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Topic: Selfishness.......
cloudedsunshine Joined Thu 05/08/08 Posts: 1375	Thu 06/05/08 11:25 AM Edited by cloudedsunshine on Thu 06/05/08 11:53 AM
Okay, little about me. I was left by my biological father, beat by my adopted father, abused by my step-father, abused beaten and roughed up by my ex husband. So now I am dating a guy, and he says "your selfish". Hello, don't I deserve to be a little selfish. I pay my way, I pay my bill, I take care of myself, is it so wrong that one month of dating mght mean I don't want to meet your friends yet? Or go to someone's wedding who I have never met? Who else has put themselves first and not regretted it.

Bornnaked Joined Sun 07/29/07 Posts: 2359	Thu 06/05/08 11:26 AM
Stay away from him.

Etrain Joined Wed 11/21/07 Posts: 19684	Thu 06/05/08 11:26 AM
which one are you???

rainysky39 Joined Sun 01/20/08 Posts: 4071	Thu 06/05/08 11:26 AM
Take it from someone who REALLY KNOWS..if he CARES ..he will understand..if not, then you have met someone wanting to control you yet again.

auburngirl Joined Fri 04/27/07 Posts: 18811	Thu 06/05/08 11:26 AM
Have you explained all of this to him?

cloudedsunshine Joined Thu 05/08/08 Posts: 1375	Thu 06/05/08 11:27 AM
which one are you??? left

Jill298 Joined Fri 11/09/07 Posts: 16316	Thu 06/05/08 11:27 AM
what was it he said you were being selfish about?

franshade Joined Tue 07/24/07 Posts: 24704	Thu 06/05/08 11:27 AM
you misunderstood him - selfish to him meant, a strong, powerful, independent woman, who knows what she wants and what she wants to do

Cambolaya65 Joined Mon 09/03/07 Posts: 5587	Thu 06/05/08 11:28 AM
Geez,you have suffered. im going to the mall and punching the first male i run into.

cloudedsunshine Joined Thu 05/08/08 Posts: 1375	Thu 06/05/08 11:28 AM
Have you explained all of this to him? Told him that right now I AM MY NUMBER ONE priority. I like him and all, but its like, he is calling me selfish, why? Because I have finally made me a priority.

cloudedsunshine Joined Thu 05/08/08 Posts: 1375	Thu 06/05/08 11:29 AM
Geez,you have suffered. im going to the mall and punching the first male i run into. no need but thanks

FaithfulOne78 Joined Mon 11/19/07 Posts: 15313	Thu 06/05/08 11:29 AM
I agree with Franshade

cloudedsunshine Joined Thu 05/08/08 Posts: 1375	Thu 06/05/08 11:30 AM
what was it he said you were being selfish about? That I wasn't ready to meet all of his friends

franshade Joined Tue 07/24/07 Posts: 24704	Thu 06/05/08 11:30 AM
I agree with Franshade {{{{faithful}}}}} and Clouded - you're doing the right thing.

cloudedsunshine Joined Thu 05/08/08 Posts: 1375	Thu 06/05/08 11:36 AM
Thanks it's just why shouldn't you be a little "selfish" in a relationship, I guess I have been walked on enough that I want to be a priority and most of the time I do let him get his way with the things he wants, watch the hockey game, started to go to the gym (it's fun with him there), meet his parents(which was a little bit of an ambush but fine), why can't i just watch the race this weekend.

cloudedsunshine Joined Thu 05/08/08 Posts: 1375	Thu 06/05/08 11:53 AM
I think that he should put forth effort.

butterflyxkisss Joined Sat 09/01/07 Posts: 12	Thu 06/05/08 02:13 PM
you're just looking out for number one.. nothing wrong with that

franshade Joined Tue 07/24/07 Posts: 24704	Fri 06/06/08 06:16 AM
I truly dont think he has to be made aware of the 'whys' just yet, unless you are that forthright. I'm not especially after a month of dating (JMO).

Goofball73 Joined Mon 11/05/07 Posts: 33913	Fri 06/06/08 06:37 AM
Okay, little about me. I was left by my biological father, beat by my adopted father, abused by my step-father, abused beaten and roughed up by my ex husband. So now I am dating a guy, and he says "your selfish". Hello, don't I deserve to be a little selfish. I pay my way, I pay my bill, I take care of myself, is it so wrong that one month of dating mght mean I don't want to meet your friends yet? Or go to someone's wedding who I have never met? Who else has put themselves first and not regretted it. Well.....at least he can voice his opinion, but hey, he puts himself first, you put yourself first.....no regrets right? Look, sounds like he might be a little bit of a control freak to me. I mean, he is showing the signs of it already. Then again, he could be just wanting you to meet his friends cause you are becoming a part of his life.

cloudedsunshine Joined Thu 05/08/08 Posts: 1375	Fri 06/06/08 07:00 AM
Okay, little about me. I was left by my biological father, beat by my adopted father, abused by my step-father, abused beaten and roughed up by my ex husband. So now I am dating a guy, and he says "your selfish". Hello, don't I deserve to be a little selfish. I pay my way, I pay my bill, I take care of myself, is it so wrong that one month of dating mght mean I don't want to meet your friends yet? Or go to someone's wedding who I have never met? Who else has put themselves first and not regretted it. Well.....at least he can voice his opinion, but hey, he puts himself first, you put yourself first.....no regrets right? Look, sounds like he might be a little bit of a control freak to me. I mean, he is showing the signs of it already. Then again, he could be just wanting you to meet his friends cause you are becoming a part of his life. That's what he said, after he said that he has fallen for me hard, and it scares him.