I think many people handicap themselves when he or she focuses their life on "finding that special someone". There is a trick to the whole dating routine. Stop looking. Focuse your time and energy on your own life. Do whatever makes you happy. Do those things for yourself that you always seem to put off. You will all be amazed at how your life changes. People will actually start pursuing you.

It works like this. Confidence and motivation is attractive whether you are a man or a woman. You have to earn confidence through achievements. And motivation enables you to achieve.

Also: Studies have proven time and time again that people are attracted to positive attitudes and senses of well being. Meaning, having a positive outlook on life, and a sense of well being is extremely important. When you have this positive outlook a funny thing happens... YOU SMILE MORE!!! Smiling is the one thing that actually adds to your physical attractiveness, whether or not you like your smile. So my advice to all the ladies without pics of themselves smiling should put some up. You say you are fun-loving, prove it.

To all those that don't believe me,test this theory. Not on yourself, but on other people. Hell, just look at profile pics. You will find the people that seem happier also seem more attractive.

I think you make a lot of sense. I hope you helped her and you did it in a nice way too

I want to thank everyone for the replies you have all offered. They all seem to make sense. See, ever since my divorce, I have been searching furiously for someone to take the place that my ex had. I even had a FWB for a while. I know that I do not want another doomed relationship like my marriage was, so I am willing to "give up on guys" for the time being and start my art work again and possibly my writing that i gave up both of when I married. So, I will be needing support from all my friends here.
As for the folks who have stated that I am homely; that is ok. I am fully aware of the fact that I am not nor will I ever be gorgeous. I have accepted that fact years ago.
Once again thanks to everyone's responses.

Suicidal self-pity is an option, but there are alternatives. If your profile states who you are, that is good enough, but I don't recommend just sitting idle waiting for someone here to jump on you. Get hobbies, discover yourself again, and most importantly, get outside that house you're in and go live a life. Sometimes it is a real struggle to be happy, and that's just a fact. You wont get any happier feeling sorry for yourself, and if you do nothing, you'll continue to feel that way. Another issue that can sometimes crop up in marriages is lazyness. I know I myself became a bit complacent, not growing in areas I could have, and every one of us here has defects that could use some work, except for itsmetina, who probably just hides them better than most. Pain is the greatest motivator of all for self-improvement. Embrace it. Use it to better yourself.

Acknowledge also that feeling unlovable is very common at least briefly after a seperation. Getting stuck in that feeling isn't healthy, and as time passes, actively seeking out activities that provide happiness usually fill that space where another person used to be. Eventually, and after more time passes, we generally find someone who fits into our life, but rarely is it healthy if we're stuck on how unattractive we feel, and if we're not careful, we also get caught in the familiar trap of settling for something less, to fill that loneliness that we should have been filling ourselves.

Driven always makes sense to me....I would add that perhaps your true beauty, that inner you that maybe is harder to see on the internet would come out in a real life meeting....i would suggest that you get involved with something that interests you & will allow you to meet people....For example, this summer I'm planning on taking both cooking classes & dance classes....both of which i have an interest & figure to meet some real live people....good luck!

Absolutely correct. It took me a few months of posting in the forums before I got noticed around here, but once I did, well, I started getting some e-mails. And still do....

For me, though, the thing I had to come to grips with was that I simply wasn't going to find the person I wanted on any dating site. I had to delve into "real life" once more....

But some of my friends have found "the one" here -- so it can happen. But people have to see you, and get to know you. It's hard to generate much attention here if nobody knows you exist!

You are totally entitled to express and share your feelings.

Let's start by not putting so much focus on finding a partner but of finding happiness. In any shape or form; could be a friend, hobby, family, helping a stranger, etc.

Stop stressing on things 'you' cannot control, and enjoy the things you can.

Remain positive regardless of the hand you are dealt. Negative vibes normally only multiply and obscure any positive vibes you may have.

Good luck
Frances

hes fibbing!!! he was the nicest blue box ya ever met im sure people noticed him right away when he started posting.... for inner beauty does show on the internet for some people and he happens to be one whom has lots of that... for i noticed right away that this was a kind giving young man with substance!! and i can say this.... not a whole lot of people do i notice that from the words they speak of...

i agree.... if you post people can learn you better <or at least think they can> posting shows off your inner feelings and tells something more about you that you cant read on your profile.... how you would react to a situation... how you feel about an issue etc.... you can find common grounds that way spark someones interest that perhaps would not of been there before.... good luck and mostly just look at as making friends... then u wont be let down... for a relationship always starts as friends first . how often people forget that... if anything else you get a new friend... so that is a positive thing....

Hey, you can't help it that you're just more perceptive than everyone else in the world....!!

And that's why you were my first friend on this site....!!