I have been talking to these two great guys and really like them both a
LOT. But they are complete opposites. One is willing to give me space
when I am sad and the other wants to be righ there. One is a country boy
and the other is a city boy.

The Country boy is the one that is willing to give me space. He wants a
family but he is just getting out of a marrage. He writes me poems when
he is at work wants to know what I am thinking and he show that he cares
about my daughter. He wants to get to know more about me and my life and
just seems to want to excperiance things with me.

The city boy has been there since day one. Calls me if I am upset. We
joke around. He wants to make my life better. But is not sure how. He is
always worried about me and thinks about me when we do not talk. Takes
pictures of diffrent places around New York just because he thinks I
might like it. We share a lot of the same intrestes. But is not very
excpresive with his feelings.

I just do not know what to do. Any advice would be great. I have tried
following my heart but my heart just seems to get more and more
confused. I am Despratly trying to seek an ansewr. So any help would be
great. Thanks.

i think if u are just talking to them that is ok... talk some more to
both of them with time u may figure it out? hope that helps

oh there should be no rush for your decisions cause your decisions are
important

I should have mentioned I have been talking to both of them for over
year now.

my answer still would be the same though if u are unsure that is not the
time to move on it

Thank you Buttons

your very welcome.. but only ones point of view nice to have more......
anybody else?

Well that is bad place you put yourself in if you are developing
feelings for both them. Now if they are just friends, and you are
talking to them, there is nothing wrong with having two wonderful guys
as friends. However, if feelings are involved, it is time to reassess
what is it that you want and need. You make sure they are not developing
feeling for you too. You don’t want to hurt them.

Good luck!

That is just the thing. They both have feelings for me. And I don't want
to hurt any one of them.

but u never met them before right?

in person?

from a guys perspective,... just be up front.. IF they are your friends
like they say they are.... then it is ultimately up to you to be your
own guide ..DON'T play one off the other like a roulette wheel game ..
just be yourself, be open , be honest... might take it slowly when you
start to open up to the 2 of them but in the end its all about YOUR
feelings and what you think is right for you .. OK ?..
oh and good luck with that ... :)

This is one reason I never talk to more than one man at a time. (I mean,
to the extent that this scenario has apparently gotten to).

I don't think it's fair to anyone involved (myself especially) to put
anyone into such an ambiguous situation as that.

If I'm interested in a guy, I'll try to find out if that relationship is
going to develop before I'll move on to the next one.

Thank you Twotallone

And Jean it was not somehing I planed It is something that just happend.
We all just started off as just friend. And there is nothing wrong with
having frends is there? Well now it has developed in to more then just
that. That is why I am confused.

i always tell if i am talking to more than one person on here . if u
have never met either in person then u are just friends and yes u should
tell them that u talk on here to more than one. after all ya gotta be
friends first.if they cant accept that u are friends with someone else
too then perhaps they are possesive. and that might be the answer to
your questions then.. if that happens.but i agree with tto should of let
them know <if ya havent already> in the begining im sure it must of come
up by now? gl

Trust me I have made sure to both of them that I like another person as
well. As I said I wanted to be honest and not hurt anybody.

then i dont see a problem with talking to both of them. perhaps go meet
one or both? your feelings may change.ya may realize u just like them
for a friend only?

DUMP THEM BOTH-if after a yr..you haven't figured it out,...you
wont.Don't look for a man to take care of you..I see some pity in your
writings..thats making you weak...stop with the two of them.
The guy thats just coming out of a marriage that's a red flag right
there. he needs at least two years of alone time. The city guy..after a
year!!..dump them both.

And Jean it was not somehing I planed It is something that just happend.
We all just started off as just friend. And there is nothing wrong with
having frends is there? Well now it has developed in to more then just
that. That is why I am confused.

Of course there's nothing wrong with having friends. I talk to a number
of different men who are just friends. But I'm talking right now to one
man who I hope has the potential to develop into something more than
that. There's no chance that anything else will develop with any of the
rest of the guys I'm talking to. Why? Because I won't allow it to.
Things like that don't "just happen"...you have control over where you
allow your emotions to go.

Having said that, I can see where a person can "really like" more than
one guy/girl at a time, but...for me, anyway, I can't see where I'd ever
be "torn" over which one I liked the "most." There is a DEFINITE "line
of demarcation," if you will, regarding my romantic feelings for a man
and I could never share those feelings with more than one man at a time.
Being monagamous is just "in my blood," I guess.

But I definitely agree that the guy who's just going through a divorce
doesn't need to get into a relationship right now (and probably doesn't
"want" to -- whether he realizes it now or not).

Doesn't mean I'd necessarily choose what's "behind Door No. 2," either.
Only you know how deep your feelings are for either one of these guys.
IMHO, if you're in doubt, you don't care enough about either one of
them, individually, to even have to worry about making a choice right
now.

I

I am not looking for a guy to take care of me. I have been doing that
just fine on my own for 6 years. I hid my feelings from the guy that
just got out of the marriage. He is the one that came to me and told me
how HE felt.The married guy and I have talked about the timing of things
and he say that if he could wish it had happened 6 months from now he
wouldn't want it to. He does not care about the timing he wants it now.

I have plans on meeting both just not too sure when.