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| Topic: Doing nothing wrong at all. | |
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Okay.... I normally don't post a new topic in this part of the site I need to know something and want some input on a situation:
I fell for my one friend; plain and simple. There has been this some sort of a connection with the two of us and we've hung out and such, and mind you she has a boyfriend. For awhile now she's been saying how her bf doesn't do anything right and how she's always unhappy. Also I'm good friends with her cousin so if ya know, her cousin will tell me something important off to the side of different situations. So lately her cousin has been telling me about how my friend, let's call her Jane, likes me so much and is starting to fall for me. How she likes everything about me and ya know, stuff like that. So after admitting to eachother how we feel towards one another "jane" tells me she's going to breakup with her bf in the near future, just wants to do it slowly so he won't be hurt as much in the end and how we'll date. We've kissed before. She spent the night before (no sex, just cuddling) and I never ever saw how beautiful one person can be with just being themselves. We hang out a lot and such now but yesterday she wanted to see me for awhile and I had already made plans with my best friend whom I only see on weekends because he doesn't live here. I told her I wanted to just hang with Dave because I thought he wanted it to be only me and him kind of thing. So I go and visit her for like, 30 minutes before I left with Dave because, ya know, I'd miss her. So here on the way to the beach Dave invited two other girls without letting me know before hand and so the four of us went for a little bit. Last night Jane asks me who all went to the beach and I told her the truth, I'm not going to lie to anyone. I explained how I didnt' know two other girls would be joining us and such, mind you she still has a bf so I'm TECHNICALLY single, and she got mad at me and thinks I ditched her. And now She won't talk to me because of this. Am I insane for thinking I did nothing wrong? I mean.... wtf should I do? Input, please people, I fell hard for this girl... too hard. 
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You did nothing wrong but I can see how she would feel the way she does.
If she is your friend, the two of you will work through it. |
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Well, I can see how she might feel that way. There are people, I'm not saying you are one of them, but there are men who would lie about the fact that they didn't know the other girls would be there.
If she is your good good friend, I'm guessing she knows you pretty well by now and should believe you. Go back and explain again. Women just want to feel they matter the most, that's all. And to say you're going out with a guy friend, and it end up being a four-some probably hurt. |
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Ask her what she would have wanted you to do.
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She's obviously feeling insecure and, of course, has no say on your time other than as a friend. You haven't done anything wrong.
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I mean I didn't even flirt with any of the two girls that came with us. I played Frisbee with my buddy while the two girls just talked the whole time to eachother. All I did was think about "jane" and how much I missed her.
She won't even talk when I call.... she just listens. Advice on that? |
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i think you did nothing wrong. its okay for her to hang out with her boyfriend all the time and you cant hang out with girls. i mean if i was in your situation i wouldnt even want to date her. if she gets upset about that and you guys arent even dating yet then think about how shell be when you two are.
and, dont you think if shes breaking up with her boyfriend for you, she would break up with you for someone else. |
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IMO kissing and cuddling are cheating.
If they'll cheat with. They'll cheat on you. Take it slow 
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First off, you did nothing wrong. You did get thrust into an uncomfortable situation though. Did you explain to the girls your friend brought along what your situation was? Maybe they could talk Jane for you and let her know nothing happened. I'm not sure why Jane is reacting like she is, but perhaps she has been cheated on similarly in the past. Unfortunately you may have to wait a while until she is ready to talk to anyone about it before you can deal with it. Your best bet for now is to talk to he cousin and get her input. I know what it's like to fall hard for someone, I hope it all works out for you. Good luck.
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I mean I didn't even flirt with any of the two girls that came with us. I played Frisbee with my buddy while the two girls just talked the whole time to eachother. All I did was think about "jane" and how much I missed her. She won't even talk when I call.... she just listens. Advice on that? Give her time to cool off. She will be far more rational then. Sometimes women just want to be mad.. and trying to talk to her will only make it worse. |
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She has a BF, enjoy being single, until you are committed to her and she is too you TOTALLY, don't worry about it, she has no right to be mad at you when she still has a BF. You need to remind her of that....
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I'm just afraid she won't break up with her bf now...
I wanna make her mine, ya know? I have never admitted to any of my previous gf's that I fallen for them. This girl has cast something on me and I don't know what it is yet, but whenever I look into her eyes I just see hope.... I see something special. And no, I didn't tell the girls that but I'm sure they got a hint when I didn't flirt with them. |
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I as against cheating as anybody BUT I'm not seeing this as cheating. I must say I don't know why she feels the need to SLOWLY break up with him...just do it. But if she's been unhappy for a while and is ending it anyway.....
