Long ago, in days of old,
When pigs were pink and nights were cold
Three little pigs lived with their mum
With curly tails upon their bum

One day, she shooed them out the house
‘Go!’ she said. ‘But be as quiet as a mouse!
The big bad wolf lies in wait-
He wants little pigs on his plate!

They came upon a man selling straw.
Pig number one bought more and more!
He took the itchy yellow hay
And built a house in only one day!

Pigs two and three left their brother
Came upon a peddler, then another.
Man number two was selling sticks
While pig number three was buying bricks

They all had houses by the wood
And by his house each pig was stood.
The wolf returned, one sunny day,
And saw the piggies out to play!

They saw the wolf-ran as fast as they could
Into their houses, by the wood.
The wolf crept up to the house of straw
And knocked upon its yellow door…

‘No no! I won’t let you in!
Not by the hairs on my chinny-chin-chin!’
The wolf let out a mighty roar,
And said to the pig in the house of straw:

‘I’ll huff and puff ‘til my throat is sore!
I’m stronger than your yellow door!’
The pig was scared and ran away!
Left the wolf to the house of hay!

The same happened in the house of sticks
The piggies ran to the house of bricks!
Again the wolf knocked on the door
The frightened pigs hit the floor!

The pigs were scared, the wolf was hungry
And fed up with all this skullmongery!
He climbed the chimney-up and up!
Desperately wanting a pig for his sup!

Said pig one-’you know, we ought’er
Fill a cauldron with boiling water!
We’ve gotta go as fast as we can-
Make the wolf fall in the pan!’

Down the chimney the big wolf leapt
Into the pan where hot water was kept!
The pigs were happy-together they pranced
The wolf was dead! Oh how they danced!

Long ago, in days of old,
When wolves were dead and pigs were bold
Three little pigs left their mother
To live together-brother to brother.

The Three Little Pigs - Italian Style

Once upon a time there were three little pigs. The straw pig, the stick pig and the brick pig.

One day this nasty old wolf came up to the straw pig's house and said, "I'm gonna huff and puff and blow your house down." And he did !!!

So the straw pig went running over to the stick pig's house and said, "Please let me in, the wolf just blew down my house." So the stick Pig let the straw pig in.

Just then the wolf showed up and said, "I'm gonna huff and puff and blow your house down." And he did !!!

So the straw pig and the stick pig went running over to the brick pig's house and said, "Let us in, let us in, the big bad wolf just blew our houses down!"
So the brick pig let them in just as the wolf showed up. The wolf said, "I'm gonna huff and puff and blow your house down" The straw pig and the stick pig were so scared! But the brick pig picked up the phone and made a call.

A few minutes passed and a big, black Caddy pulls up.
Out step two massive pigs in pin striped suits and fedora hats. These pigs come over to the wolf, grab him by the neck and beat the living crap out of him, then one of them pulled out a gun, stuck it in his mouth and fired, killing the wolf, then they got back into their Caddy and drove off

The straw pig and stick pig were amazed!!! "Who the hell were those guys?" they asked.

"Those were my cousins... the Guinea Pigs