Who's to say race or religion doesn't count? Perhaps those things are actually included in some people's standards. That's the thing about diversity.

I've watched a lot of "nice guy fails", i've even been there, and done it myself. many women seem to be more attracted to "bad a$$" guys with no desire for anything but sex. used to be, back when there was discipline in our society, women kinda grew out of that phase, in our modern society, its as if we can see how discipline gradually dropped from one generation to the next, as the age seems to increase in these women who seek these "thug type" men, who've no ambition, live for the moment, possibly covered in tats, maybe even ex cons, but not all women are that way, women in general(no offense ladies)seem to be completely wired by their emotions. For example: you know how often times young girls, by their kind heartedness, seem to want to adopt every stray animal that comes along? Well I'm beginning to wonder if later in their age, perhaps the kind heartedness carries over towards their relationship choices. Often times I have seen beautiful, ambitious women take up with what seems to be some of the most unambiguous, unemployed, immature men that really have no ambition whatsoever in life. It's like they just feel bad for them, and the next minute..they steal the woman's heart away. the guy may even treat the woman badly, its like, the worse they treat her the more she wants him, and still she'll chase him to the end of the world.......these are the ones that you can easily be weeded out by use of standards in efforts to seek compatibility. You want a relationship...right? You will definitely never find it with someone who is not motivated to look for good qualities as far as someone who will be competent, reliable, loyal, and ultimately meet every quality that makes them worthy relationship material. Besides....who wants to be a "bad a$$"? There's a fine line between die hard and re tard. Lol. If the women seeking this wants a relationship through a plexiglass window on visitation day....that's there choice. I admire a bit of intelligence in a woman....more so, I admire independent loyalty, it's much harder to live for a person than it is to die for them. Real hero's are never recognized....real killers don't advertise. Hope this post is informative...good luck to all in what you seek

No problem

Alabama and Michigan I do believe good sir

He's got a good point....?

Hey man....they're just trying to give you a little constructive criticism, there is a good chance they could somewhat be right about being "too nice", however, the way you have to look at the whole thing is that it was a learning experience. Mistakes could have been made on your part, however, they could have been made on their part as well. Now, there's a fine line when it comes to being nice to strange women.....always be polite, but never kiss a$$. In order to successfully find a relationship with a women, you must first find yourself. Think about the kind of person you are, think about things that are a MUST HAVE in your ideal perfect woman, think about important things for example: does she believe in God? is she a liberal or a conservative? does she support homosexuality? what is the longest relationship that shes been in? Is she ambitious? try to focus on things that reflect her moral values, personality, and ethics. think about certain things you feel strongly about, and develop your own questions and answers. if you have to, sit down and write it on a notebook piece of paper. answer your own questions, then next time your talking to a woman, ask her the same questions (gradually..not all at once) and see how your answers match up. What you will be developing at this point is called standards.... If you really wish to find someone who will make you happy, you must use these standards to seek compatibility. Whatever you do...don't give in to a woman out of desperation or out of intimidation by her appeal, and never tell them what they want to hear!! Be straight forward with them, be polite, but straight forward. If you happen to run across a question you both disagree on...don't be afraid to express to her that you disagree and that you are seeking compatibility and feel that to go any further would be a waste of time...she may take it well, or she may not...regardless, you have successfully weeded out what does not meet your standards and you are then free to move on to another. Always remember that you've never lost anything that you never had in the first place, oh, and there's nothing wrong with being a nice guy, you just have to learn to recognize people who wish to take advantage of you, and learn how to lookout for your interests. I hope this helps you out man....good luck on your search- never give up!!

I will have to respectfully disagree with you good sir....in a sense your right, by all means, enjoy life a little, however, one must plan ahead in order to meet goals and work towards their ambitions. If they don't...it generally means they have no ambition, nor any intention on creating a better life for their self in the future. If people work hard, make mistakes and learn from them now- they will not have to work as hard, and will be more educated in the future, this leaving those with no ambition whatsoever, the ones who never planned ahead, to pay for all the enjoyment they had in their later years. It's a give and take world...you can't just take and take some more- someone's got to pay for it. You either give now or give later, that's how it works. Personally, I'd rather work hard and plan ahead now, while I'm young and able, then be trying to do it when I'm old and decrepit Lol.

Depends on the motive....at least, as far as a healthy relationship goes.

I think you missed the point....

I say again....don't quit every time things get a little bit difficult. It's not always the good times, but how you get through the hard times that makes you. Quitting can never be an option. Some people may say...just quit, but marriage isn't for some people either. It's much easier to die for someone than it is to live for them.

Well...I reckon I'm glad your all quitting- less competition for me!!

