I've never told anybody about this, but I'm going to now because I think
it raises some interesting questions.

Every now and then, I go into downtown Chicago. There are some stores I
like to go to, there are some fascinating things to see at Millennium
Park; I can spend hours just walking around doing nothing, when the
weather’s right.

There's an old black man who has a spot on Michigan Avenue, between
Washington and Randolph, on the west side of the street. He's hard to
miss; doesn't look very healthy, carries a cane, shakes a plastic cup
(looks like it might have come from one of those White Hen or 7-11
fountain drinks) with change in it. He never yells at anyone when they
walk by, as a lot of the other "panhandlers" (for lack of a better term)
will do.

Despite his frailty, he exudes a sort of quiet dignity. I imagine he's
seen a lot in his life, much of it not pleasant, but he manages to haul
himself out to his spot, good weather or bad.

I started dropping a few dollars into his cup whenever I'd see him, and
I've occasionally wondered just why I do it. I'd like to think it's just
an empathetic reaction to seeing a man down on his luck, a man who needs
a little help. But that can't be all there is to it, because the Loop is
full of people sitting on corners, standing around, leaning against
buildings, wailing their misfortunes loud and long to whoever will (or
even won't) listen -- people begging for money, and I rarely give any to
anyone other than this one particular gentleman. He somehow has become
"my" guy, the one I feel good about helping.

So maybe I'm actually doing it more for myself. That's the part that
worries me. I don't care about the money; my financial situation is as
good as it's ever been, maybe as good as it will ever be. A few bucks
here and there really doesn't make any difference....to me.

Maybe it does to him. I don't really know; but I would assume it does,
otherwise he wouldn't be there.

I always say hi to him, ask him how he's doing today, that sort of
thing. And he's always very polite and appreciative, but he doesn’t act
like I’ve done anything special for him, and I don't want him to. I want
him to keep his dignity. I want him to understand that, just because
I've put a little money in his pocket, that doesn't make me think I'm
better than him; if things had turned out a little bit differently five
or ten years ago, who knows? -- our positions could have been reversed.

So much of this stuff is "luck of the draw," coincidence, who you know,
who you meet at what point in your life. Things happen, other things
don't happen, and one day you wake up and ask yourself, "How did I wind
up like this?"

A lady on the street saw me giving him some money one day, and she
walked up to me and whispered, "You really shouldn't be helping these
bums. You know whatever you give him, he'll just go spend on booze."

And I thought about that. And I'm about as vehemently anti-alcohol as
you can get and still live in this country, but I finally decided, in
the long run, I don't care what he spends it on. If he uses it to get
himself drunk, well, as long as being drunk gives him some pleasure,
some relief, some rest, some peace of mind, then I'm OK with it.

Because I'm in no position to judge. He's who he is, and I don't know
his life, his history, his tragedies and triumphs. All I know is the man
I see today, and that man needs a little help.

I'm not in a position to put him in a clinic, to pay for a kidney
transplant, to buy him a shiny new house in Flossmoor. But maybe I can
do something to make his day a little brighter on occasion.

Hey, once in awhile we all need a little help....

THERE SHOULD BE MORE PEOPLE LIKE YOU.. RIGHT ON..WE ALL SHOULD DO OUR
PART IN HELPING OUT EACH OTHER..

Ohhh Lex there is nothing wrong with the way we see fit to help someone
out myself I have stopped when I see a woman walking away from a car
knowing it broke down and offer them a ride to where they need to go
have offered to jump other vechicles off when I had my truck and when I
was offered money just told them the next time they seen someone in the
same situation to think about this time and return the favor. Does not
matter if it is only a smile you give another you know it touched them
in one way or another. I give to certain ones once in a while I don't
only do it for them but it gives me a good feeling knowing it might have
brought a smile to there face a simple thank you is all that is needed
to give back and a smile for smiles do spread and make us feel warm
inside. Keep on keeping on with what every you do does not matter what
others think just what we know.

the old saying......GOD works in strange ways. Think about it.

gotta go with what feels right to you.Have herd of the ones that have
boo coo bucks and do that too.I personally like to help accident or
weather broken ppl since you know they are ppl that are honestly
trying.They just got bombed with bad circumstance's.A person waving a
cup from a park bench is not honestly trying to me.

bill...you dont know the circumstances behind his issues. Dont be so
quick to judge.

not judging him.just saying i gotta go with what life has taught me as
you do.its not like i haven't put money in a cup or hat before eather.My
statement wasn't about him but more in general or over all.Lots waving a
hat or cup are not giving honist effort to me.

pay it forward

Lex you are a truly wonderful, kind, compassionate and caring person.
It is often the little things that we do almost out of hand for people
that mean the most.

