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Topic: Do all dates end
Lily0923's photo
Sun 04/13/08 12:02 PM
Jim and Rob, I think you are both right...

Do you want a womans perspective on it?

I mean I'm not highly female in my thinking, but here it goes.

If I really really like a guy, like he makes my toes curl, I absolutly will not sleep with him, I make him wait. My ex husband waited 3 months.

If I do (which is highly rare) sleep with someone on the first date, I don't care to see them ever again.

I know warped and twisted, but I feel like if he feels for me the way I feel for him, he'll want to wait also.

If he gives in on the first date, he is not the kinda guy I want to date.

Again, I have very masculine views in life...so this may or may not be true for all women.

Single_Rob's photo
Sun 04/13/08 12:05 PM
well the last woman I slept with on the first date was my wife for 8 years, and I ****ed it up. It had nothing to do with that

itsmetina's photo
Sun 04/13/08 12:10 PM
agreed lily may want to the 1st date but waiting is always the way to go it is hard trying to pry someone off of you

Lily0923's photo
Sun 04/13/08 12:11 PM

well the last woman I slept with on the first date was my wife for 8 years, and I ****ed it up. It had nothing to do with that


flowerforyou You know I adore you Rob....flowerforyou

Totage's photo
Sun 04/13/08 12:14 PM

with the guy wanting sex? I went on a date with someone I had been talking to from here where I live. We had a lot in common, the date was great, we laughed and had a great conversation. We seemed to click...and then he brought me home. At the door, I got a really sweet kiss and then instead of hearing "I had a good time, can I see you again" I got more kissing and the 'ol hand inching its way upward. I told him that I wasn't ready for that part yet. That I thought we had discussed getting to know each other more and seeing where it leads to. He conceded, said good nite and left...

I guess I am just wondering if this is the way of the dating world now? Ladies do you have this problem and guys...is this what you expect at the end of a date?

Advice please


I just go with the flow of a date. I wait for her to make the first move though. I don't expect anything, I just enjoy the moment.

Fade2Black's photo
Sun 04/13/08 12:16 PM
Well let's face it folks. A 'first date' in R/L is totally .. and I mean TOTALLY different than one from online.

In r/l you are just starting to talk to them on the first date.

In online when you actually DO meet you could have been talking to them for MONTHS. And a lot of deep kinda talk. Not just what movie you wanna see or whether you like shrimp or not.

So if I meet someone from offline in person and we've talked for a long time, and I know that person as well as I possibly can from all the convos we've had ... that all we have left IS the physical ...

Damn baby ... it could very well happen love love love

Lily0923's photo
Sun 04/13/08 12:20 PM

Well let's face it folks. A 'first date' in R/L is totally .. and I mean TOTALLY different than one from online.

In r/l you are just starting to talk to them on the first date.

In online when you actually DO meet you could have been talking to them for MONTHS. And a lot of deep kinda talk. Not just what movie you wanna see or whether you like shrimp or not.

So if I meet someone from offline in person and we've talked for a long time, and I know that person as well as I possibly can from all the convos we've had ... that all we have left IS the physical ...

Damn baby ... it could very well happen love love love


Oh I totally agree, I was coming from a IRL perspective, as I have not dated online very much, and the guys I met from online, well they didn't get the time of day for date 2, with or without sex.

I should have stated that in my previous post...

How are you today sugar?

Fade2Black's photo
Sun 04/13/08 12:24 PM
I'm great sweets and you?

Ya I mean when I met my last BF we had been talking for over a month .. hours a day --- HOURS .. love


When we met for the first time we went to a park ... we were swinging on swings and when he slid off his and stood in front of mine .......... well, suffice it to say it was a TITANIC night .... yep. In the park. blushing blushing blushing

It was the most romantic date I've ever had and it didn't cost a dime either. I still think about it *sigh*


Okay, okay, back to reality .. sorry blushing

Single_Rob's photo
Sun 04/13/08 12:24 PM


with the guy wanting sex? I went on a date with someone I had been talking to from here where I live. We had a lot in common, the date was great, we laughed and had a great conversation. We seemed to click...and then he brought me home. At the door, I got a really sweet kiss and then instead of hearing "I had a good time, can I see you again" I got more kissing and the 'ol hand inching its way upward. I told him that I wasn't ready for that part yet. That I thought we had discussed getting to know each other more and seeing where it leads to. He conceded, said good nite and left...

I guess I am just wondering if this is the way of the dating world now? Ladies do you have this problem and guys...is this what you expect at the end of a date?

Advice please


I just go with the flow of a date. I wait for her to make the first move though. I don't expect anything, I just enjoy the moment.
Things hardly ever happen for those content to sit back and wait. Carpe diem, the way I will always live my life

Jim519's photo
Sun 04/13/08 12:26 PM
Lily and Fade made great points

Yes, it can happen and no one is trash if it does..

Although, I dont expect it.....Has to be natural

Fade2Black's photo
Sun 04/13/08 12:26 PM
Agreed Rob .....

One of my fav sayings by Brennan Manning is:

'TO LIVE WITH OUT RISK, IS TO RISK NOT LIVING'


SEIZE THE DAY !!!!drinker

no photo
Sun 04/13/08 12:27 PM
It all depends on the situation at hand. I certainly do not have any rules on this... Although it is in my nature to take my time. Sometimes, to my detriment.
If there is both a physical and emotional attraction and/or attachment on the first date.. that has been communicated and both are comfortable.. Then I see no reason why not. If those things are not present or not been communicated effectively.. then ~ no.
The general idea in my opinion... is to listen to what is going on and if it feels right... So be it.

My experience has been, over my limited dating career.. That you stand as much chance of alienating her, making uninvited moves, as you do...not responding to the ques she offers.

Either way.. You are not paying attention to anything outside of yourself.

Lily0923's photo
Sun 04/13/08 12:29 PM
Edited by Lily0923 on Sun 04/13/08 12:31 PM

I'm great sweets and you?

Ya I mean when I met my last BF we had been talking for over a month .. hours a day --- HOURS .. love


When we met for the first time we went to a park ... we were swinging on swings and when he slid off his and stood in front of mine .......... well, suffice it to say it was a TITANIC night .... yep. In the park. blushing blushing blushing

It was the most romantic date I've ever had and it didn't cost a dime either. I still think about it *sigh*


Okay, okay, back to reality .. sorry blushing


The night I finally did with my ex, we went to a street fair, and it started to rain so we went to the car, and he wouldn't let me in till I kissed him.....

Ya, I know what you mean.

Non commital sex is great, but really it's just acrobatics.

Sex with someone you know, REALLY know... that is divine.


Lily0923's photo
Sun 04/13/08 12:30 PM

My experience has been, over my limited dating career.. That you stand as much chance of alienating her, making uninvited moves, as you do...not responding to the ques she offers.

Either way.. You are not paying attention to anything outside of yourself.


drinker

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