Cool story bro,

Well, it's a proven fact that liberal minded men, no offense, are much less valued by "the marrying kind", which is mostly conservative women with good morals and family values. They generally tend to look for "problem solvers", guys who care about things...like their country for example. Bottom line is...if your going to find what your looking for, you have to give it an honest effort. When I say..what are some things you could change about yourself, I don't mean actually change your personality...you honestly can't. You could try, but it would only result in contradicting yourself and ultimately driving yourself crazy, especially if it was to please a women. You've just got to be honest with yourself and come to terms with who you really are. Listen to your conscience, are you doing the best that you can as far as what's right and what's wrong? You have to give to receive. Nature always finds a balance. Right and wrong aren't very difficult things to understand, it's actually applying them that many people seem to have trouble with. Women, especially the kind you speak of, tend to notice someone who puts forth an effort to help out instead of people who want to degrade everything that stands in their way. There's nothing really wrong with you...it's almost always the fashion of in which you go about looking for what it is you seek(men in general). Some common things women look for in a marriage is competence, reliability, consistency, and loyalty. Due to the fact that modern society has seemingly became so "tolerant" and "open minded", 2/3 of marriages now days end in divorce. So...what you have to do if you are looking for a lifetime commitment is to sit down, figure out exactly what you want in a life time partner, and then put that to work for yourself. When you start talking to women again, start asking more questions pertaining to your standards for compatibility. You want a woman that you are compatible with if you are to share your life together...trust me. Think about your own views, ask her questions pertaining to that, not all at once, just gradually. For example: how do you feel about firearms? Myself, being extremely pro firearm and an avid hunter, I would have to have a lady who doesn't mind guns, and that was just a mild example, you have to work your way into more important things like religion, and politics, things that really reflect the lady's moral values. If you ever find what your looking for, then take pride in her, take care of her and she'll take care of you. If you really put forth an honest effort, you will have no doubt in your mind that you can have faith in the woman. You will have taken initiative to ask her questions, spend time with her, and this don't happen over night..this can take anywhere from at least 8 months to a year, maybe more depending on many variables.
be there for her, be dependable, you can't just quit every time things get a little bit difficult, you must maintain confidence, not only for yourself but for the sake of the relationship, and for the welfare of your family. i hope this helps you out man...take care...and good luck

You can't just quit every time things get a little bit difficult....push on!!! Strive to find what your looking for- put forth an honest effort, and you'll find it. I hope you find this encouraging not to give up...regardless of your decision...good luck

Hey....I learn something new every day

Throughout my lifetime....I've come to find that the question, "what are women looking for?", has been asked by men since human beings were able to communicate. personally, I find it difficult to try to judge a woman by what she's looking for, being that women are probably the most unpredictable creatures on the planet. I tend not to lean towards "what they are looking for", but "how much effort are they putting forth to find it". Women, like men, are all looking for different things, the difference is that women are more wired by their emotions, they tend to easily change their training of thought from one minute to the next by what they happen to be feeling at the moment. I've studied methods of many "so called" pick up artists, and believe it or not- they tend to work quite well, however, they are useless as far as finding a women that fits the description of what your looking for. For example: if a man were to use these so called psych methods(which I am against) and be lucky enough to land a beautiful girl and become attached, they are likely to find their self contradicting everything about their own personality in order to meet the standards of this lady they are trying to please.....this will do nothing but make you miserable for the rest of your life, given that she doesn't leave first, if your luck, out of her own misery on account of y'all not being actually compatible. The best method I've found for finding women you enjoy being with is just being very straight forward, be inquisitive- ask her questions pertaining to your views. Seek compatibility and a "like mind". I mean..basically just tell them like it is- never just tell a woman what she wants to hear, despite how attractive she may be, by all means be polite, but don't be afraid to calmly express your views on anything you may disagree on, and if her looks meet your standards but her morals, ethics, and personality do not, it's best to just let her go and walk away. Nobody should be miserable, and perhaps she'll meet someone else's standards just as you will, ultimately making life better for the both of you. Hope this helps answer your question..good luck

Hey man...I know exactly where you are coming from....the thing about "normal" is- everyone has their own definition of it. Nobody's perfect...therefore, everybody's perfect...at least, for somebody. I do understand what you mean though, I too have dated some "fruitcakes" ha ha ha ha!!! I think a lot of times people just get nervous when they first meet someone...especially women(no offense ladies) women are, and many will agree with me, generally wired by their emotions. The key to success in finding exactly what your looking for is not telling them what they want to hear. When I'm talking to a lady, I generally start off by not showing any emotion, I maintain eye contact(if in person) and I ask them questions pertaining to my standards as far as desirable traits. Being a very conservative, old fashioned guy, I'm very straight forward. I'm polite, but I I know what I want. When I ask them questions, if their answers do not match up to what I'm looking for, I do not hesitate to tell them that I'm seeking compatibility and I just don't think that we should waste out time. Sometimes they take it well, sometimes they don't, the bottom line is- you've weeded out what does not meet your standards. This can often be very difficult for some if the woman is very attractive in appearance, but like anything else, you must maintain discipline. Now I understand that looks are likely to be included in your standards, and rightfully so.....I too want an attractive lady, who doesn't? Lol? It often comes to reason though, if you work really hard at it, and do it right, be patient, and use your head, you can find and have all of your desirable traits. You can find the woman of your dreams!!! Someone who will like you for who you really are, someone you will really like for who they are, a lady you can take pride in!! I hope this helps you find what you are looking for. Good luck

I believe that you are absolutely correct and I agree with you %100 good sir. I've actually seen first hand, many spouses actually die just shortly after the death of their beloved. It's crazy how things like that effect people ain't it though?

So....it's crazy how often times, many(not all) women, seem to be completely wired by their emotions. For example: you know how often times young girls, by their kind heartedness, seem to want to adopt every stray animal that comes along? Well I'm beginning to wonder if later in their age, perhaps the kind heartedness carries over towards their relationship choices. Often times I have seen beautiful, ambitious women take up with what seems to be some of the most unambiguous, unemployed, immature men that really have no ambition whatsoever in life. It's like they just feel bad for them, and the next minute..they steal the woman's heart away. Lol the guy may even treat the woman badly, and still she'll chase him to the end of the world, now I reckon why that is? This is merely a question...no offense intended towards anyone who may be unemployed or anything

Well maybe I can help you

Ask yourself:

What am I looking for?

Do I honestly feel like i've give it your best effort to find what i'm looking for?

Do I tend to quit every time things get a little bit difficult?

At what maturity level am I at, am I ready to commit myself to a relationship?

And if all else fails:

What are some things I can improve about myself to make myself more desirable to the kind of women I'm attracted to?


Hope this helps you....good luck