all of thes people here withe the exception of spay have told u good
things ...IF u cant get control of her ..call the police on her b4 u do
something u will regret and could get u in trouble....its called tough
love....it is better to relinquish your custody to the satte temporarily
than lose it all together because u did something stupid...it may be
beyond your control..u may need counseling and therapy...dont let her
continue to abuse you or any other family members...she may have
something serious wrong such as a chemical imbalance or it could be an
emotional problem.......point here i am trying to make is you as a
parent may not be able to help..u may have to sit back and let it run
its course ,but not to the point of her hurting herself or others

Spay - you are talking about someone's daughter here, have some common
decency.

I went through hell with my daughter, she started acting out at about
11, at 16 was diagnosed with a personality disorder, that is actually
the age when they will diagnose them if they have a disorder. Before
calling the police on her and signing her over to the state, I would
work on getting her into counseling and see if you can get to the root
of the issue. Maybe an antidepressant can help, or talking out an issue
with you with the counselor, she may not be able to put what is
bothering her into words. Once she is signed over to the state, you
will have to jump through major hoops to get her back. I would call the
police if she is violent toward you, then yes call them, or another
family member, etc., but try getting her to the family doctor or
counselor for some help first. There may be some underlying medical
issue going on also. These people, other than Spay and 4Fun had some
good advice. Don't know the laws in your state, but wouldn't sign her
over unless it was a last resort. The foster systems are overcrowded
and some of the foster homes are good, both others, my God. If you do
sign her over, fight for a group home situation versus foster home, she
can get counseling there and some treatment. And a church run group
home should be a good one. Another thing to think about, is once she is
signed over to the state, they will want you to pay child support, you
can go to court to argue the amount down, but WA state wanted 25% of my
income, I got it lowered, but still lost our house due to the child
support and the cost of the trips for visitation every weekend and her
needs, she was about 3 hours away, etc. Funny thing was, her dad never
paid us a dime of child support and they didn't bother to go after him
to pay anything on this bill either.

Hope this helps.

The world isn't the same for her as it was for us when we were growing
up...kids today are being exposed to sh-t at a younger age and most
don't know how to handle it. One thing I have learned is this...You need
to look at who her freinds are. They have alot to do with her actions.
Like the old saying gose.....Show me your freinds and I'll show you your
future!

Thanks so much for all the advice, I love her and deep down she is a
great kid, I guess I just have to man up and deat with the ****.

good luck babygirl...hope it all works out for you and her.

Babygirl, I am so sorry about everything you are going though. I was
fortunate enough to have lucked out with my daughter. She knew her
place, and I showed her mine. I do agree with everyone that has given
you advice except one. You need to try and find out what is going on
with her before she gets in any deeper. Show her that you still love her
and that you care about her. And as a last resort, I would seriously
give boot camp a try.


Spay, your comments on this thread were way out of line, and very
disrespectful, not to mention rude. She is hurting at the thought of
losing her child and you go and spit that garbage out of your mouth?

Spay, you know I like you, but this time you was so out of line with
her.

I agree about bootcamp.

Spay chill man some remarks were very rude and uncalled for.

well Spay's comments were his thoughts about the matter at hand, we all
have our own and in our minds ours are right, you may not agree with his
nor he yours it was his opinion just as you have yours.

i know a gal that her son sets on his ass 24-7 and dont do
a thing! i have know alot of women that their kids dont do s-it. and
they are 17 and 18 years old.

Think the bootcamp is great.Will let the kids know that there is
something you can do.They will be wild and do anything they want if they
think you cant do anything about it.

seems bbgurl I've got the SAME daughter as YOU!! she thinks SHE's in
control of her life.. she thinks I'm just here as her Servant AND
caretaker.. she is SOREly mistaken.. and it has NOTHING to do with lack
of discipline!!

I was brought up with a sargent major for a dad and EVERYday was boot
camp.. we HAD to respect.. I am ALL about respect and discipline.. but
SOME kids just DON'T get it... thankfully the openness of our
relationship has given her the ability to talk to me about EVERYthing
that goes on in her life.. I know MORE than I WANT to know.. and hold
her secrets as they were my own.. BUT.. lately.. she's been acting out
now that she has a new BOYFRIEND... and the EX is (as he has been)
contaminating her mind about the DISrespect DUE to her mother..

anywho.. long story short?? I'm in the SAME boat as you.. alhtough NEVER
hit her.. nothing gets accomplished with violence I believe.. she HATES
my guts cuz I reFUSE to let things SLIDE.. she's failing in school for
the FIRST time AND it's her LAST year of High school AND the most
important.. yet she deems her BOYfriend is more important than ALL
else.. she wants to move to her dad's cuz she sees there is no
discipline OR chores to be had THERE ... AND she has ALL the freedoms in
the world.. including sexual!! I'm just hoping the YOUNGER one will
learn from the OLDERS mistakes and NOT go down this same road..

the pain my first born inflicts on my heart at this time is


we can ONLY do the BEST we CAN.. the rest.. is THEIR mistakes to make!