oh Peccy

I'm not just spouting nonsense. What would you honestly rather have, a butt-ugly guy who's nevertheless "centered," who can walk into a new club and instantly have the most fun out of everyone there, who knows who he is, what his values and boundaries are...or the hottest man in the world, who's still living with his mother in the basement and can't hold down a job?

if those are my only 2 choices I'll stay single thanks

I disagree, I think women are more superficial than the average man. That is only true because they look past the physical appearance alone and include things like: Hows he dressed, what shoes does he have on, what kind of watch is that, what's he drive, what's his monthly take home? They all have certain levels of importance that vary from person to person, but yeah we men only act superficial. Truth is (and guys you have to admit this) we aren't that picky, we're just usually thrilled to get noticed at all.

that's not true for most women either, certainly not me.

looks are not everything but there has to be SOME attraction to each other physically. It's not shallow, it's just who we are. If you have no attraction at all to someone than it just won't work.

I didn't mean to imply that what I said about women is true. It is just a theory with no supporting data. I do aplogize, if I offended.

What I said about men, I think is true. We are just happy to be noticed.

I did say "I think" and that's not one of my strong suits.

I'm thrilled to get noticed too

I'd say i'm the same with online dating. just doesn't work for me either, so when i signed up I expected nothing just i can avoid disappointment. Besides, theres a lot of freaky people on these sites.

You have obviously studied the Venusian Arts or at least read "The Game". haha I have too but looks do matter less to women but they still matter

Wow, thank you all for your advice/insight. lol I had no idea that many people spent time in these forums. I almost had a heart attack when I looked at my topic and saw I had 69 replies! You can all feel free to drop me a line anytime- Intrepid

be patience...she will come in due time....good luck

I notice a lot of people saying to wait or be patient but I really have been...I won't even tell you how long it's been since I've had a meaningful relationship...

Haha...neither, believe it or not. Though I do know about Neil Strauss and the rest of the "Seduction Community."


Actually, I used to BE part of the "community" myself, which is where I got a lot of my insight. I realized there were some basic flaws with what they teach, though, so I've done a lot of growing and thinking and learning and watching of my own.

Yes, society and your experiences have some very specific things to say about what does and doesn't create and keep attraction. Thing is, society and experiences are very good liars. Not that it's on purpose...they just don't know any better. (Believe me, they got me too. You should have seen me two years ago! ) I'm sure you've heard it said that your worldview defines how you see and think? You're brought up to believe that looks matter to women--even women are brought up to believe looks matter to women--so you take hold of the evidence that supports that, and subconsciously toss the rest into the garbage, so to speak. You don't even realize you're doing it.

When I say that a woman would "rather have this" or "doesn't want that," I'm not talking about a conscious preference. I'm talking about subconsicous, primal, instinctual things that she probably doesn't even realize. Attraction is subconscious, it's illogical, and it's magnetic, to a point that will drive humans to do incredibly stupid, dangerous, evil, daring, amazing, wonderful, beautiful things.

my advice?....stop searching.

No i'm not saying to give up what i am saying is don't wait for a woman to make you feel good about yourself. Just have fun, be yourself, and you will give off a confidence that a lot of people don't have anymore. Ever notice that when you have a g/f you have other girls intrested in you? but when you brake up they are nowhere to be found? wether the ladies admit it or not they want to be noticed...and they try. But if it seems like you don't care..i.e because you have a g/f they try even harder. If you try to keep this same attitude once your detached the same thing holds true. No i'm not saying to play a game...but looking like a challenge...and not looking like every other learing eyed guy in the place helps a little. But before you can pull this off effectivly you have to be comfortable being alone. That is just what i have noticed..i may be in left field. but hey at least i'm in the game lol.

Isaac, you're exactly on the money! Thank you for saying it so well

Beer and a cigar for you




Okay, fine, have it your way. A bouquet too.

thanx for the beer ...the cigar i'll have to pass on though
oh and a bouquet too...how thoughtful

Well, here's the other side of it -- I've met 9 women from various dating sites (not this one) and 8 of them were total train wrecks. The reality of it is I would have been better off NOT meeting them, or even dealing with them in the first place.

It's taken me awhile to figure it out, but I see on line dating as a sort of lottery -- about 1 in 10,000,000 actually "wins" here. I know some people who have met their matches on this very site, but the percentages -- as I understand them -- are not hopeful. Especially for "more selective" types such as myself.

In the end, I decided I had to stop "playing" this particular "lottery." Not only are the odds against winning completely astronomical, but the "prizes" don't fit my needs anyway.

One of the posts in this thread mentioned batting .000 after you've made a few posts -- imagine batting .000 after making 10,000 posts. There's a point -- for me -- when it all boiled down to accepting the fact that I'm simply never going to meet anyone here, and that I need to be dealing with people in the real world again....

This site has it's pros and it's cons. Throw yourself out there and some wolves will come. But there are also some good people who are sincere that will eventually come calling. Go slow with the positive ones and see what kind of relationship developes. And, most of all, BE HONEST!!

I agree .. get rid of the tie. It gives you a look. I see the 'suits' all day at work, but on line, it just looks like you're uptight yanno.

I like your 3rd pic.

And (( RELAX )) .. just have fun. Post in the forums. That always helps make friends, which is where you should start.