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Topic:
Everything Chinese
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I wish I had a pork dumpling!  ..... coming right up, though I'm not so sure which ones you like!!! But these are all delicious!  
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Topic:
Everything Chinese
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    Gone but not forgotten....! |
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I know... You'd think they'd take turns !  And that's entirely your own fault for putting them under one roof (harem-like)!!!  I would have thought you were wise enough to place them in different dwellings and visit on appointed days of the week....hehehe!  
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For now........Devildog, Ellerose, Pansy, M&Ms........ they are somewhere so near yet so far..!!
For later..... Zippy, Ana, Teal, Dadcat, Zee, Missy ...... if I ever get to go where you guys/gals are at! I'll continue to dream for now. |
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********** Wife Abuse Must Stop ! *********** (So, how do I get them to stop hitting me ?) LOL.......!!  You probably deserved it..... for starters, too many wives!!!!! 
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I was actually warned by friends that knew my ex about him. I didn't listen. I thought maybe it was gossip or something. Even though I learned the hard way, I am grateful to my friends for speaking up and were always my friends from beginning to the end. They didn't push the issue but they cared enough to say something to warn me...that's how I look at it anyways BTW thank you for this topic. It is still therapeutic for me to talk about it Sorry that it happened to you, and thanks for sharing this. That is why I feel that even though the potential abusee may not believe a word I say, it is our DUTY to warn the person of the possibility that this could happen, and at least, let them be aware and know what to do. And like some of our posters say.... offer a hand and a safe haven for them in case it does. |
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Topic:
Everything Chinese
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For when you want to know when the new or full moon days are, just look up the Chinese calendar.....
 The Chinese Calendar China and many Chinese communities around the world use the Chinese calendar, which predates the Gregorian calendar. The Chinese calendar is a lunisolar calendar that is used to determine important festival dates, such as Chinese New Year. Lunisolar calendar The Chinese calendar is lunisolar. It is based on exact astronomical observations of the sun's longitude and the moon's phases. It attempts to have its years coincide with the tropical year and shares some similarities with the Jewish calendar. In both calendars, an ordinary year has 12 months and a leap year has 13 months; and an ordinary year has 353-355 days while a leap year has 383-385 days. In Modern Society Although the Chinese calendar originated in China, the Gregorian calendar is used in China for civil purposes in modern times. However, the Chinese calendar is still observed among various Chinese communities around the world. It is used to determine festival dates, such as Chinese New Year, as well as auspicious dates, such as wedding dates. It is also used to determine moon phases because it follows the moon. |
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It is different for men...it's just like when people say women can rape men. now you lost me,,i had a friend we'll say,,this friend was only 14 and a 34 year old woman druged and raped him..kinda f ed him up for a few years whe it came to having sex, yes men can be raped!!! having dealt with young men who were the victims of abuse and rape, this comment is very ignorant. men and boys can be and do get raped. even if it may not often be made public, it leaves emotional destruction as it would for a female. It is not the same for men, I'm definitely not ignorant, thanks. Estelle Estelle...... let's agree that men can be abused and raped. If a woman is bigger in size and stronger than the guy, or she resorts to drugs or restrains, it could happen. And even if the woman is smaller in size and if the man doesn't retaliate, she could well scratch his eyes out, and or injure/mutilate/kill him! Even though I may be over 50, my experiences and exposures to these kind of incidences is still not enough, and so, it is wise to accept other feedback that such incidents can and has been known to happen. So, let's not turn this into a 'man bashing' thread.......and thank you for your opinions!
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My input is this: By all means, warn the potential abusee. Be prepared for the likelihood that that will do NO good. Then, provide the most important thing you can - Be that person's safe haven. Be the one that listens, that cares, that offers a comfortable alternative to what the abusee knows and lives. In short, be the friend that he/she needs. It's possible that YOU are the only one in the abusee's world that does so. I think if you know a man is abusive, you should let the woman know If i were in the shoes of the potential abuse victim, i would be very appreciative of the warning. Id rather go into a relationship with both eyes wide open, rather than with one eye shut. If it was a friend, ( and even though it is none of my business) I would ask her if she was o.k... that I know what is going on and I would give her my opinion about that type of man. I would also offer to help her get help... if she needed it. I would prefer a friend telling me to mind my own GD business as opposed to me not offering help... even if I lost her as a friend. This is not difficult to answer to me. Maybe she won't believe if I warn her, maybe she will be with him regardless of the warning, but as a woman... Scratch that... As a human being, I feel it would be my duty to at least tell her. The decision on whether she takes a chance on him or not will be fully hers. I totally agree with you guys/gals. My first reaction if I saw someone I know being on good terms and getting into a kind of relationship with an abusive person would be to tell them that he/she was such a person, but hope he/she has changed, and tell them to be careful and take care of themselves. And offer that if they ever needed help, to yell...... yeah, I think that's me!!! I will just jump in.....me, no keeping my mouth shut on this kind of thing....no no no!!! Thanks |
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to be fair the thread should read WHEN THAY rais there hand,,MOST ppl would rather turn there head at a woman putting her hands on a man,,my ex had no problem beating on me from time to time,,and she was in law inforcement, it was no big deal, i would just hold her hands so she couldnt hit me,but afte 18 years of taking that,,will NEVER let a woman ever hit me again!!! Sorry guys/gals for missing out on this discussion. Work calls and not feeling quite right up there (migraine)! Thanks for all the comments/advice/feedbacks on your personal experiences on this matter of abuse. If I could edit the subject I would call it 'When he/she raises a hand.....'. Thanks, Nascar for pointing this out. And I agree that man/woman can be the victim. My sister's bro-in-law was once the object of his emotional/violent girlfriend. They would fight, and she would rain blows on the poor fellow, and on several occasions throw objects at him, including KNIVES!!! I always admired that he managed to keep his cool, like you did! Kudos, Nascar! |
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Goodnight, Ame. I hope your friend can see beyond him. Thanks, Teal and Ese! Hope to get some feedback....gotta get going to work too! |
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These are just some of the cases that I know of. How much would you say meddling is meddling?
