Community > General Discussion

Topic: Violence in teen dating scene
willy_cents Joined Sat 07/14/07 Posts: 4471	Tue 07/01/08 07:27 PM
I was raised with 9 sisters, if I laid a hand on them in violence, or even accidently got too rough with them, a spanking would have been enjoyable, but no, My Dad would literally beat me until I could not stand up. I learned that gentle was the way, and never hit a lady until she punches you three times.

No1sLove Joined Wed 04/16/08 Posts: 10342	Tue 07/01/08 07:28 PM
Some of my daughter's friends have been in abusive relationships in high school and even in middle school. I think they see it at home and they think it's normal. Also, young girls can be very insecure and they put up with abuse just so that they will have a boyfriend. I guess it's real important to have a b/f in school nowadays, but I was not allowed to date in high school and maybe that's why I'm dating impaired now! It would be nice if there were some balance between the two...where it's not everything or nothing. You cannot control a teenage daughters feelings for a boy no matter what you do though.

No1sLove Joined Wed 04/16/08 Posts: 10342	Tue 07/01/08 07:30 PM
I was raised with 9 sisters, if I laid a hand on them in violence, or even accidently got too rough with them, a spanking would have been enjoyable, but no, My Dad would literally beat me until I could not stand up. I learned that gentle was the way, and never hit a lady until she punches you three times. Next topic...why the devil are women hitting men????

FearandLoathing Joined Fri 12/28/07 Posts: 30121	Tue 07/01/08 07:30 PM
tune up a rap station and listen to the words. Violence is exalted in many songs in that particular music style. Play a few very popular vid games for a while, watch the crap we adults put on tv and in the movies. Is it any wonder that they are not more violent as teens? JMAO Never been a proven connection between violent media and violence, if you really want to get technical about it I can break it down here. Lack of attention from parents, has nothing to do with the kid watching a violent movie...has to do with the parent that didn't play catch with the kid instead. Like a drop of cyanide in the gene pool it just keeps circulating.

willy_cents Joined Sat 07/14/07 Posts: 4471	Tue 07/01/08 07:35 PM Edited by willy_cents on Tue 07/01/08 07:36 PM
Next topic...why the devil are women hitting men???? because they can? I don't know about other places, but here in my town, Does not matter what the woman does, hit, stab, whatever, if the guy retaliates with violence, he goes to jail and she walks, then, after investigation, she goes to prison, but he still spent a week in jail...Equality... no offense meant to anyone

litchic Joined Mon 06/30/08 Posts: 38	Tue 07/01/08 07:35 PM
Also, young girls can be very insecure and they put up with abuse just so that they will have a boyfriend. i believe this is the heart of the matter right here. it is very important for young women to know that their worth is NOT measured by their ability to attract young men. it makes me really sad how lacking in self esteem lots of girls are, and how they are willing to put up with less than respectful behavior, not to mention abuse. we (society) need to teach our girls while they are young that they are valuable individuals, and they need to respect themselves and expect nothing less than respect from others.

FearandLoathing Joined Fri 12/28/07 Posts: 30121	Tue 07/01/08 07:36 PM
Also, young girls can be very insecure and they put up with abuse just so that they will have a boyfriend. i believe this is the heart of the matter right here. it is very important for young women to know that their worth is NOT measured by their ability to attract young men. it makes me really sad how lacking in self esteem lots of girls are, and how they are willing to put up with less than respectful behavior, not to mention abuse. we (society) need to teach our girls while they are young that they are valuable individuals, and they need to respect themselves and expect nothing less than respect from others. Society is not the greatest teacher a child has...

litchic Joined Mon 06/30/08 Posts: 38	Tue 07/01/08 07:39 PM
Also, young girls can be very insecure and they put up with abuse just so that they will have a boyfriend. i believe this is the heart of the matter right here. it is very important for young women to know that their worth is NOT measured by their ability to attract young men. it makes me really sad how lacking in self esteem lots of girls are, and how they are willing to put up with less than respectful behavior, not to mention abuse. we (society) need to teach our girls while they are young that they are valuable individuals, and they need to respect themselves and expect nothing less than respect from others. Society is not the greatest teacher a child has... it takes a village.

