my x just gave my daughter a track phone 2 days ago and she is 7.should i tell her no way in my house .she calls my x wifes new boyfriends. she has had 7 in 6 months she has met from the internet.after my x has had 2 dates she lets my daughter meet the guys and they sleep over her house and even put my daughter to sleep.yes i know it is sick.why me

That is just so horrible! Your poor daughter.

Oooh John, what is with your ex? Can't you take the phone away from your daughter? She lives with you. And about your daughter meeting the ex's dates - it's not appropriate. Maybe it's getting close to supervised visitation time. What do you think, John? Is it an option?

I would put my foot down about her calling your ex's bf's, if you can call them that.

I had the same issue
Lawyer says in your time you are responsible turn it off without a fear
Bob

Good Evening

Good evening to you, too, Robert.

yea i can take the phone.this poor girl she is just hanging in their she needs a mom and a dad and the judge knows everything my daughter is very strong she will be ok.i dont want to take her mom away if at all cost yes i know the mom did it to me.i need to realy think hard on this.now the mom wants to put her in a new school and never told me but told my daughter.i will fight for my daughter to the end but what to do.at times it is hard being a full time dad .

I have thought about getting a disney phone for my granddaughter who is 7. Just for the peice of mind that she can be located do to her being with her mother who moves her around way to much, and has the same 'boy friend' thing as your ex. Plus, you can only program like 7 phone #'s in there, and I think you can set the time limit per call. As far as I am concerened, when the mother is acting like that, it is not in the best interest of your daughter. Getting her away from that situation would be the best until the mother can change her ways and start thinking about what she is doing to the girls pshcy.

Supervised visitation is not taking her away from her mom.
I'm being blunt because I know you, btw.

It's not good for your daughter to keep bonding with these men and they keep leaving. And what is it teaching your daughter about relationships? John Does put your daughter to sleep. Yikes.

Why a new school?

As far as the cell phone goes, a seven year old has no need for a cell phone. period.

As far as who a 7 year old calls? shouldnt (personal opinion) be anybody other than mom, dad, sibling (assuming a major age differance here), or other relative. A seven year old girl definitely has no business calling her mothers boyfriends (or fathers girlfriends).

As far as your ex letting her boyfriend(s) spend the night, and even put yuor child to bed, there is absolutely nothing "sick" about it. I personally would not introduce my childrent o anyone I had just met, but that is my personal belief. Doesnt mean there is anything sick about someone else allowing it.

What it boils down to though, is you are going to have to accept that your ex has the right to se, and be with whomever she wants, and apparently has the legal right to allow anyone around yours and hers daughter that she wants, as long as there is nothing wrong going on. Nothing you can do about it.

With the cell phone, you can require that it be left at her mothers house, and her mother can not say anything about it. You can also state that your daughter not talk to anyone on the phone without your prior approval, and go on to state that no one will get that approval other than mom (while she is at your house).

In the end it is a case of two houses, two sets of rules. You na dmom need to get together, set personal differances aside and come up with an agreeable solution for both of you. Otherwise there will always be conflict.

Daniel,

I liked what you wrote. But I do disagree on one issue.
I think it's scarey to have men that the mother doesn't know well (they are not long-term relationships) being in the bedroom with the little girl at night. These men are not 110% trustworthy. And this little girl is having 7 strangers tuck her in a night within a 6 mth. period. That is just wrong.

john

i would take marys phone away when she is at your house...it is not appropriate and i wouldnt care what anyone says...shes 7...youre the boss...prove it

I have 2 boys...ages 9 and 6...and I bought them both cell phones for Christmas. Never in my life did I think that kids those ages needed cell phones. But my ex husband is an alcoholic. My kids needed a way to get ahold of me if ever the need should arise...thus the phones.