Lex,
I think you help this one man because he is different from all the rest.
His quiet dignity in such sad circumstances would draw me to him also.
And like you said, if things were different it could be us out there. He
probably has a lot of stories he could tell and we will never know what
hell he has been through or what it is like for him now.
Thank you for helping him.
hugz
BlushingAngel

Thanks, everybody. I guess the point of the whole thing is that all of
us are going to be, or have been, in a situation where we need to reach
out and ask for some help. And that's OK. I have yet to meet anyone
who can handle every situation in their life all by themselves....

Lex,,, You are an Incredible, Kindhearted person,, As so well stated my
kntrygal: Pay it forward ,, the world would be a better
place.....

Lex..if it feels right to you then keep doing it, there is nothing wrong
with helping out your fellow man..in fact more should do it.

hey lex? i had a simular situation.... was in seattle downtown when i
lived there.. there was one guy that sounds like that too. for i was
intriged.. he never talked much either but alwways had pleasent eyes..
and was so polite too like u say.. well he sat in same spot too. finally
one day i asked him if he was hungry.. he said yes.. so instead <since
it was next to a food booth> i bought him lunch not only him but me too
we sat on the bench and he talked with so much appreciation. as we ate
lunch together. i never saw the man open up so much. and dont think he
would of ..if one person would just stop to take a moment to of treated
him like a human being<like he was> seemed to meant alot to the guy. he
will probabaly always carry that memorie with him. as that person who
took the time with him. <at least i hope> lol

On the front page of the Tribune there was a whole thing on the homeless
in LA the man that they had pictured had been on the streets for 10yrs.
doesn't get his SSI for a couple more. He works at the church & soup
kitchen everyday...It's so sad some of these people, that haven't gotten
a break in life.
Then the is a guy that holds up a sign at one of the Fwy off ramps
that one day we saw him go thru the field & get in a new ford pick up &
drive away...
you just follow your heart...Share when it feels right to you.

oh and btw lex what a touching post to me ty vm

dammm lex that was really something, your right, everyone needs help now
and then, and if we start to think about what they going to do with that
help, we wont do it, and it really doesn't matter what they are going to
do, you just do it because is the right thing to do!!!

I go with my gut, if it feels right then I help out, I have given money
to help people pay for groceries who were short money in line ahead of
me at the store so they wouldn't have to put food back. I have given to
some people on the street but don't have many here where I live, some
musicians with hats out for money, but no real 'beggars'. Like Catch
said though, did see a guy in Spokane once, who had been on a street
corner, saw him there pretty much daily, I happened to be going around
the corner one day and got stopped at a light. Saw him walk down the
block, hop on a motorcycle, drive it down a few blocks and load it on a
trailer behind a big fancy motorhome and then climb in the motorhome and
drive away.

So, I go with my gut, if it feels like they are real, I will help. But
you can never tell.

I live on the road and have had my share of cons and rip-off pps and
hookers and street pps, all hit me up for some money,
I have been giving who ever hits me up, a dollar, just a dollar,
to them all or just one, but she could be a druggie a hooker he could be
a drunk,
It all comes down to what YOU said Lex.
If I can't spare a buck to anyone who might really need it then im not
doing my living right,
I know to damm well, that I could easyly be "THEM" tomorrow!
Or 10 years from now???

Iam -- I see so many other people walk past this man, as he's sitting
there, and they either act like he doesn't exist, or they give him a
dirty look and walk over to the farthest part of the sidewalk, like he's
radioactive or something.

I see these artificial, arbitrary distinctions these people are making
in their own heads -- and I'm not saying everybody who walks by should
give him some money (it's a really busy area, the train station is just
around the corner, which shows that this guy still has enough smarts to
pick out a good spot; and if everybody gave him money, he could retire
in a month), but they don't have to act like he's some kind of vicious
animal fresh out of the forest.

I mean, it could be anybody -- me, you, my uncle, I don't know. Things
happen. How can I say that WON'T be me in 10 years? You never know.
"Do unto others...." It makes sense. Life really beats up on some
people. But it doesn't mean they're less human. Maybe they made some
bad choices, maybe it was luck of the draw.

To help out, even if it's just a little bit, is better than not helping
at all....I will always believe that....