Leigh2154; sounds a lot like the rules for joining the scientologists to me, too...

if you want the real deal, maybe you should try raising C'thulhu from his dark & maddening slumber - if you don't pick up, rest easy in the knowledge that you - and everyone else on the planet - has perished in a most horrifying & uniquely hideous manner. Check out his starry wisdom church for more details...

...so you wanna talk magik?

Lads 'n' lasses: so you wanna get laid/find the [girl/boy/automaton] of your dreams/have a meaning relationship with [God/Goddess/Humanity/daDebil/Nothing]? Look no further than your own devious mind...

I for one whole-heartedly endorse & support our past, present & future queen, Eris (of the wholly delusional order of Discord), who brings chaos to all, tosses golden apples into the midst of your soiree, squirts {insert your favorite/most despised flavour here} milkshakes from here saggy, 23-year-old breasts and eats dick for breakfast, lunch & dinner (from 'both ends', if you get my meaning).
Not only will she fulfill your wildest fantasies & grant you your fondest desires, she will also send you reeling with madness and crying to your mommy AT NO EXTRA COST!

Invite her into your heart today - consult your pineal gland.

This has been a message of the Church of the Order of the Five-Sided Ourobouros (Legion of Dynamic Discord sect).

Here endeth the lesson

Dear Ladies (& Gentlemen, for that matter),

'Hi' as an introduction is rarely going to be sufficient to catch someone's interest: it certainly isn't going to cut it with me. If you're going to put an effort into contacting someone, at least try and put some content into your message.

Or am I being too demanding..?

"If you see the Buddha on your travels, push him into the road"

"The Tao that can be spoken is not the "

anyone for tennis?

Really? Okay...

the Buddha is in town one day, and he's getting a bit peckish. He spots a hot-dog vendor on the street, so he strolls on over to him. The Buddha walks up to the hot-dog vendor and he says "I'd like a hot-dog, please." The hot-dog vendor says to him: "Sure thing, buddy - what do you want on it?"

...and the Buddha replies "Make me one with everything."


Next..?