I have a question. I was wondering I am in a strange situation, I was married for close to 10 years. It was not the healthiest realationship. I have been seperated for 5 months now, but it seems like the black cloud has been following me around. I am struggling to get on my feet. I go from having a car and a stable place to live to no vehicle and looking for my own place. I am still working my ass off but it doesnt seem to be paying off right now. Would you take the time to get to know me? Or should I get myself together first?? I am ready to start meeting now people but I feel that I really dont have enough to offer.

You don't have enough to offer in what way??? You still have yourself and your ideals and your interests...it should have nothing to do with what you drive or where you live.

First,welcome! Hang in there,things will get better in time.Hold true to your dreams and happiness will soon follow.There's more to offer than "things"-there are alot of great people here who will except you for you!

If your marriage was not healthy, you might want to seek professional counseling. Any relationship that could be considered abusive in any form will has lasting effects. Look for a good therapist that will be able to address any underlying issues you might be experiencing.

how come it just seems when you start making positive changes in your life,..that`s when the sh** seems to hit the fan,..

almost like someone cranked up the volume,..on frustration,..

I say keep paddling through the storm,..you`ll reach the other shore,..keep strong

you should not be worried about meeting a man right now. It seems like you have enough issues and the last thing that you need right now is to add more drama to your life. Its not about having enough to offer someone else its about you learing how to stand on your own two feet comfortably and then bring someone else in the picture

You don't need material things to offer in order to start a relationship, however, you do need stability. You need a stable place to live, and you need divorce before you consider meeting new people for dating.
You can't work on a relationship until you have fixed yourself. It's a long road but it's worth it at the end.

its really hard to start over everytime you think its coming together and everything gos to ****. just be yourself and dont give up it will all come toghter, you sound like you have more days being depressed pick yourself up and move closer to you its all about you now.once you feel good about you people will want your company because you think postitive. i have been there . good luck

Are you divorced or just seperated? I believe that everyone should be divorced before jumping into any type of relationship. Then my other question is this, are you over your other relationship? If not, you really need time to heal from this past relationship before you can get into another one. I always feel like you have to heal and feel good about yourself before you can move on.
Always take time for you and get to know what you want before you jump into anything. If you feel like a black cloud is following you, then I don't think you are ready to move on. I think you should do some self-reflecting and making "you" better. I know after my divorce I didn't date for about 2 years because I wasn't ready.
Good luck

We are legally seperated, where I am at I need to be seperated a year before divorced. I am over this relationship. The black cloud I meant I got hurt at work, was out for 2 months, so that put me in situations where I lost my place to live and car. I am not looking to fall in love or anything like that at all, was just looking to meet friends.

Here is a good place. I just finalized my divorce last month and still dragging my feet. I can't speak for you, but for me I'm tryimg to get healthy again, but keep being given obstacles like finding a baby cat, visits from friends, others in need, etc. Just have fun! I do think recovery from hurt takes time. but some may differ.

get your life straight before taking on someone else's life. Here is my story. Married for close to 20 years, not the greatest of marriages, but tolerable. Hey I had two kids so I wanted them in a stable home. He decides to cheat...figures. I had gained a ton of weight (medical reasons) so I guess I was just too old and too fat for him, who knows and frankly I don't care. One thing I did know, I wasn't happy with myself, nor did I like myself. So he filed in September of last year, and it hurt but I set out to fix myself. Went to the doctor, got my health back on track, had gastric by-pass surgery, have lost 93 pounds so far, got my own car, which wasn't easy, a good settlement that will help me get on my feet, and he is out of my life. I just saw a picture the woman he left me for and all I can say is woof! She is over weight and UGLY, so I say have a great life. Anywho, the reason I am telling you this is because I had to like me before I could allow anyone else back in my life. Which I now do. I know I am a great person, I know this and now I am ready to begin again. Get you life in order, get the things you want and need first before looking for someone else. Take care of YOU! That should be your first priority, not some other man in your life. If you do this, everything else will fall into place. I know I won't be alone for long, and this time I WILL find the man of my dreams and be happy with him BY my side, not running my life. Good luck sweetie!

amen sister!

From a man's point of view, ALL YOU WOMEN ARE CORRECT!!!! Take time out for YOURSELF and get counseling if needed. I can't tell you how mutch it helped me. Good Luck.... LOOKOUT FOR #1 (YOU!!!)