Topic: HOW TO DRIVE IN LOS ANGELES
brwnkimba's photo
Wed 04/30/08 08:10 PM


1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name: It is L. A.
2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush hour is from noon to 7:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

3 The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 85 mph. On the 105 or 110, your speed is expected to match the highway number. Anything less is considered 'Wussy.'

4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. L. A. has its own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go first at a 4-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires go second However, in Malibu , SUV-driving, cell phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out, and possibly shot.

6 Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can get you shot.

7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in all of L. A. and Orange counties. Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting.

8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats, barrels, cones, celebs, rubber-neckers, shredded tires, cell-phoners, deer and other road kill, and the coyotes feeding on any of these items.

9. Map Quest does not work here -- none of the roads are where they say they are or go where they say they do and all the freeway off and on ramps are moved each night.

10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally activated'

11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55- 65 mph zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off' accordingly. if you return the flip, you'll be shot.

12. Do not try to estimate travel time -- just leave Monday afternoon for Tuesday appointments, by noon Thursday for Friday and right after church on Sunday for anything on Monday morning.

And finally 'Why is the L. A. Freeway called the '405'?

Because no matter where you are going,
it takes 4 or 5 hours to get there.

TrueJedi's photo
Wed 04/30/08 08:11 PM
laugh laugh laugh

Hindzfeet's photo
Wed 04/30/08 08:14 PM
Just do it all in reverse

johncarl's photo
Wed 04/30/08 08:16 PM
the diamond lane in la is for passing i did it all the time for 10 years i had a car with a 501 in it.did not care how much gas it usedlaugh laugh

sethwyo's photo
Wed 04/30/08 08:21 PM

the diamond lane in la is for passing i did it all the time for 10 years i had a car with a 501 in it.did not care how much gas it usedlaugh laugh
What was ur car ? The make and year? Would like 2 know.

rush2001's photo
Wed 04/30/08 08:56 PM
laugh laugh laugh laugh

princecharming213's photo
Wed 04/30/08 11:15 PM
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DTHRomeo's photo
Thu 05/01/08 12:01 AM
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