I'm crumbling, dying inside
Visualize my heart crystalizing
and drying up,
blood red, maroon. Tinged with with powdery white edges.

Your deceit sucks the lifeblood from my veins
No more oxygen left
to keep hope alive
expiring, dead - on the cold pavement called my life.

In the beginning, innocence and purity
Joy and abandon
Youth at its tender best,
like the delicate calla lily

Soon, oh too soon,
the blood of blight - of our grace,
dark drops stain that fragile lily

All is gone. Lost forever.
Because of the "novelty of it all".
I had to ask him....was it worth it. Is it still?

People and years blend into each other.
Who was who, what was what.
It doesn't really matter.
Does it.

Pain only remains
in the place that once was ours
and ours alone

Firey passion, love spirit fierce
gone in the blink of an eye
a batted eyelash....or two

For what?
Novelty, an ego boost, Posterity?

Yes, I know it feels good
to be flashed a beautiful white smile
touch silky, new hair
hear a different laugh

feel a different body under yours....

The tears fall freely down my cheek, snot runs from my nose
Knot in my throat,eyes rimmed red
hands shake

like I'm an addict in withdrawals....

This wasn't what I ever wanted for me. For you. For our family.

Took it. Made it what it was.
At least
my part in it all
.....Heartbreak, desperation

Fierce spirit broken
Inside, yet - the spine is always made of steel

She goes on. I go on.

You came into my life. Strong, different, comforting.
A stranger with no face. A voice in the night.
Love and belonging.
We couldn't get enough of each other.
A love affair that spanned years.
Love affair with a stranger.

But one who knows my soul, mind, body, and heart
more than anyone before and anyone yet to come....
if I ever let that happen.
Again.

Tears flow freely. Choking.
Choking on my breath.
Great gasps of air.

Thinking about all the losses, all the love lost in my life.

I let it happen. Cared too much. Feared too much.

Trusted, risked - gave you up for him.
Promises, facade of what I needed.
Faith and hope are gone.
No one to revive them.

Not even me this time.

Assurances. Promises. Assertions of fidelity.
Your love. Your passion. Your loyalty.

Was it? Is it? Time will tell.

Man who doesn't speak....

Meanwhile, the heart crumbles and
the spirit of what once was
....fades.

here.
i found a circle of stones.
polished smooth by many centuries of winter snowmelt
summer rainstorms
they delineate
inside out
a layer of gray ash
no smoke
found a stick
and poke among the dead debris
absentmindedly tracing
graceful curves and sweeping furrows
digging deeper
the stick end warm
there are embers
lying low
yet warm and still
infused with their own purpose
and desire
fading,
still..

"Tears flow freely..."




Often, therein lies our healing

It can prevent the heart from crystallizing into hardness so that it remains supple

Thank you.

There is a lot of pain in your poem Mike, all I can say is stay as strong as possible, in the mean time if you need to talk you have friends here..

The author is angelfire - angelindarkness.


And, thank you.

Ok, I was unaware of that, and you are welcome..

Very heart felt, lots of emotion in this one.

Thanks for sharing.

"i remember"

very heartfelt

First love

First Marriage

Misguided Loves in Between; One, Life Changing.

Too Much Loss. Grief Unresolved~

brings addictive love

Stand Still.

Hope. False

Tender Love, Beginnings of....

but lost.

His pain - addiction

Accepting that I had no control

because

I didn't cause it.

I couldn't cure it.

What's next?

Heal

....myself.