Natural selection is just the mechanism that leads to adaptation/speciation and, while there are things about the process that we still do not understand, the framework has an overwhelming body of evidence to support it. The notion that evolution occurs isn't disputed by leading biologists, so that might not be the aspect on which to focus for your book.

A couple of areas that are yet major mysteries are abiogenesis (i.e., origin of life on Earth) and the Cambrian explosion (i.e., relatively short period -- 20 to 25 million years long -- in which major diversification of life took place). Because these are genuine mysteries, you can take the story in basically any creative direction you like without worrying about explaining away established scientific models. You could, for example, have an alien race seed the planet with life to produce a specific outcome, or you could interject a divine hand in the Cambrian era -- whatever you like. Another fascination is that human DNA has been discovered to contain bacterial genes, which could be a launching pad for your book if you wanted to explain humans as being genetically engineered from other animals.

As for Charles Darwin, even if he were racist it would have said nothing about the validity of the evolutionary model. There is, however, an ongoing ad hominem attack against him with the intention of discrediting him and his ideas and any science that has built upon his initial findings. Here's a bit of information separating fact from fiction that you may find interesting: [http://www.revcom.us/a/156/creationist_big_lie-en.html]

Regardless, I recommend reading a whole lot of biology texts from scientists who work in evolutionary study and belong to the academy of sciences -- i.e., people actively involved in the study of genetics and heredity and evolutionary science. The more you know and understand about these processes, the better you'll be able to weave a tale within that context, making your story more foundational and believable. Good luck in your writing.

I haven't seen "Fifty Shades" though, regrettably, I did read a few paragraphs of the first book. Awful. Bad plot, with bad writing, based on another bad story (Twilight).

From what I've heard from others who disliked the "Fifty Shades" movie, a much better alternative is the 2002 film "Secretary" featuring James Spader and Maggie Gyllenhaal (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0274812/). I haven't seen it, but intend to.

Some people place a lot of importance on the meaning of sex in a relationship and to what it means to their self-respect, and other people are much more relaxed about it. I don't think it's necessarily one way or the other. If you think sex is considerably more important on a level beyond the intimacy of the moment, then you probably wouldn't want to be physically intimate too early in a relationship. If you don't take sex very seriously beyond the act itself, then do what feels right to you in the moment. One other thing I will point out is that not all first dates are created equal; if you have been chatting long-distance with someone online for weeks or months and you feel like you've gotten to know that person quite well, it might not be as introductory as a run-of-the-mill first date with someone you met at a bar. Don't do anything because you think you're "supposed to" and don't do anything you aren't comfortable doing, but otherwise do what comes naturally if you feel so inclined.

Lower Limit = (Your Age ÷ 2) + 7
Upper Limit = (Your Age x 2) - Lower Limit

Well, for some people I think it matters a lot whether they date interracially. From my perspective, what other people do when it comes to dating is their own business, whatever their reasons may be. So, yes, in that regard my answer is, "yeah, who cares?"

I'd say it simply depends on the situation. Some societies and families place such high importance on the continuance of deep traditions that the only option is to keep within that society — which typically means within the same ethnicity. Also, there's something to be said for having a similar background for compatibility. That's not always the case, obviously, but it can be something to consider when pursuing lovers (or friends, business associates, etc. for that matter) — and sometimes the exact opposite is true, and those cultural differences offer an avenue for complementary personalities to converge. And, of course, physical attraction plays a huge role, both in people being attracted to those who share similar racial background and in people being attracted to others with significantly different features from their own. I think it's highly individual and people should pursue whatever makes sense in their own circumstances. I support interracial relationships and think any deep connection one can have with another, regardless of ethnicity or skin color or whatever, is a rare, precious thing.

The only regret I have is that I've had regrets.

No, it's not a bad thing. Not everyone who wants sex needs or desires a relationship. Some people want to play a bit without any real commitment. There's nothing wrong with that. We're a highly sexual species, and people hook up for mostly sexual reasons all the time. Find someone who wants the same thing as you do. Enjoy it. Just don't lead anyone on and you'll be fine.

Well said, msharmony. The internet is wonderful, but if anyone is looking for a match for a relationship, then wading through hundreds of people who aren't likely to be a match takes the focus away from the group that is most attractive to the seeker. It's a numbers game, for women in particular who find they have a LOT more online suitors than men have, and it sometimes becomes necessary to make cuts summarily.

I consider that to be a travesty. It isn't love. It's statutory rape — even if the state allows for it. I don't believe a 16 year old is mature enough to make such decisions and is certainly not emotionally ready for a serious commitment of this sort. Most people in their 20s aren't ready for real commitment, and to thrust that upon a confused 16 year old is criminal. The parents see dollar signs and are thus selling their daughter into an unhealthy arrangement. It's sick. Society imposes certain conventions to protect minors, and this is a case in which a minor needs some protection.

I think this gets a little off topic, however, since I don't think people here are talking about child abuse when referring to a significant age difference. At least, I hope nobody is advocating for such.

I'm just tossing in my 2¢ here, playing devil's advocate — since I really do believe that it's generally a non-issue if two people connect and want to be together. If someone is posting in community chat asking for advice, however, it might be that they are concerned that there are hidden problems if s/he were to become involved with someone significantly older or younger. It seems there could be a legitimate concern, perhaps afraid that there wouldn't be enough common ground between them, or afraid of being hurt or hurting someone younger who isn't emotionally ready, or suspicious of the motives of someone hitting on them from a different generation, etc. Honestly, I figure if people genuinely enjoy one another's company, despite any age difference, then they should relax and enjoy each other, but I do understand why some people might feel a bit awkward about it and want to discuss the situation a bit.