No you didn't do anything wrong, taking your word on that. Things like that happen all of the time that look like more than they are. If she is at least willing to listen, keep trying. |
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I'm just afraid she won't break up with her bf now... I wanna make her mine, ya know? I have never admitted to any of my previous gf's that I fallen for them. This girl has cast something on me and I don't know what it is yet, but whenever I look into her eyes I just see hope.... I see something special. And no, I didn't tell the girls that but I'm sure they got a hint when I didn't flirt with them. Well, if it something special and she cares about you, then it will all work out..... You will get you answer in time, by her actions |
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Stop calling her!!!!!!!! you already explained the situation,,,,,,,she's just playing with you feelings,,,,,,maybe she likes to manipulate poeple and situations!!!!!!!! better kick the tires before you buy into her sh*t,,,,,,,
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Edited by
TheShadow
on
Sun 06/08/08 05:59 PM
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Okay.... I normally don't post a new topic in this part of the site I need to know something and want some input on a situation: I fell for my one friend; plain and simple. There has been this some sort of a connection with the two of us and we've hung out and such, and mind you she has a boyfriend. For awhile now she's been saying how her bf doesn't do anything right and how she's always unhappy. Also I'm good friends with her cousin so if ya know, her cousin will tell me something important off to the side of different situations. So lately her cousin has been telling me about how my friend, let's call her Jane, likes me so much and is starting to fall for me. How she likes everything about me and ya know, stuff like that. So after admitting to eachother how we feel towards one another "jane" tells me she's going to breakup with her bf in the near future, just wants to do it slowly so he won't be hurt as much in the end and how we'll date. We've kissed before. She spent the night before (no sex, just cuddling) and I never ever saw how beautiful one person can be with just being themselves. We hang out a lot and such now but yesterday she wanted to see me for awhile and I had already made plans with my best friend whom I only see on weekends because he doesn't live here. I told her I wanted to just hang with Dave because I thought he wanted it to be only me and him kind of thing. So I go and visit her for like, 30 minutes before I left with Dave because, ya know, I'd miss her. So here on the way to the beach Dave invited two other girls without letting me know before hand and so the four of us went for a little bit. Last night Jane asks me who all went to the beach and I told her the truth, I'm not going to lie to anyone. I explained how I didnt' know two other girls would be joining us and such, mind you she still has a bf so I'm TECHNICALLY single, and she got mad at me and thinks I ditched her. And now She won't talk to me because of this. Am I insane for thinking I did nothing wrong? I mean.... wtf should I do? Input, please people, I fell hard for this girl... too hard. I hate to be the bad guy  One thing i have learnd in life is never put myself in between a couple. If the other is starting to feel for you and you both admit to each other and you kissed her. To me that is wrong knowing she is still involved with someone. Any time somone jumps from one relationship to another and knowing the one has not heald from the one that just left. Your asking for trouble and fals feelings. it shows already she doesn't realy know what she wants or she would have left him a long time ago. And the part about taking it slow  Sorry to laugh, but you both will just jump right into to it and you know this to be true. If didn't you wouldn't be asking for our opinions on this whole thing. Anyone telling you it's ok do do what your doing. To me that tells me that thay haven't really grown from there past experiences. If you want to be a true friend, make her see what is really ahead on this road. But i bet you anything she wont! People don't like reality. They like fantasy and most will run with that and thats where most go wrong. The truth is. You can't help her, she has to do this on her own and the thing is. She wont. She will use you to get through this and say to herself it's ok when it's not and thats because she will not be honest with herslf and wont deal with her feelings. If that is what you want. Then play with it. But if you want her to be with you for you. Then be tough on her and make her see the reality of this.
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I mean when I told her cousin that my one friend started talking to me again and admitted she liked me I guess Jane got very jealous.
I mean even got a number at bar from some random girl, without trying, and I didn't care because I care about her too much. |
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Edited by
TheShadow
on
Sun 06/08/08 06:11 PM
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I mean when I told her cousin that my one friend started talking to me again and admitted she liked me I guess Jane got very jealous. I mean even got a number at bar from some random girl, without trying, and I didn't care because I care about her too much. Play at your own risk
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....there's something special about her....
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....there's something special about her.... their all special brother!!!!!!!! 
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