Denied the one I crave,I'm now bound to one I hate.
Yearning for the safe shelter of your arms I dread
Each coming dawn,bringing new awareness of my fate.
Recalling every touch,every kiss,each word we said
Wondering now how my marriage came to it's conclusion
Are you now missing me,am I running through your head?

What I know is rather painful,it strangles me inside
For you are not with me,now my inside a great abyss
I sigh a hundred tears or more,for you I am not beside
Tender eyes burned into my mind,yours~you that I miss.
Hope rings eternal through countless tears I've cried
The best moments with me always;I must remember this.

Struggling against heavy chains,life and heart they bind.
A legal battle that I must face now before I can be free.
That separates us forever,yet you linger on my mind,
I must face her angry tirade,her punishment I must see.
Before I can settle in new arms so welcoming,safe,and kind.
Her rage must have a victim,and that victim must be me.

Them awful wheels were set in motion so many years ago
When I pledged my life to this woman,no coming pain I knew.
I was young,my boundaries thin,and I never could say no.
Proud and stubborn,I sold away the security that was so new.
It's a huge commitment & requires thought,that I surely knew.
Fully aware that I should not,I smiled and said,"I do."

With those words I made my chains and to myself them bound.
I simply couldn't,wouldn't see the cage to which I'd agreed.
Every promise broken,each and every vow I later found.
She ignored,trampled,lied,and denied in narcissistic greed.
Eventually,I was broken,drove mercilessly into the ground,
So that I could lie to myself and fill my one insatiable need.

I knew she'd never do what she said,that action matched not word,
But she said she loved me endlessly,and I needed to believe.
So I cried,explained,and begged,but my pleas were never heard.
The need to believe I could be loved,meant I could not leave,
My legs would not propel me,like the wings of some clipped bird.
I hid inside myself and sought in escapism some reprieve.

I ran so deep inside me that in the end I could not even find
The young vibrant girl who met that man so many years ago.
I ran so far,so fast,and so blindly,I'd left her far behind.
As I pick myself slowly up,and timidly blow by blow
I address the underlying issues and found beaten by the grind.
But my newfound strength was,she thought,only just for show.

As it dawned on her with each and every passing day,
That I meant was;what I said,the end for me and you,
Her word she could fulfill without a moment's delay.
Or she could say,"Some-thing's really wrong with you."
Her narcissism dictated that it must happen just this way.
And my gathering strength meant that my marriage was through.

Her garments packed in anger,she left in a fit of rage,
Believing I would back down,see the error of my change.
As time went by and each day we turned another page,
Yet give in I would not,and she thought it very strange.
I cleansed my house so many times with frankincense and sage,
It was my life that I cleansed most,a badly needed change.

Day by day I slowly heal,and the relationship was no more.
With the exception of that legal chain,harder to absolve.
So I made the day,walked in my cage;behind me shut the door.
Around that woman my life no longer does revolve anymore.
I vowed the end the day,I collapsed and pounded on the floor,
But oh!the complex legal bit I still need to resolve.

And we are now to the crux of this tale of misery and woe,
For it is this legal chain that keeps me from your embrace.
Keeps me from being in your arms with my heart all aglow,
My inability to say no is why I now cannot gaze at your face.
I tell this story not to every reader,only to my friends
This happens when you ignore yourself,submitting to society's grace.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Sadly submitted by a true friend~Cybear 1/31/07{no pity intended}
p.s The reason I have submitted this is because I want to share
this with my friends here at JSH,in the hopes that they may never
submit themselves to this pain in a marriage or a relationship.
Out of respect;do not inject criticism.For it is fact not fiction.Thx!

WOW Cybear that was amazing.

Thanks for sharing. ((Cybear))

that is really sweet and sad darling. I'm Sorry it was that for you
:(

(((Cybear)))
Thanks for sharing


:(

Ohhhhhhhh Cybear the things you have had to bare
we all know how you feel for there are many here
that has went through that same heart ache. What
we thought was everlasting love ended up being an
everlasting hell. To break away from those chains
and to stand once again upon your own two feet feels
amazing after it happens and once those papers have
been finaled that is when it is your time to start
a new life for you good luck my friend on the road
you travel. Wish you only the very best to come.

WOW, I have been married and divorced twice and that place there I have
never been, in thought anyway!!
Good thought for a bad day though Cybear!!!!!!

hey cybear if that was about you im so sorry like txgal said we have all
been through that pain and hopefully we have learned to never go back
again your words move me i love reading them thanks for another great
one

wow cybear that was sad but true. iwish you all the luck on your road to
recovery.it truly is a road filled with pain before joy.but with
strenght and determination i know you will get there.if i can be any
help,even just a ear to listen, just say the word. your friend
slow.......

It does get better, this is only the beginning of a new life.

:)

G

we all need you to stay strong for us Cybear!!!

hopes you never have to go through that again!!!

Thanks for sharing Cybear. I appreciated that very much. I shall return
my thanks with sharing my poem about mine one day soon. No one
can truly share their true pains, but we can share a little bit thru our
words of expression...

cybear as a good friend told me, life is a big book and well that is a
sad chapter. it is truly time to turn the page and write your own happy
ending.......good luck my friend

and we all know you have that gift for writing.

Cybear- You spoke my very life. Been there done that got the T-shirt,
the hat AND the belt buckle.
What insight..Im in awe!
Tressia