a parent (one or both) spends with that child, you get an awesomely bad showing of parental responsibility. Most children grow up with the aid of video games or movies, and no one teaches them an outlet for aggression. So this aggression psychologically becomes pent up anger, creating passive aggressive and eventual aggresser. Therefore this pent up aggression goes out on what they learned (ala GTA) let's beat up women, cause the parent(s) never taught the basic wrong and right.


which is why i say it takes a village. so one parent does a crappy job. does that mean the child is doomed? no. there are other influences -- family members, neighbors, teachers, coaches, etc. it is the responsibility of all of society to positively influence youths who are in fact the future of society.


So the parent shouldn't have had a child...easy as that, not lay the responsibility selfishly upon an entire village to raise their child...that is poor decision making.


the fact is, whether or not the decision was poor, the child was born, and the child will become a member of society. personally, i'd rather have as many positively contributing members of society in our future as possible.


So give them to a better family, I'm not one to promote adoption but if one knows they will not be able to raise a child they should give them up to a family that will...instead of hoping that others will take responsibility for them...

litchic's photo
Tue 07/01/08 08:12 PM



Generally, kids grow up to be good people in spite of their parents and society, not because of them:smile:


Then I fail to see a point to this topic...I mean if they are going to grow up to be good people why are we worried about it?
probably 95% of the kids grow up to be great adults...it is the other 5% that have problems. They are the ones we worry about. Always want 100%


you really think 95% of adults are "great"? i want to live where you do...

itsmetina's photo
Tue 07/01/08 08:13 PM
some kids are not being taught to respect others and have manners

litchic's photo
Tue 07/01/08 08:13 PM

So give them to a better family, I'm not one to promote adoption but if one knows they will not be able to raise a child they should give them up to a family that will...instead of hoping that others will take responsibility for them...


obviously that's not realistic.

FearandLoathing's photo
Tue 07/01/08 08:14 PM


So give them to a better family, I'm not one to promote adoption but if one knows they will not be able to raise a child they should give them up to a family that will...instead of hoping that others will take responsibility for them...


obviously that's not realistic.


And hoping someone else will take care of the child is?

DeathsTreaty's photo
Tue 07/01/08 08:15 PM
Beat the kid till he can barely breathe, then wait for him to fully recover and do it again...

No1sLove's photo
Tue 07/01/08 08:15 PM



Generally, kids grow up to be good people in spite of their parents and society, not because of them:smile:


Then I fail to see a point to this topic...I mean if they are going to grow up to be good people why are we worried about it?
probably 95% of the kids grow up to be great adults...it is the other 5% that have problems. They are the ones we worry about. Always want 100%
These are the adults we see today...but who knows what kind of adults these kids will be coming from a generation where teen violence in relationships is so rampant. THIS we have yet to discover, and what might prove a problem in the future. If they picked up their behavior by example then it will only multiply. I know there are a large percentage of those who make a point not to do the atrocities they were raised around...but if this is becoming an epidemic, then those percentages are obviously lowering now. Isn't that what this indicates?

willy_cents's photo
Tue 07/01/08 08:16 PM

Next topic...why do people allow this to go on in their homes...repeatedly! huh
because they either
A. Have no clue how to deal with it
B. think that they do not have time to deal with it
C. Do not think it important do deal with
D. Are too wrapped up in drugs or alcohol to see the problem.
E. do not realize that their example is setting the tone in the home.


I read somewhere once that a child learns how to treat their mate by the time they are three years old. Scary thought.

brooke007's photo
Tue 07/01/08 08:17 PM
I dont think it has to do so much with family life, or violence in movies/games.....

these kids are growing up FAST!! the have computers, cell phones, and not to mention parents BUST THEIR a$$ES to give their children everything they WANT.. (making them spoiled)

peer pressure..thats what I think..
for both girls and guys...they want to be cool, they want to fit in, they want the most popular and funniest girl/guy to be theirs..
its just another possession to them...like having the latest and greatest xbox game.

litchic's photo
Tue 07/01/08 08:18 PM



So give them to a better family, I'm not one to promote adoption but if one knows they will not be able to raise a child they should give them up to a family that will...instead of hoping that others will take responsibility for them...


obviously that's not realistic.


