1-800-needs-tires

why do we need to vote on it?

lol! good story

that sucks....but welcome back

do you have anyone in mind?

reliant

it'll be close to three thousand four hundred and thrity-eight fooking times

ty

shes good.....hows Bubba

You are driving in a car at a constant speed.

On your left side is a valley and on your right side is a fire engine traveling at the same speed as you.

In front of you is a galloping pig which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it. Behind you is a helicopter flying at ground level. Both the giant pig and the helicopter are also traveling at the same speed as you.

What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?

Answer below:



































Get off the "Merry-Go-Round" -- you're drunk.

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night & have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out & make love for the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time & the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time & all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house & meets his
girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in! " The boy goes inside & is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace & bows his head. A minute passes, & the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass, & still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over & whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious.” The boy turns, & whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."

A husband wrote the following letter for his wife and left it on the
dining room table:



"To My Dear Wife,

You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being
54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and
value you as a good wife. Therefore after reading this letter, I hope
that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending
the evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel.
Please don't be upset - I shall be back home before midnight."


When the man came home late that night, he found the following letter
on the dining room table:



"My Dear Husband,

I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being
54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that
you are also 54 years old. As you know, I am a math teacher at our
local college. I would like to inform you that while you read this, I
will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is
also the assistant tennis coach.He is young, virile, and like your
secretary, is 18 years old. As a successful businessman who has an
excellent knowledge of Math, you will understand that we are in the
same situation, although with one small difference. 18 goes into 54 a
lot more times than 54 goes into 18. Therefore, I will not be back
home until sometime tomorrow."

Could he be a killer clown from outer space?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5_RkYXlmXE


How many can you count?


I counted 14

Chris

i usually spend my days off working on the house, playing golf or just relaxing

Dog

it got to 80 today, actually a lil too warm, but i'm sure you northerners would love it if it was 80 where you are

Wesley Chapel, FL

Mullet, not only a hairstyle, but also a fish