FearandLoathing Joined Fri 12/28/07 Posts: 30121	Tue 07/01/08 07:40 PM
Also, young girls can be very insecure and they put up with abuse just so that they will have a boyfriend. i believe this is the heart of the matter right here. it is very important for young women to know that their worth is NOT measured by their ability to attract young men. it makes me really sad how lacking in self esteem lots of girls are, and how they are willing to put up with less than respectful behavior, not to mention abuse. we (society) need to teach our girls while they are young that they are valuable individuals, and they need to respect themselves and expect nothing less than respect from others. Society is not the greatest teacher a child has... it takes a village. No it doesn't, it takes one responsible parent to make responsible choices...a village cannot be held accountable for someone's choice to have a child, the village will burn.

willy_cents Joined Sat 07/14/07 Posts: 4471	Tue 07/01/08 07:41 PM
it takes a village. That depends upon which village you live in. Some of the villages I donot want my kids to be influenced by

No1sLove Joined Wed 04/16/08 Posts: 10342	Tue 07/01/08 07:42 PM
Also, young girls can be very insecure and they put up with abuse just so that they will have a boyfriend. i believe this is the heart of the matter right here. it is very important for young women to know that their worth is NOT measured by their ability to attract young men. it makes me really sad how lacking in self esteem lots of girls are, and how they are willing to put up with less than respectful behavior, not to mention abuse. we (society) need to teach our girls while they are young that they are valuable individuals, and they need to respect themselves and expect nothing less than respect from others. Society is not the greatest teacher a child has... Kids don't only learn from their parents...hell, at this age they don't hardly listen anyway. But all women they run into in their youth are mentors and role models to some extent. As a whole...we do need to make a bigger statement that abuse will not be tolerated. We learn more quickly from example do we not?

No1sLove Joined Wed 04/16/08 Posts: 10342	Tue 07/01/08 07:44 PM
Also, young girls can be very insecure and they put up with abuse just so that they will have a boyfriend. i believe this is the heart of the matter right here. it is very important for young women to know that their worth is NOT measured by their ability to attract young men. it makes me really sad how lacking in self esteem lots of girls are, and how they are willing to put up with less than respectful behavior, not to mention abuse. we (society) need to teach our girls while they are young that they are valuable individuals, and they need to respect themselves and expect nothing less than respect from others. Society is not the greatest teacher a child has... it takes a village. No it doesn't, it takes one responsible parent to make responsible choices...a village cannot be held accountable for someone's choice to have a child, the village will burn. They cannot and should not be held accountable, but we should all be leading our youth with better examples, should we not?

FearandLoathing Joined Fri 12/28/07 Posts: 30121	Tue 07/01/08 07:47 PM Edited by FearandLoathing on Tue 07/01/08 07:47 PM
Also, young girls can be very insecure and they put up with abuse just so that they will have a boyfriend. i believe this is the heart of the matter right here. it is very important for young women to know that their worth is NOT measured by their ability to attract young men. it makes me really sad how lacking in self esteem lots of girls are, and how they are willing to put up with less than respectful behavior, not to mention abuse. we (society) need to teach our girls while they are young that they are valuable individuals, and they need to respect themselves and expect nothing less than respect from others. Society is not the greatest teacher a child has... Kids don't only learn from their parents...hell, at this age they don't hardly listen anyway. But all women they run into in their youth are mentors and role models to some extent. As a whole...we do need to make a bigger statement that abuse will not be tolerated. We learn more quickly from example do we not? If you mathmatically figure in the time spent on TV/video games/internet of a child age range around 10-14 and plug in the time frame that a parent (one or both) spends with that child, you get an awesomely bad showing of parental responsibility. Most children grow up with the aid of video games or movies, and no one teaches them an outlet for aggression. So this aggression psychologically becomes pent up anger, creating passive aggressive and eventual aggresser. Therefore this pent up aggression goes out on what they learned (ala GTA) let's beat up women, cause the parent(s) never taught the basic wrong and right. **This is not for all cases but I can say from a standpoint of playing Doom when it was first released and all the rest of the highly acclaimed violent video games and the multitude of violent films I saw in my youth...I know the difference between reality and virtual.

No1sLove Joined Wed 04/16/08 Posts: 10342	Tue 07/01/08 07:49 PM
Next topic...why the devil are women hitting men???? because they can? I don't know about other places, but here in my town, Does not matter what the woman does, hit, stab, whatever, if the guy retaliates with violence, he goes to jail and she walks, then, after investigation, she goes to prison, but he still spent a week in jail...Equality... no offense meant to anyone Not the first time this week alone I have heard about a woman hitting her husband...how can we teach our boys not to hit women when the women are hitting back? Fine example we show our children! Sorry you had to go there. I am out on physical aggression period...I don't care how big or small someone is..it's the same thing. People cannot control their tempers anymore and rage is taking over our society!