And hoping someone else will take care of the child is?


yep. thankfully there are enough people in the world who care about the wellbeing of children whether or not they are their own kids.

i think the mentality of "not my kid, not my problem" is pretty short-sighted. that kid will become your problem when s/he's contributing to the crime rate in your area down the road, or popping out kids of his or her own that your taxes will support.

hikerchick's photo
Tue 07/01/08 08:19 PM



So give them to a better family, I'm not one to promote adoption but if one knows they will not be able to raise a child they should give them up to a family that will...instead of hoping that others will take responsibility for them...


obviously that's not realistic.


And hoping someone else will take care of the child is?
Fear - darling - I love you.

I think the whole "it takes a village to raise a child idea" stems from the notion that we as a society benefit from having children, all children, raised properly. And it rests on the premise that parents cannot be with their own children 24/7. So the onus is on the other members of the village to provide a good example for other people's children, and sometimes to offer some guidance. If I see a child playing on the train tracks, I am not going to say "it's not my kid". I am going to encourage them to play elsewhere.

That's all. Not doing someone else's job; just helping for the good of all.flowerforyou

no photo
Tue 07/01/08 08:22 PM
No real father figures in their life. If divorce rates have increased due to lack of morals, loyalty, commitments, etc... Not because human population has grown larger each year, then I say that is the problem.

That is why I believe in the "Old Ways", as far as what are expected out of men. Why I say the things I say without caring if I hurt someone's feelings or not. I refuse to sugar coat things, I want to be straight up honest. Men should not be scared, their word should be their bond. Not get all emotional and do whatever they want. They should be like kings to each his own household, to be wise and just.


Now i am rambling, I am distracted as I am on the phone. Sorry. I lost my train of thought now.



FearandLoathing's photo
Tue 07/01/08 08:23 PM




So give them to a better family, I'm not one to promote adoption but if one knows they will not be able to raise a child they should give them up to a family that will...instead of hoping that others will take responsibility for them...


obviously that's not realistic.


And hoping someone else will take care of the child is?


yep. thankfully there are enough people in the world who care about the wellbeing of children whether or not they are their own kids.

i think the mentality of "not my kid, not my problem" is pretty short-sighted. that kid will become your problem when s/he's contributing to the crime rate in your area down the road, or popping out kids of his or her own that your taxes will support.


Not that many here in the US, hell we keep putting them in jail...I've met more people with that mentality then I have who don't have that, I am not one of them if that is what you are implying...unfortunately we don't live in this bed of roses that you seem to think so many people are going to jump to take care of a child in our country...but if it is outside our country we will send millions of dollars, everyday hundreds of thousands of children starve because those people that you say help obviously are not helping the right street. Everyday thousands of kids get shot down living in a bad area and being at the wrong place wrong time, everyday children in the US steal from stores to feed themselves. And they rob, steal, cheat, kill, and take what they want from whoever...because of all these caring people?

litchic's photo
Tue 07/01/08 08:31 PM

Not that many here in the US, hell we keep putting them in jail...I've met more people with that mentality then I have who don't have that, I am not one of them if that is what you are implying...unfortunately we don't live in this bed of roses that you seem to think so many people are going to jump to take care of a child in our country...but if it is outside our country we will send millions of dollars, everyday hundreds of thousands of children starve because those people that you say help obviously are not helping the right street. Everyday thousands of kids get shot down living in a bad area and being at the wrong place wrong time, everyday children in the US steal from stores to feed themselves. And they rob, steal, cheat, kill, and take what they want from whoever...because of all these caring people?


i never claimed life was a bed of roses. we do not live in utopia. all each of us can do is individuals is what we believe is right. i can only do my part. i can't influence what other people choose to think and/or do. i do happen to know quite a lot of people who have gone above and beyond in their lives to help children who were not their own -- mostly teachers and social workers. i am realistic, but i also do believe that an individual can make a difference.

as for outside of our country -- do those children not deserve food and medical treatment as well? here in the united states at least there is medicaid and welfare programs. these programs do not exist in many third world countries. and many of the children in these countries are left fending for themselves after they are orphaned. group homes may not be ideal circumstances in which to grow up, but it beats sleeping on the streets.

No1sLove's photo
Tue 07/01/08 08:35 PM


Next topic...why do people allow this to go on in their homes...repeatedly! huh
because they either
A. Have no clue how to deal with it
B. think that they do not have time to deal with it
C. Do not think it important do deal with
D. Are too wrapped up in drugs or alcohol to see the problem.
E. do not realize that their example is setting the tone in the home.


I read somewhere once that a child learns how to treat their mate by the time they are three years old. Scary thought.
I was being sarcastic...just making a point with that...but I agree with a lot of this...especially D and E! Thanks! flowerforyou

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