Hi massagetrade. How's it going? I agree it's just steve4life who's being difficult, but I don't know if he's just playing or if he's serious. I suppose it doesn't matter.

I sincerely hope you stay, cherylb01. This is actually a really good community with many supportive people who take a real interest in others. Don't let the occasional rotten apple spoil the entire bushel. You're gorgeous and you seem like a really nice woman from what little I've seen of you, so I'm sure you'll soon have your pick of men — black, white, hispanic, or whomever. Enjoy your search, and enjoy the community.

Here's the advanced search page: http://mingle2.com/search/preferences.

Don't give up. I changed my search settings to find all male members of Mingle2 who list themselves as being "Black/African descent" (with "any" for all the other settings, since I don't know what other characteristics interest you) and was given a results list of 10,000+ matches. So, while black men may be a rarity in the community chat, they do exist on the site.

Good luck in your search.

Oh, we're doing jokes? Sweet! Ahem… if you can't keep it in your pants, keep it in the family.

There are a few things to consider:

1. There's no blood relation, so genetic abnormalities in resultant offspring isn't a concern.

2. Some states are more strict about what constitutes incest than others are, so there may be a legal issue depending on where you reside. It's probably worth consulting with someone knowledgeable of the law.

3. Some religions — e.g., Catholicism — consider romantic relationships between stepchildren to be illegitimate. If there are strong religious convictions among members of the immediate family, it may be worth learning what the specific religious objections may be.

4. Like it or not, there is a stigma against such relationships, so they should be aware of the ostracism that is likely to come from friends and family.

5. Before genetics were well understood, there was a pragmatic reason for disallowing incest in any form: It was a distraction within the house, detracted from chores, and could be a source of conflict. Although this isn't a true instance of incest, it is important to be aware that a relationship of this sort may cause conflict and end with people "taking sides" if the relationship ends poorly.

6. All of this assumes that the step-siblings are of legal age to have sex, of course. If that's not the case, the parents are risking serious legal action if anyone learns of the sexual activity taking place in their household.

If the children are grown and don't live under their parents' roof, I see no serious problems. There are social conventions that will likely be obstacles, but if they can deal with it then it's their own business.

I'm with SilentlyScreaming on this. While I think it's important that people share certain core values, if a relationship is going to have flavor after a year, five years, 20 years, etc., there needs to be enough differences to make the journey together interesting and fresh. Thinking alike and feeling the same about everything may sound like the golden ticket to lasting happiness, but I'm afraid that the adage "familiarity breeds contempt" will kick in very quickly if there's so little distinction between one and his/her partner.

It looks to me like the question (i.e., the title of this thread might have been chopped short). I'm not sure that the question is only about age. 45 certainly isn't too old to date, and some of the sexiest women are in their 40s and 50s, so I'm not sure that's the full scope of minglesmingle's question. Perhaps she would care to elaborate? *hint hint*

I feel like there is a lot of focus in this topic on race without taking into account cultural differences. I don't mean to completely dismiss the idea that a white woman may be attracted to the features of a black man (e.g., darker skin, etc.) or that there may not be a fascination with the black=bigger stereotype, but there is clearly another element of attraction that rarely is mentioned when discussing why people date "outside their race" — which is to say, when one goes out of his/her way to date someone of a different race. Perhaps more than any other factor, there is the issue of a cultural difference that attracts some people to one another.

Even though it's not true, there is a feeling among many non-Hispanic white people that their own culture is lacking in a rich heritage and strong ethnic tradition. We often think of our ethnic heritage as "vanilla" and think that other cultures and ethnic backgrounds have much richer traditions, but a lot of this feeling comes from being so familiar with our own heritage that others seem more exotic or festive. I will say that a lot of white people seem to lack a connection to their diverse ethnic backgrounds, but that's our own failing and could be easily remedied if we were to take a greater interest in our ancestral histories and the cultures whence we came. But, it's easy to see with many white people (and others, for that matter) that there's a sense of greener pastures and an excitement in hopping cultural fences.

I don't want to belabor the size issue, but it seems to bear mentioning that it's a self-propagating stereotype. By that, however, I don't mean that it's fully accurate; I've read essays by black men expressing displeasure with the stereotype because there is a sense among black men that they cannot cross the "color barrier" unless they fit the stereotype. Being "average" just doesn't cut it. So the majority of black men who are comfortable dating outside their "race/color/ethnic background" tend to be the ones who are packing a bit extra, which further promotes the stereotype. Although it seems like a great stereotype to have, and even black comedians like Tracy Morgan have joked about liking the stereotype, the truth is that it limits race relations and eats away at the black man's psyche and sense of self. ChangeofHeart has, apparently, encountered several white women who are infatuated with the size stereotype and, myth or not, it's unfair to judge anyone as an individual based on a perception of the extended collective.

Anyway, ChangeofHeart, I hope you find someone who is a good fit for you — emotionally. There are a lot of great people here — and all over, really — who are looking for something meaningful and who aren't wrapped up in silly stereotypes or cultural nuances. Women generally want to be loved and accepted and to have their insecurities melt away when they are with you. If you can make that happen, not much else matters. Good luck to you.

It sounds like you have something devious up your sleeve that you don't want me to be able to avoid. Ha!

But, I think you'd find that having my mouth available for use would be much more enjoyable all around.

And, yeah, I really like that picture — albeit doctored — perhaps one of the best things I've created in such a short timespan (taking me something like 10 to 20 minutes in all).

My place or yours, ArtGurl? And, are we using a safeword?