When I started dabbling with internet dating sites back in the late
1930s or so, there was this terrible stigma attached to using such a
non-traditional method of trying to meet someone. Most people more or
less automatically assumed anything having to do with the internet was
either sex-related or nerd-related. Over the years, I’ve noticed that
the stigma has dissipated somewhat, but has not been entirely
eradicated.

In my experience, many people have simply become more comfortable with
the idea, as more and more of them try it, and the whole concept becomes
“mainstreamed.” But there are still those who remain skeptical, even
downright accusatory.

The naysayers seem to fall into a few distinct categories: those who
have never become computer-literate (who therefore know nothing about
internet dating other than the horrible monthly news reports about the
latest disaster perpetrated by someone on MySpace – let’s face it, if
MySpace has 100 million members, and 6 of them do bad things, those 6
are the ones we’re going to hear about); those who are familiar with the
internet but have never looked into the dating sites, for whatever
reason (married, or celibate [sometimes the same thing], or too wrapped
up in online Tetris, or whatever); and those who have tried internet
dating and had such bad experiences that they now consider it a greater
evil than that “New Coke” fiasco they tried to pawn off on us a few
years back.

The first girl I met on a dating site seemed very nice, very
intelligent, and fun – when we met, she revealed to me that her hobby
was starting fires in hotel rooms. Oooops, sorry, I think I hear my
llama calling, I gotta go....

But I didn’t see her as being representative of everybody on every site,
well maybe the ones on ArsonDate.com, but probably not anywhere else.
Everybody is different, allegedly, and overgeneralizing can cause you to
miss out on some good people.

So, my question is: Do you think there’s still a stigma wrapped around
the whole on-line dating thing? Is it getting any better, are people in
general more accepting now? Do you think the perception of a site like
JSH, where people actually do meet and start real-life relationships, is
different from a site that is blatantly more sex-driven
(AdultLlamaFinder.com)?

OK, that’s more than one question....

I think cyber meetings are becoming more accepted. As our society has
gottten so busy, we can now meet fromthe saftey of our caves. We can be
unseen faces or somebody else's face. We can be rude & not be held
accountable. We can be aggressive, yet untouchable. We can be anything
we want, no real risk.

I chose to be upfront, polite & me. Everyone else choses what they
want. We sift it all out & get what is the result. We get what we put
in.

Hummmm well I have just in the last year gotton on the dating sites to
meet others actually the first guy I meet online was not on a dating
site but on a game site were I was going just to play the games and talk
meet him and we had a relantionship for a little over a year needless to
say it did not work out in the end.

But as far as the dating sites I have meet only a few and of those we
only went for coffee, movie or lunch only they were all pleansant meets
no weird'os or anything but just friends only. But in no way do I
compare eveyone else with the ones I have meet. As far as the different
sites this one is differnt guess cause of the forums but then never
really got on the forums of the other sites so can't really compare this
site with the other ones as far as that goes. But now the people here do
seem to be more friendly here than some I have been on and no longer on.
Here I can say I have actaully meet and made friends with alot which is
why I come back in here it is not for the dating would be nice to find
that special one but in no way is that why I come in here I like to joke
around with the guys and ladies all in fun in here it actually makes my
day to come in here and talk .

But to your question yes there is still a stigma on the online dating
and most likely will always be one. But more and more are learning that
hey this might not be a bad ideal get to really know someone talk and
ask them questions and find out there likes and dislikes seems online
others actually take the time to learn about the other one more so then
if they just meet them out right.

OS -- I agree, the safety issue is a huge plus for those who advocate
on-line dating. With all of the news items about date rape, etc.,
people are often afraid of meeting face-to-face unless it's in a public
place, or they bring friends, etc. Nobody can get at you behind your
monitor, and you can be more selective and take as much time as you
want, in getting to know someone. The inherent anonymity is sort of a
shield in itself.

I have noticed, though, that there is still a perception on the part of
some, that people who use on-line services are somehow "losers," people
who can't meet anybody "the normal way" -- which I think is incredibly
unfair, inaccurate, and short-sighted. I'll save that whole issue for
another time, though.

Txs -- Regarding the forums on other sites, I have only participated in
those on a couple of others, and I have to say JSH is infinitely better
than the rest. The other forums weren't much good for discussion, it
was more like "Insult Time" where the members did their best to be as
mean as possible to unfortunate newbies who were simply trying to ask
questions! Sort of like the on-line version of "Feed the Christians to
the Lions" or something. Not informative, not fun, either, unless
you're a sadist, maybe!

1930?

