Mike was going to be married to Karen soon so his father sat him down
for a little chat. He said, "Mike, let me tell you something. On my
wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants, handed them
to your mother, and said, "Here - try these on". She did and said,
"These are too big. I can't wear them."
I replied, "Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will."
Ever since that night, we have never had any problems.

"Hmmm," said Mike. He thought that might be a good thing to try. On his
honeymoon, Mike took off his pants and said to Karen "Here - try these
on." She tried them on and said, "These are too large. They don't fit
me". Mike said, "Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always
will. I don't want you to ever forget that."

Then Karen took off her pants and handed them to Mike. She said, "Here -
you try on mine." He did and said, "I can't get into your pants."
Karen said, "Exactly. And if you don't change your smart-ass attitude,
you never will."