Trust is something that has to be earned.

It sounds like you had earned J***’s trust so he finally told you the truth.

J*** made the mistake of not being fully honest up front. In my opinion this is easy to do when you don’t really know someone (e-mailing & talking on the phone just does not hack it when it comes to knowing someone).

The only thing he can do at this point is try to prove to you by his actions, not just his words that you can trust him again. That is of course only if you let him. He will have to understand that it is going to take allot of time and love for you to ever fully trust him again, if can’t or is unwilling to do this then it is time to move on.

Otherwise people are human and they make mistakes, sometimes very big mistakes.

As a retired military person, I know that when your overseas you try to hold on to everyone you have in your life and sometimes you don’t tell them everything because you don’t want them to worry about you or have a false impression.

The best of wishes for you and J***.