willy_cents Joined Sat 07/14/07 Posts: 4471	Tue 07/01/08 07:52 PM
If you mathmatically figure in the time spent on TV/video games/internet of a child age range around 10-14 and plug in the time frame that a parent (one or both) spends with that child, you get an awesomely bad showing of parental responsibility. Most children grow up with the aid of video games or movies, and no one teaches them an outlet for aggression. So this aggression psychologically becomes pent up anger, creating passive aggressive and eventual aggresser. Therefore this pent up aggression goes out on what they learned (ala GTA) let's beat up women, cause the parent(s) never taught the basic wrong and right. **This is not for all cases but I can say from a standpoint of playing Doom when it was first released and all the rest of the highly acclaimed violent video games and the multitude of violent films I saw in my youth...I know the difference between reality and virtual. Excellent analysis, and very correct

No1sLove Joined Wed 04/16/08 Posts: 10342	Tue 07/01/08 07:56 PM
Also, young girls can be very insecure and they put up with abuse just so that they will have a boyfriend. i believe this is the heart of the matter right here. it is very important for young women to know that their worth is NOT measured by their ability to attract young men. it makes me really sad how lacking in self esteem lots of girls are, and how they are willing to put up with less than respectful behavior, not to mention abuse. we (society) need to teach our girls while they are young that they are valuable individuals, and they need to respect themselves and expect nothing less than respect from others. Society is not the greatest teacher a child has... Kids don't only learn from their parents...hell, at this age they don't hardly listen anyway. But all women they run into in their youth are mentors and role models to some extent. As a whole...we do need to make a bigger statement that abuse will not be tolerated. We learn more quickly from example do we not? If you mathmatically figure in the time spent on TV/video games/internet of a child age range around 10-14 and plug in the time frame that a parent (one or both) spends with that child, you get an awesomely bad showing of parental responsibility. Most children grow up with the aid of video games or movies, and no one teaches them an outlet for aggression. So this aggression psychologically becomes pent up anger, creating passive aggressive and eventual aggresser. Therefore this pent up aggression goes out on what they learned (ala GTA) let's beat up women, cause the parent(s) never taught the basic wrong and right. **This is not for all cases but I can say from a standpoint of playing Doom when it was first released and all the rest of the highly acclaimed violent video games and the multitude of violent films I saw in my youth...I know the difference between reality and virtual. I don't care for the violent video games much myself, but used to play them sometimes with my exes son. Not much television was watched in our home and the video games were a hobby not a lifestyle. When he got into a couple of fights in school, it had nothing to do with video games, and was nothing that the local youth wrestling program and family weekends at tournaments didn't stop flat. He would never have hit a girl even when he went through that stage though...so it's not just normal boyhood aggressions going on in my mind here. This is not just hitting girls..this is possessive behavior backed by violence. Very frighting stuff.

litchic Joined Mon 06/30/08 Posts: 38	Tue 07/01/08 08:00 PM
If you mathmatically figure in the time spent on TV/video games/internet of a child age range around 10-14 and plug in the time frame that a parent (one or both) spends with that child, you get an awesomely bad showing of parental responsibility. Most children grow up with the aid of video games or movies, and no one teaches them an outlet for aggression. So this aggression psychologically becomes pent up anger, creating passive aggressive and eventual aggresser. Therefore this pent up aggression goes out on what they learned (ala GTA) let's beat up women, cause the parent(s) never taught the basic wrong and right. which is why i say it takes a village. so one parent does a crappy job. does that mean the child is doomed? no. there are other influences -- family members, neighbors, teachers, coaches, etc. it is the responsibility of all of society to positively influence youths who are in fact the future of society.

willy_cents Joined Sat 07/14/07 Posts: 4471	Tue 07/01/08 08:03 PM
Generally, kids grow up to be good people in spite of their parents and society, not because of them

FearandLoathing Joined Fri 12/28/07 Posts: 30121	Tue 07/01/08 08:03 PM
If you mathmatically figure in the time spent on TV/video games/internet of a child age range around 10-14 and plug in the time frame that a parent (one or both) spends with that child, you get an awesomely bad showing of parental responsibility. Most children grow up with the aid of video games or movies, and no one teaches them an outlet for aggression. So this aggression psychologically becomes pent up anger, creating passive aggressive and eventual aggresser. Therefore this pent up aggression goes out on what they learned (ala GTA) let's beat up women, cause the parent(s) never taught the basic wrong and right. which is why i say it takes a village. so one parent does a crappy job. does that mean the child is doomed? no. there are other influences -- family members, neighbors, teachers, coaches, etc. it is the responsibility of all of society to positively influence youths who are in fact the future of society. So the parent shouldn't have had a child...easy as that, not lay the responsibility selfishly upon an entire village to raise their child...that is poor decision making.

FearandLoathing Joined Fri 12/28/07 Posts: 30121	Tue 07/01/08 08:03 PM
Generally, kids grow up to be good people in spite of their parents and society, not because of them Then I fail to see a point to this topic...I mean if they are going to grow up to be good people why are we worried about it?