I once plotted with some friends to help a girlfriend out. Her husband had been beating her, and she had made police reports and wanted to leave with her 2 young sons. But he prevented her, kept her passport and I believe still abused her. She came on the pretext of visiting relatives and sought our help. We took her to the embassy, they helped her make passports for her and her boys, and told her where to seek help. They taught her how to keep her location a secret.....we were not even told where she went. Would you say we helped break up the family or did we help an abused woman? |
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And imagine, if you knew he was a brute, but out there in the social circle, everyone is gushing about how good he is, how kind he is, and how well he is treating his current gf, how lucky she is, and all in all, not seeing him for who he is. I swear I will not be able to keep my silence.
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The thing is I know, he knows, she knows, we all know..... but she (the new gf) doesn't know. As a friend, shouldn't I tell her that he was such and such, and caution her?
What if he was worse than he was before, and my gf died? I would never be able to live thru that. |
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Yes..... but before the decision making, as a friend, wouldn't you want to at least let her know what kind of a person he is?
Say, for instance.... he is dashing, he is handsome, he is rich, he is popular with everyone, and everyone thinks he is good, and so on so forth.... but they do not know about his temper, and his other bad points! |
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I remembered when I found out that my sister had been abused by her husband. Her neighbor told her sister who was my classmate, and she told me. We couldn't believe it then, but that explained the times when she had bruises and said she banged into the door, and all that excuses.
My dad confronted the husband and banged his fists on his car (my normally quiet and soft spoken dad....I had never seen him so furious) and my brother grabbed a chopper (I had to close the door and prevent him from leaving the house). This brought matters to the surface, and my sister left him, but he came and hovered around the house, apologized, begged for forgiveness and she returned to his side. Some of my siblings couldn't understand why..... but I respected her decision. But he hit her again and she left, and they got divorced. It was an on and then off again relationship for them over the years. Now.......my question, if you knew someone is an abusive person, what would you as a friend, a sibling, a parent, or a stranger, do! If your friend than gets into a relationship with this abusive person, would you warn her? Has he changed? If he has not, then? I wouldn't want someone to have to go thru' hell and then only tell them that we knew! |
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Topic:
Everything Chinese
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A drop of Chinese blood somewhere in there!!!
   
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Topic:
>>>Breakup lines<<<<
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I hate to say it, but I was once told 'there are more beautiful girls out there'! So, I said 'fine, go and find them then' and I walked out the door! It was late at night, and there I was in my heels and no cabs around and a long way from home. It was a good thing he came after me, we made up, but we broke up soon after that. Karma bit him.... cos' he invited me to his birthday bash at one time and I was the cause of the breakup with his then girlfriend. She couldn't believe why he wanted to invite me to his house....again! Believe me, him saying that was a manipulation tactic. He was trying to convince you, you are lucky to be with him. Like he is doing you a favor & you should be grateful.. I had one tell me, ' You will never get anyone better '  Too young to know better than...... try it this time round, I would have chewed his 'head' off! I like to think I'm tougher now than I was. But life does play games with you, cos' of all my ex-bfs' I am still friends with him. And he remembered that incident and apologized for being a 'dick' then. And my husband used to be so so jealous of him and why I should still be friends with an ex-bf. LOL! |
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Here's proof  There's no such thing as "too pretty to work". Oh come on, Pancho.....I'm prettier than that!  You absolutely are, Ame. But you still work. See my logic.  LOL, just joking .....this picture always makes me laugh! That face can really get to you. I have always worked from young and hope to until a ripe old age! I don't believe in idling....maybe cut down on the work load, but not on all work. |
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Here's proof There's no such thing as "too pretty to work". Oh come on, Pancho.....I'm prettier than that!
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