Saying kids don't need a cell phone ever period doesn't apply to all situations...I'm living proof.

i think a cell phone for a kid is a good idea not a typical cell phone tho

one that holds maybe 9 numbers programed in by the responsible guardian

mom dad grand parents 911 and mabe 2 really good friends

afer all in the world today they need any safty procautions they can get

just a thought

but hey

what do i know

i got my 9 year old a phone..its a basic phone..no internet, blue tooth etc...hes only allowed to text on it..and only has close friends and family on it..got mainly for when hes at his dads so he can text me...i didnt get an expensive one for the reason we get alot of phone mugging over here..told him if someone wants it give it to them

I agree that it is not somethign that I wuold od. However, to coem out and state that she is wrong for doing it and that it is scary for her to have someone do it, fringes on defamation of the unknown mans charactar. Keep i nmind the argument that we dont knwo him, can (and would be) used against us as well to show that we have no reason NOT to trust him.

I do agree though that neither parent should even introduce a new "friend", unless they have already been seeing each other for a long time. Some people say this period of time shuld be the wedding day; I disagree. However, I would seriously doubt introducing them prior to at least 6 months of steady dating, let alone allowing the other person to "tuck" my babies in at night until I knew them a heluv a lot better than just a coule weeks.

If your ex is an alcholhlic and yuo feel the childrens saftey is at concern when around him, why are they even allowed around him unsupervised? And dont say anythign about "well the court states he has the right". Even with me as an example of fatehrs getting their rights (I am a single father of divorse with sole custody of both kids, she has supervised visits only), the system is still weighed against the father.
If you feel he is such a dnger that a six year old should have a phone for emergency use while around him, then you need to get into court and have his contact changed to supervised, if not removed completely.

Good Luck

I still say that a child under twelve has absolutely no business owning a cell phone. They should not be in a situation where they were unsupervised to begin with, and by the definition of supervison, they would not need the cell cause someone responsible is already there.

As I think Debbie stated aslo, there are more and more phone muggings going on, just like people were killing for nike shoes and such so many years ago (and stilla re really). Why would you want to put your child into a situation where he or she might have to face that scenario, when there is no need.

We as parents need to step up to the plate and accept the responsibility of raising our children properly; which means that we make sure that until they are old enough (12 is general age personally) to be by themselves for a couple hours unsupervised, that they REMAINsupervised, by a responsible party whom we can trust. If someone we trust violates that trust, and we no longer trust our childs safety with them? Then they dont supervise our children.

Talk to your parents and your grandparents. Talk to your godparents and aunts and uncles, ask THEM how you were raised, and hwo they were raised, and yu will find a very major differance between then and today.

In todays world we are pushing our children to grow up faster and faster and to be more responsible sooner. In some cases that is all well and good. In others it isnt. So step back, and take your childs safety and upraising back into your own hands, and ensure that they remain safe.

Defamation? Daniel, I know a man that is in jail for "liking" girls. He had sex with his stepdaughter. There is another that has been released from jail on my street for having sex with a minor family member. I'm calling it sex but we know better. It's in the news too.

One can not know in a short time the true character of a man. It is a parents' job to protect that little girl or boy even. That is not defamation. For one there is the bonding issue. The second issue is if they "like" little girls.

I agree that you can no tknow a person in that short a time frame, and I agree with you that a child should not be introduced. And I also know there are very bad men in jail and on the streets for just such things you stated and more.

but you can not LEGALLY compare all men (or women) to these people. That is what the defemation laws are for.

You can say: "I don't know the person well enough so I dont trust them completely yet"

You can not say, "I do not know them so it is assumed that they are not safe (for whatever reason)".

It all goes into what is being said and or implied. If you imply someone IS trouble just because the parent hasnt known them long, then you are on the lines of defamation cause you have no solid ground on which to stand and show that they are bad.

But if you simply say that the parent has not knwo them very long, so shouldnt automatically trust them, as they do not know the peson well enough yet, then you are not making any suggestions of impropriety, thus yuo are not defaming them.