I'll never understand why you would never want your son
I'll never understand why you tried to kill him in the womb
I'll never understand why you insisted he be given up
You have never seen what I have
An infant so soft and sweet
A baby saying Mommy for the first time
A toddler taking his first step
A young boy riding his bike by himself for the first time
A young man taking a girl out for the first time
I have seen all of these
You missed it because you chose to be worthless
And now he is on the thresh hold of becoming a man
A man of worth
A man of compassion
A man of his word
My son, is becoming a man
So I hope you sit and wonder what became of him
I hope you regret everything you've done
Because you no longer have a son

CCP another great poem

I am at a lose for words,
Your heart is as beautiful
as you,,,, Ms Poet,,, your
amazing...

Let go the pain Poet...

Good writing!!!

Thank you again

Cherub,

Can I pretend to be your editor and make a few suggestions?

1. Add the word 'seen' to the line "You have never seen what I have."

2. Add the word 'things' to the line "I have seen all of these."

3. Lose the "I'll never understand" in the second and third lines; it'll
make them more powerful.

4. Similarly, the trailing words "for the first time" are repeated too
many times. Find another way.

5. Contemplate the incongruity of stating that your son IS (as opposed
to maybe someday will be) a man of worth and compassion, and a man of
his word, when you've stated TWICE that's he's only JUST becoming a man.
Boys can't be understood to to possess these qualities, at least not to
a degree that matters.

Try this: Consider fast forwarding until the son is well in adulthood,
preparing to be a father himself, and work the poem to suggest the
contrast he will make as a dad to the man you're addressing this to.

6. Finally, the last two lines are just two vindictive. Soften it,
girl. Make him regret HIS LOSS, not YOUR ANGER. Besides, "you no
longer have a son" is technically impossible, unless the kid is dead.

For example:

"I hope you sit and ponder what became of him
The joyous sights you've missed, and those yet to be missed
Because you walked away."


Good luck.

No do not pretend to be my editor stop being a total ass

Hey, you're welcome!

Adios, then.

Walrus,
You have no heart and no respect for another human being,
How dare you think you could critcize Ms Poets Work,,,,
you are a self centered A S S H O L E,,, you are a heartless
Piece of C R A P.......................... EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW you
make me ill.....

Thanks for sharing, Mom.

Say, have I told you that you remind me of my own mother?

Like I said, I'm DONE with offering feedback to this poet. It's not
wanted; I got that.

I'm also done with READING this poet's work. She has you for an
audience; I'll leave you to your symbiotic relationship.

Once again, goodbye. Live long, be well.

You are the most disgusting man on this site,
Each time i see your post, you are bashing somebody or destroying thier
work..

It is just a matter of time before you will have enough
reports on you and then little man you will be gone...

You have a very sick morbid way of thinking... Hurting people is just
wrong....

Anything you might do to accelerate that process, feel free.

It's okay: Being banned from a community of people who can't accept
constructive, dispassionate literary criticism isn't that big a
punishment. I'll live.

Take it eassssss...

constructive, dispassionate literary criticism, should sometimes be kept
to yourself, when one is expressing thier
feeelings and emotions felt from thier heart, it should then be left
alone... what you have done is take it all apart,,, with no care as to
how it would effect that person...

shame on you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Eweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I am done with you,,, you are not worth my time!!!!!!!!!!
You are a sick individual!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

poet ya are at awe once again



lamom ya rawk!!!!!!







1

ahemmm...back to th topic...

Great poem CCP...leave it just like YOU wrote it...

Mr.Walrus...

being constructive does not mean you have to be mean also...
if we had any questions for the poet,can't we just leave them to emails?

trust me on this...

You sure are taking a long time being done with me, Mom.

Take a tip from the poet: She sent me straight to hell with a single
sentence. And what's with all the exclamation marks? Isn't one enough?

Buh-bye. Just remember that we'll always have Paris.

Cherubpoet I loved your poem I think that you really expressed your
feelings well. Keep up the good work.

You know, Walrus, I really, really must be a fuc*ing idiot. I admit, you
got me. I felt sorry for you. I PITIED you. I thought you were just some
sad, pathetic, pimple faced impotent loser who just needed attention to
feel important for the first time in his life. Now you come on here and
bash people who have done nothing to you...and for what? What do you
want? Confrontation? Attention? You don't know sh*t about poetry,
parenting, a parents love for their children, absentee parents, etc. In
fact, I think you are definitely someone who should be kept far, far
away from children. You owe Poet and LA an appology, but you won't do
it....because you hate women.

Girl that was Awesome!!!!



Walrus - I have one thing to say to you KEEP YOUR SUGGESTIONS TO YOUR
SELF!!!!!!!!! PLEASE.