Sympathy for the devil

I agree with Seahawks. I kid about my ex here in the forums but in reality I could never trash her in emails. Afterall, we share a bond that can never be broken, our son, and for him I will always have her in a special place in my heart. She is remarried and her and her husband treated my son with respect so I am cool with that.

Well, in the first thirty minutes of chatting how can you know anything about a person's personality? Anything of depth, that is.

Do you see a Band-Aid logo on my forehead?

You are both obviously gentleman. I think the past needs to stay there, and that if these sorts of truths come out, they have no place in the initiation of contact. The conversations should be about us, not our exes.

I agree completely what was the question???

I think sometimes they feel they have to convince you that they weren't the bad guy and that you should give them a chance. Wrong way to go about it though.

I am a bad guy but I'm not going to tell you ladies about it like that......

There are three sides to every story. I'd rather hear about them way later. Of course, if they trash talk in the first thirty minutes, that saves me a heck of a lot of time. Tells me a lot about them, you know?

We all hold responsibility of some sort in the ending of our relationships.

Unfortunately my ex and me parted as friends, so I talk about her a lot since we're friends. Does that bring up red flags ?

Quite the opposite.

i hate that **** too because it means they are harboring a lot of anger and who needs the drama.

I went to dinner with a guy - by the end of the evening I knew more about his ex than I did about him. He even told me about their wedding day.

I just wanted to make sure since I'm just getting back into dating(January). I was with her for 15 years.

yes,

I hear you, one of mine I knew all about both of the recent ones, names, where they worked, everything. Sigh....

I wanna know why!!! Why! ???

sorry messed up
yes

I think THEY might do it for two reasons.
One would be THEIR lack of respect for women in general!
Two, because THEY think if they SHOW you that part of their thinking process that you will see stright-up that they know how to put a lady in her place if she gets out of line,,meaning THEY want to show a perspective MATE, that THEY WEAR the pants,,lol
As for me,,at my first month of slit up,I would have been hurt and full of pain,,so I could have said alot at that time.
But now, no, my ex and I can still be nice in talking and our kids events..And name calling I just NEVER do anyway...

It depends on how they do it, if it is situational, (here are my living conditions..ie my kids live with me, or something like that) but if it's just full on (she's a b*tch) I drop those guys, they have unresolved issues, and need more time alone to simmer.

But I know I egg it on sometimes, one thing I ask is "Why are you divorced) and if they go off about it, i know they just aren't ready for me.

My ex is a simple story, we either fell out of love, or were never really in it. We have mutual respect for each other (most of the time) We compromise when it comes to our daughter, and don't talk personal stuff all that often. It makes our lives that much simpler.

but seriously lilly, the first question i would ask is,

how long have they been divorced,

anything under 2 yrs is a red flag,

Good afternoon, Miss Lily. I also ask why a person is divorced, or how long since the last relationship. I think that is a normal thing to ask... but what is not okay with me is the trashing that comes as a response.

I agree, people who are not over an ex or still have hate.... aren't ready to move on. Strong feelings, regardless of whether they are positive or negative, are still strong feelings. And that says to me there is a connection.