hello there i have a ex-husband in prision i know the word ex for a reason thats a long story but he has no one to send him money but me and the kids not the folks he hung around one lady got kill in auto-mobile accident the other one just took off dont know how many more so should i do the chritian person and help him while he is in there? I never wished him no ill at all our marriage was over 15years ago. He got one year in so i havent married again and im not presently in a relationship so dont have anything to hide from the other guy just needing some feed back thanks

Go ahead and do what your heart say's.

are u trying to help him because u still have feelings for him? or because u think u should as a christian?

Um, did he contact you and ask for money? What do you do when he gets out and asks you for more money, or a place to stay. How are you going to protect yourself to make sure he doesn't start taking advantage of you?

Worked in a Jail for 8.5 years. The largest correctional facility in the state, bigger than the pen. here. And one thing people learn fast in Jail or prison is how to manipulate people and take advantage of them. He may or may not be the same person you knew before.

Just make sure you don't let it become a habit for him to ask you for money or stuff.

I agree with Moon... its very easy for a prisoner to manipulate someone into giving them money. Think about it, they are in jail, they will tell you whatever you want to hear to get what they need.

There really is not enough information for me to offer advice about whether it is a good idea or not.

In so far as whether it is a good Christian thing to do? I'm of the opinion that doing something you cannot afford to do or puts you and yours at risk... for the sake of another, is not necessarily a good thing. More often then not? It is a bad thing.

I personally believe that there's a reason these people are in prison. I won't over extend myself to make a prisoner more comfortable. Maybe that's not "christian" of me, just how I feel about it. He's there for a reason. If you really care about this person, and you want to do something for him, I don't really see why not, as long as it doesn't take away from you and your family. I'd write letters, maybe go visit him, send him some books, cards, supplies (whatever the prison will allow you to send) but as far as sending money, I probably wouldn't do it.

only he my kids dad and that just the way i am always seeing the flip side of things trying to do what God would want me to do. My feeling left for him years ago for reaaal. But thanks for you words

I wouldn't do it bc "God" wants you to do it. There are other ways of helping him as a christian than sending cash. Best of luck to you I know it's not an easy situation

thanks for what you said but been there done that i was married to this person for 25 long heartbroken,cheating,drugs,years so i know just for a while and it will be til i find mr. right (lol) he has a year there

It would be the christian thing to do yes. I ask you though have you prayed about this situation and what is God telling you to do? I think he is an ex for a reason and unless you are getting back with him he has put himself in the situation he is in. Try to see if his family will help him. But, before you choose to do anything pray about it all!!!!!!! Good luck in whatever you do.

no risk at all ive worked for the prision for 19years and now im a officer at a private company he is in for a parole violation he was on crack got caught with it didnt pay his fine and they stopped him while he was driving and he went to prison

That's not the sort of risk I was talking about.
Would his dependence on you effect the quality of life for you and your children... Is more to the point.

thanks his family wont help him he did that to his self

If he is using you, don't give him anything at all. If you're just going to help because you feel sorry or obligated to do so, don't do it.

Just follow your heart, it will make the best decision.

Please make sure that if you do choose to help him, he is of the understanding that it's not bc you still have feelings for him. I would be very hard pressed to help someone that put me thru 25 years of all that. The "christian" thing to do would be to forgive him and move on with your life. That doesn't involve sending him cash.

i dont think so when we were married he made all the decisions and i just sit back like a ------ and took it instead of voicing my own opion of things now i have a choice in whether or not without him its really my choice and i not trying to sound all good and holly i was good wife to this person but life still goes on he hindered me in alot of ways but helping wasnt one of them

thankx i dont fel sorry for him he did this to him self and i dont like for kids to have to seend him money allthe time either

You are correct in this that you are holding the cards now. However, it seems like you still feel bound to helping him. Are you sure it's bc "God" wants you to help him? Or is it bc you want to help him?

Prisoners have their basic needs taken care of. WE pay for that. Why do you feel the need to make sure he has snacks and such?