what other expenses are you picking up? Are you paying for his calls from prison as well?

i guess cause i useta be a correctional officer so he could write maybe his kids sometimes or his family that just what it is not trying to make him dependent on me or our children

that just it no calls to my house at all he doesnt have that right just a couple of dollars here and there maybe

It would seem as though you feel a responsiblity here. WHY?

if you start giving him money now, he will be dependent on you. The "favors" will increase. Your children I assume are grown adults and since he is their father, if they choose to send him money, there is nothing you can do about it.

I would write to him and perhaps visit him. If he's relatively close, visit often. I wouldn't send a great deal of money and I wouldn't let him call collect from prison.

Calls from prison are billed at rates of $3 per minute or higher. Prisons make money from this. You can very quickly run up bills of hundreds of dollars. I know: I've had a $400 phone bill one month thanks to this. I had to call a phone company, separate from the one billing me, to get the calls shut off and blocked from my line. It was other people at the house taking the calls.

Wben my granddaughter went to jail, about 30 miles from here, we visited once a week and sent $75 a week for the commissary privileges. The costs added up quickly. We'd sent her there for six months after she repeatedly got busted for under aged drinking. She was on the fifth month of a six month house arrest sentence (for which we were paying $150 a month for the "bracelet") when she got drunk and assaulted us. We called the cops, she resisted arrest and the rest is history.

After her release from jail she started dating a guard. She didn't do OK with that, so she went with his brother. They ended up getting married and are now both going to church. (She met a guy from the Nazarene church in jail who was leading a study on the Purpose Filled Life).

Part of what made us send her was advice in the Total Transformation Program. It advised if you can't get a kid to listen to your authority, let the school or higher authorities loose on 'em. They need to learn the consequences of their actions.

So I'd advise you to proceed with caution. Communicate, provide funds within reason, but be careful. Tell your pastor, friends and family what you're doing and get their feedback. If you start hearing a lot of opposition to providing more than $25 a week, I'd reconsider.

Feel free to contact me at the e-mail listed here/yashafox off the forum and I'd be glad to talk with you about this.

Geo.

COMMISSARY....send money there. He will have to sign it to release it then he can only buy what they offer, such as shampoo, lotion, soap, snacks. He doesn't need much after he gets the essentials. Food in prison sucks. They need a snack. But....be careful...they get real good at getting money.

Kat

I see alot of this type stuff and it usually is looked as They Deserve it. Yet If you call yourself a believer you deserve Death.but Yahshua did that for us as a friend. He said do not let your right hand know what your left hand is doing. It is quite sad when i hear all the time we are saved by grace.. a pardon...Yet we see others as not deserving why. Yahshua did not say well way the facts before giving to him that asks. Do you believe all thing of yours belong to your savior. If they do why do we long for houses and cars when they can not speak and last only a few years. Is not a fellow human being worth more than your house.Yahshua was Homeless. If you seen him on the street would you say to yourself lok at that lazy bum he deserves what he gets? Live what you beleive. Don't say I believe and and don't live it. How many of us are going to want mercy? Don't give it and it is simple you will not get it when that time comes. remember where you came from and don't judge.

WTF???

what all it boils down to in what i was trying to say is..

If you are a believer compassion and Mercy should be at the for front of your minds. Motives of others who asks you for anything should not really be considered. because Yahweh Knows all. Shalom and have great sabbath

Hmmmmmm. I did not see anywhere that dude actually asked for anything. That is where I am confused...

I believe you are right. It seems just to be a discussion about if someone from jail asks you for money. with opinions on both sides. I believe the original poster started this to see what everyones opinion is about sending him money and helping out. Thanks for pointing that out to me..Shalom..Miles

okay wil do that and thanks for these words

i am not judging him olny asking for some advice i been down before well not in prison ive guarded inmates before and so has he and i know what goes on

I wouldn't say that it's a christian thing or not. sometimes doing the right things (as a christian) is to protect yourself and your kids and not be taken advantage of. it could aslo mean to practice tough love. he did this to himself....maybe he needs to hit rock bottom and get it through his head what he did was wrong before he can help himself. it doesn't do anyone any good to give money or help someone because they won't learn if people take care of them

sometimes the "christian" thing to do is to let him hit rock bottom and be there to support him (not with money)when he is ready to start over after he has learned from what he did

thank you for your comment sometimes this is so true