once a cheat always a cheat is not always true I know that for a fact.
There are reasons for a cheating circumstance and if all the triggers
fall in place then yes, now sometimes yes if he/she is a player.

at the same time though I must say no matter the lists you have if he's
cheating then dump him all the good he does will not make up for that

So Fedman...you think that if a person cheats once that they it might
just be a one time thing? HMMM I really don't know about that...don't
you think it would be really hard to trust someone that even cheated
once?

That would be an interesting "Stat" to find: What percentage of
"Cheaters" have only cheated once?

When I was in the Navy, I know a LOT of Cheaters (most of which were
repeat offenders.... Sorry, I can't think of an exception so ALL were
repeat offenders that I knew).

Interesting factoid, On an Aircraft Carrier that held over 5,000 Sailors
over HALF caught an STD in the Philippieans (back in 1984)

omg your kidding sluggo..about the factoid..my oldest brother was in the
navy, stationed in the phillipines at that time..

maybe i could see someone cheating once and then really regretting it,
feeling guilty, etc..


what about counseling? can someone get treatment and stop cheating?

I'd guess it's possible but if I'm right treatment involves just making
the person aware of the problem an helping them "Deal" with it (which I
believe means that's they'll still want to do it but they are just be
able to resist temptation)

Sorry to butt in but in my experience once a cheat always a cheat..

LMAO...Ok it's settled (the 3 of us agree)

I been through it 3 too many times...

I've only read the first thing posted, none of the replies, but I went
through the same BS with my baby-momma, and it freakin sucks. I ended up
gettin drunk all the time and smokin hellacious amounts of weed to try
to cope, but I realized too late that that ain't the way to go. Friends
and family are the things that will help ya through it. Sometimes I
would blame myself and wonder what I did wrong, but I know now it had
nothin to do with me. Some people just have a problem keepin their pants
on and sayin no when gettin hit on. Keep your head up, cuz you deserve
someone to treat you with respect and honesty, and someone that sleeps
around on ya doesn't respect you.

Saturday morning I got up early, put on my long johns, it was the
winter, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly
into the garage to hook the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back
out into a torrential downpour.

There was snow mixed with rain and the wind was blowing at least 50 mph.
I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that
the weather would be like that all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into
bed. There I cuddled up to the lovely lady who was still there, with a
very different anticipation, and whispered to her, "The weather out
there is terrible."

She sleepily replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing
in that ****?"

Hey tretia...
I lived with a cheater for 13 years. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
My escuse for taking him back all the time, was that i had to cause he
was the kids father. The kids needed him. How stupid i was. My kids were
9 and 10 when i finaly decided that enough was enough, and they never
missed him, he was hardly around when we were together anyways.
Everytime i think back on those years, i could kick myself. He passed
away 2 years ago and i went to his funerals (again) because he was the
kid's father, but beleive me, i never shed a tear.

Oh yeah, that makes perfect sense... "He turns on Dr. Phil for me even
when he doesn't like it" That's the lamest excuse I ever heard.... And I
am probably the ONLY guy in this topic that ISN'T trying to get in your
pants.... Let's see, by this logic, cheating is acceptable as long as
your girly whims are satisfied. You know why he caters to you?? Because
you've proven to him that as long as he plays along and does all those
nice little oh so sensitive things with you, then you will keep making
excuses for his behaviour. I'm not going to fault the guy or talk ****
on him for being the type that likes variety, me being a single dude by
choice, I agree with him. I LOVE VARIETY, that's why I don't get into
relationships. However, if he's lying to you, that should NOT be
tolerated. You can't exactly call it a RELATE-ionship if he feels he
can't let you know what's going on. Here's the bottom line, since you
posted this topic, this subject is obviously taking it's toll on you and
you NEED to get out.... Why do you NEED someone to be there to turn on
Dr. Phil.... It's okay to love someone, but never stop loving yourself
(and I would appreciate no pervy comments from the peanus gallery) You
started this topic Tretia, I say you finish it by standing up for
yourself and stop settling. And as for disrespect.... catering to you or
not... if homeboy is lying to you.... that's the worse kind of
disrespect there is, you know why?? Because you will never be able to
make an educated decision without knowing all the facts, and I wouldn't
tolerate it... Love or no.

thank you for your honesty n8...i can take the heat..lol

JUST THINK OF IT AS THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPEN BABE,YOU WILL BE
FINE.TRUST MEEEEEEE

oh and one other thing tretia, comes the day and time that you do dump
him, which i hope is soon. you will now look at every guy in the same
way, it's not fair but it is human nature. that thought is always going
to be in the back of your mind even if you meet mr. perfect. he could be
running late for anything and here comes all those crazy a** thoughts
about him, when he has nothing to do with it.

thank you, devin :)

and slow, u r so right..sitting here, i am of course in absolutely NO
HURRY to get into a serious relationship at this time..but i cant help
but wonder, how will i know if the next man is faithful? how will trust,
again..

well, one thing is for certain..i will look for red flags..for example
some of the guys that email me, here or im me (not all of you!!) but
some, i can tell they are lying, right away..about age, etc..they come
on way too strong..red flags

No hurry to get into a relationship?!? That's the best way... Let
yourself heal... Forgiveness if I was a little harsh, It just plagues me
when this happens... Luckily for girls that I ever fully decided to be
in a "Relationship" with, I have never been a cheater.. It makes no
sense to me and I wouldn't want it done to me, even though I'm sure it
has :) Family and Friends are the best bet to help you get through it
and when they aren't around.... STAY BUSY. Stay positive too :) There
are too many nice guys out there and there is too much beauty in the
world to dwell on the negative. Stay single for as long as you can. Get
lovin when you need it, and gaurd your heart. It will take some time to
heal, but when you do, you will be much happier and your mind can rest a
little easier :) Either way, keep your head up and keep on smiling.....
Exes and Owes Kid!!! :)

It's the worst when you are the one that gets dumped if that
happens,been there enough myself unfortunately but sometimes I just
break down and let it out. But music and other hobbies help but it takes
a while to get thru the pain. If you have good friends and I mean the
ones that actually give a f**k then they will help u but it still takes
a while if u ask me especially if u really liked the person a lot.