ccp-conquest.....what is that? another trophy for the wall?????????????
as usual i'm lost...lol

leroy u have a sis? cool! welcome buttons!

NO

yeah Slow thats it!!

well my wall is empty.......lol

I don't even have a wall!!

IcePrincess, Why the change of mind? LMAO....

My first thread I posted on here was about why someone would be on here
if you're married? You went on about it's not cheating as long as your
up front with it with all parties: So it's only dating (what if he
doesn't sleep with her)?

Enquiring Minds wanna know?

Similar situation to the question posted and this is based on a TRUE
STORY I know of that happened to one of my Best Friends Parents:

The Parents were married about 30+ years (Very religious: Church on
Sunday & Bible Study on Tuesdays & Thursdays, No Cursing, I actually saw
the little brother get scolded for saying “darn”)

The Wife came down with Alzheimer's disease. The husband cared for her
as long as he could with in home assistance (the last two year while at
home she had NO idea who she or anyone else was and got to the point she
was smearing “Crap” on the walls). So the husband transferred her to a
full care facility that specialized in Alzheimer’s care where the Wife
lived another FIVE years.

That’s SEVEN years of marriage that the Wife was clueless who anyone was
PLUS another four or five years of her mentally breaking down and
gradually forgetting more and more until she became essentially
mindless. Anyone familiar with Alzheimer’s can “grasp”, but probably not
understand, what kind of living Hell the Husband was in:


So Peep’s is that still a NO on dating until she dies?



While this was going on two daughters were married and lived in another
state and the two younger sons lived in town...

i still say no to dating, if he wants out he still needs to get a
divorce, in a situation like this i'm sure he would be granted one, but
it seems even sadder because she wouldn't even know about it. if he is
lonely enough to want to move on than he should divorce first not just
date while she withers away as his wife.

Fact is she's dead already in this situation (there is no cure and it
doesn't ever get better). Plus he still loved the memory of his wife and
wouldn't Divorce. It wasn't about wanting "out" it was about ending it
which took years. In that situation the poor man was virtually left
alone with nobody to "comfort" him (and I'm not talking about Sex here).

i guess i could see a point of view there, but i know it wouldn't be a
choice i would make personally.

Hummmm well Sluggo u answered your question seems the man loved his wife
enough that he did not date while his wife was still alive. So when it
comes dowm to it it will still be that persons option what ever they do
no matter what we think or say we really have no clue what we would
actually do until we were faced with that same situation ourselves. I
can almost bet that the ones all saying no or the ones that say yes. If
it came right down to it there is a possiablity that we would change our
thoughts on how we would go about it. To divorce one because they were
in that situation is just as bad, you have wrote them off. Hummmmmm so
really would be hard to say I say no but if it went on for 5-10 yrs or
more and fell in love with someone else even tho I was not looking would
I then don't honestly know what I would do.

Not sure what I just rolled into but I would have to say no it would not
be fair to her for they planned a future together til death due them
part I feel he should stay true to his vows since he is still taking
care of her he less should go out all the way showing her that he meant
his vows. This is my take on this issue:)

sluggo i'm sure i'm wrong but i guess the diffrence for me is she's
dying and it just seems wrong.

See the problem with Alzheimer's disease is even though the person is
completely gone mentally there is no way to predict how long they will
live (because the body functions are completely fine). In the story I
relayed the Husband started to become close to a Lady Friend at Church,
a few years after the Wife was put into the Care Facility (who was fully
aware of the situation). After the wife passed away he married the Lady
Friend.

The Daughters, who lived out of state, were pissed off at the Lady for
coming into the picture before the Mom came into the situation (like
most of you sound). My Friend ripped his two older sisters a new A-hole
for trying to preach about morals while they lived out of state and
weren’t there for their father: He also pointed out if they were closer
to the family that their father might not have looked for Comfort else
where.

Either way it goes it was a messed up situation….

Sorry, right or wrong, on this situation I have to side with my friends
Dad.

Only a genuinely sick in the head person would think it was OK to cheat
on an ailing spouse.

Wow...I think I was just called a "genuinely sick in the head person"
...even thought I don't know if they slept together. Thanks for showing
your Depth zzzzzz ;-)

I'm sorry guys but this time I do understand what Sluggo is saying first
unless you have been around someone with Alzheimers and the severe cases
of it you have no ideal what that does to the one that has it and the
loved ones around them. It is not something that one gets better from
once it starts it is all down hill. First of all if ya really read what
Sluggo said you would be thinking differnt. One the man never gave up on
his wife he was there till the bitter end no matter what he did , he did
not disgrace there love or there marriage in public for anyone to know.
If there was more than comfort between the two the man never let anyone
know that. He married the other lady after his wife died. How many can
say they would have waited that long that others never knew? And would
you not want you spouse to at least find someone else to live there life
out with if you ended up with a diesese that was life threatening to the
point that there may be many years of you not even knowing who they are
much less yourself? Alzheimers is not an easy diesese to watch slowly as
it takes there minds away from them my aunt had Alzheimers but God took
her before she reached that stage of no return. It is hard to watch and
talk to them as there memory slowly fades away all those years and phoof
there gone. But...... regardless what we say now until we are actually
faced with that situation we really don't know what we would do. No one
can face that all alone you have to have comfort in those times not
saying sex for no one knows if they did but they did have each others
comfort at a very trying time.

TXS, I just contribute it to ADD. Too many people don't have the
attention span to catch the details of a situation; they don't see the
grey areas and think everything is black & white (these are the people
that seem mentally challenged because they don't stretch their thinking
capabilities and when a devastating or complicated situation is
presented they fail to see the doors or options that are present in any
situation).

Well I do know that if it was me lying there not knowing anyone or even
myself it would be a comfort knowing before I lost my memory that my
spouse or partner would be there till the end with me to make sure all
my needs were taken care of. But.... in no way would I expect them to
put there life on hold and never have another to love or hold again. I
don't want them to lay down beside me and die with me instead I would
want them to live there life out and love again. Your friends dad even
tho the daughters could not see that there dad needed someone also to
help him through those times he was a gentleman in his actions and
respected the love for his wife more than most would ever do. He should
be admired for being there for his wife even tho she had no clue he
never left her side. Now things would be totaly differnt if it was
something that she had a possible chance of getting well.