*RUNS BEHIND TNEAL AND GIVES HER A WEDGIE*

*turns around and smacks spay with my purse*

Don't you guys remember DepressionDating.com ?

I'm with Tneal - 1930?
Anyway, I'm a late bloomer in many ways. I found the on-line dating
sites as a way to meet others like me, without dating within the basic
dating pool - my friends. I have had some very strange experiences and
some very positive ones. What I have found the most curious is how many
people lie or s t r e t c h the truth. In speaking to others about
this, sometimes in a forum setting, I discovered that seemed to be the
number 1 complaint. As for me, I never set out to find my "soulmate",
"true love" or "happy ever after". I was simply interested in
networking. Making friends that might offer me a NEW dating pool, away
from the normal group I hang with. Unfortunately for me it would seem
that lesbians guard their dating pools very well and are only interested
in bringing their latest conquest to the table, like an offering. So
now I use the sites for amusement, communication and sometimes I
actually make a new friend or pen pal. Guess in the end, how you feel
about the whole experience depends on what you expected to get out of
it.

OK, OK, I exaggerated a little. It was 1942, and I was using that
secret government computer in the basement of the Field Museum that they
had there back then. Unfortunately, there were only 6 people in the
whole world who knew about computer dating at the time -- 5 men and
Mamie Eisenhower, PLUS it took about 6 weeks to punch out all the holes
in the punch cards. Eventually, it matched me up with Lon Chaney Jr.
There were still a lot of bugs to be worked out.

OK, yea - I remember punching those cards, how did I know Lon was a guy,
I was busy reading, never watched TV till Star Trek!

I could write an e-book on this... I was a late bloomer, too. In H.S. I
was much heavier, much heavier... and very insecure. I don't really know
what happened, other than I graduated and went to a College and went
wild. ;) I met the guy I lost my virginity to the first week I was
there, big mistake. So as a way to get over the heartbreak, I got online
and I met several guys all at over from all over the country, in person.
I never went to them, they always came to me. I met guys from TN,
Mississippi, MI, PA, KY and like I said, I made them come to me in IL.
I met my first fiance' online. What a mistake, what a Mama's Boy and
Mama was C-R-A-Z-Y. We were together from 1996 to Oct. 1999. Then I met
the soon to be ex (we're separated) online. We've been together since
1999. Got married in 2002. He's a cool cat, but we've grown apart. BUT
as bad as it's been, I'm still VERY MUCH PRO ONLINE DATING!

Rainbow, I agree with your premise -- I mean, you can meet bad people in
any venue, it's not strictly an on-line thing. I don't drink, so I
don't go to bars, but friends have told me some horror stories about
those places, too.

I always try to keep in mind that everybody is different -- you could
meet 10 or 20 or 1000 bad ones in a row (hopefully not), but the next
one -- ?? Well, you never know.

And I also keep in mind that the best girlfriend I ever had was someone
I met on line -- kind of by accident, really, but it still counts -- and
if she could be on a dating site, well, then, it's entirely possible
there's at least one other good one on one of these sites someplace....

Oh I know they're out there... I tend to go to website, like everyone
else I'm sure does, that are geared towards my hobbies. My big thing
right now is MMA (Mixed Martial Arts)/ UFC...I don't participate but I
have several guy friends that do it locally and I've met one man in
particular that I totally adore. We initially met at
AdultLLamafinder.com... ;) but we've since met in person and he is an
amazing guy, just stuck in a bad situation that he may never get out of.
It breaks my heart because I COULD/CAN see a future with him, but he's
just not ready for that and as far as I can tell he may never be. I've
known him 6 months...and lately it's been very trying with him. So alone
I stay... if someone liked me I wish to hell they'd tell me...there's
lots of potential here, and else where on the net... I am just waiting
for him to find me.

I feel that there is still a stigma but it is getting better accepted...
I know my opinion changed as to these online dating places.

My sister met her future husband @ E-Harmony and that got me turned
around on the whole thing.

Lantz

I don't know about E-Harmony. I just don't think that a site like that
is full proof.

I saw that eHarmony commercial on TV last summer, they were offering
their 29-point free personality profile, so I tried it and they said I
was unmatchable. I was so traumatized that I actually wrote a test for
OKCupid about it.

Funny, they said that about me too...

But eHarmony claims that 20% of the people who take their matching test
are "unmatchable." Later I heard that it's owned by a super
fundamendalist religious type, and that they don't want heathens using
their website. I don't know, could be true. Also, I heard they were
overcharging some of their members, using credit card info to take money
from people who had already canceled their memberships, stuff like that.
I heard True is REALLY bad with that kind of thing, so I never even
messed with them.