... This is an interesting post, obviously starting off in a humerous way, but hitting a chord with the Uber confident amongst us. When I was younger, I wasn't confident, I was arrogant ~ I KNEW I was better, stronger, smarter, faster, and I thrived on the 'power' of intimidation. No better rush than getting in another guys face, challenging, and winning either because they back down or you're the one who walked away better off. As I grew into myself, I started to realize that being a **** to someone for no reason just made ME look like an asshole.Funny how that works. So now, I am still an extremely confident sort of guy, in alot of areas, but it is tempered by understanding who I am as a man, knowing what my limits are, and respecting other people as who they are. But I have to admit, every once in a while, when that guy cuts in front of you to steal that parking spot in front of Costco 2 days before Christmas, when you've been waiting for 15 minutes, it sure would be fun to have a personal conversation with him ...

OK, my first response is to be a hard ass about it, and join the crowd by saying "Sure, one lie now means twenty down the line". But, I suppose it really gets down to the nature of the lie, and what motivated it to be there in the first place. Was it embarrassment about something ? Being fragile of ego isn't an excuse, but it is understandable. Was it to hide something about themselves that is incriminating in some way ? Stupid, but understandable. Was it to make themselves seem more ... 'impressive' than perhaps they really are ? Dumb. But understandable. Since you specified it as a White Lie, I would say let it go, but remember the circumstance for future referrence so that if it happens again, you know what to do.

...When I'm down, I'll say a little prayer, then go work out for a couple hours. Works like a charm.

... I've had this happpen a few times in my life, though it seems it never happened when I thought I needed it to, but the timing was always perfect nonetheless. One in particular strikes me right now: I had this book lying around my book shelf forever, I picked it up a few times, but never read it. Then one day, as I was mulling over the terrible slights that had been done to me, thinking of the people that MADE me make those decisions that put me in this awful position I was in, I read it. "Who moved my cheese". In the beginning, I'm thinking 'OK, I could have written this, this is beneath me, a child's book', but as I continued to read it, the very simplicity of it became oh so clear ~ the older we get, the more complicated we tend to make things. Then I got to the end, where a very simple question was posed to me, the hapless reader: "What would you do if you weren't afraid". I was awestruck. How could I have not seen this ? I thought about that one line for the rest of the day, and that evening as well. It was a supreme paradigm shift, where everything is exactly as it was a moment of before, but that one additional piece of information changed everything. Suddenly, I had an extreme moment of clarity with so many things: my relationship was where it was because I was AFRAID of offending the one I love; my career wasn't what I wanted NOT because of those people that worked against me, but because I was AFRAID of failure, so I didn't go for what I really wanted; I even realized that I was unhappy with my boring life because I didn't go after those adventurous hobbies. Why ? Because I was afraid of looking stupid. "What would you do if you weren't afraid". Amazing. So, now it goes to you, hapless reader ~ what is an epiphany YOU'VE had ?

... You know what ? That's an excellent point, I'm glad you pointed that out ...

... This is an interesting topic, I'm glad you posted this. I have had an evolution of sorts in this area. My instinctive response had always been to be extremely good to the girl I'm with ~ make sure she's happy, satisfied, all that. Then I had a horrible breakup, where everything was blamed on me (I know now of course, that it takes 2), and my very next girlfriend was a spoiled brat; I had it in the back of my mind that I was NOT going to screw up this relationship, so I let little things go at first, which became bigger as time went on, until I finally hit my limit 18 months later, freaked out, moved out. My next love was long term, 9 years ~ perfect give and take, no complaints. After that ended, I fell in love HARD for this girl ~ I mean I worshipped the ground she walked on, she could do no wrong in my eyes, I would have, and did, anything for her ... including letting my love for her overtake my own principles and standards of how I expect to be treated. I LET her treat me without respect, but it came about so gradually, I didn't see it until I'd developed a pattern with her. In the end, I found out she'd been cheating on me, that ended it badly. So now, I know this about myself: I will treat my girl very well, I will enjoy keeping her happy, but I will never allow my own self respect or principles to be compromised for another woman ~ they will not respect a man who does that.

Trust me, you will forget this in about 7 minutes, but it's interesting in the meantime, and a bonafide scientific fact: Lions have a non-retractable claw in the tip of their tail, which is covered by a tuft of fur ...

... Thanks ~ you're the first person to actually say 'welcome to Mingle' !

... I have two quotes that have great importance to me:



* "It's never too late to be what you might have been"

* "The heart has it's reasons, which reason knows nothing of"

... you almost had me there with the whole piniped pic, but you, my dear, are hot. Period.

... agreed, that does depend on which Ex; my former wife ~ sure, absolutely, no questions asked. Our relationship ended, but that doesn't change the fact that she's a wonderful person. Now, the ex-girlfriend that crushed my heart into miniscule pieces ~ I would contemplate it heavily, have a little chit chat with her, but yeah, I'd probably still do it; that she was a heinous wench to me doesn't mean I have to lower myself to her ****ty level. I think I've always the 'go to' guy that everyone can depend on, driving someone home, bailing people out of jail, protecting a buddy who picked a fight with the wrong guy.

... As I initially set up my profile a few days ago, I was griping to myself about my pics ~ I don't like pics of myself, I'm just am not a photogenic person ~ those that know me in 'real life' would say I'm fine in person, not so in pics. So, that got me to thinking ... since the vast majority of us tend to react differently to someone that's pretty or handsome, especially in a dating environment, do you take into consideration the question of whether someone is photogenic when looking at the different profiles ? I actually caught myself NOT doing that. What are your thoughts ?

... Wow. Well, my 'G' rated response it that you look absolutely delicious. I may have to peek again ...

... No, you are definitely not ugly. In fact, I think you are quite beautiful. I've met some pretty girls here and there, but it's rare to see someone as lovely as you who doesn't have a ridiculously high opinion of themselves. So, you're fine. Extra fine ... :)