Wow, someone who finally gets it. it was a joke.....lighten up people..

OMG!!!! You women just don't get it. I Haven't read one good ad on here yet. Obviously you need help and are just to embarrassed to ask. Well today is your lucky day! Dry those tears and pay attention because I am going to improve those dead-end ads. The purpose is to make men desire you, want to know you, want to devote attention to you with all their money, time, money, energy, and money.

1st) Don't write "I am educated". Don't tell us, show us. Write an intellectual paragraph about yourself and we will know without you telling us. Even if you are educated I caution you on showing too much wisdom because then the 25-35 year old men that still live with their Moms might feel intimidated and not respond to your ad.

2nd) One woman writes she is AA. Try writing to create positive images to the men. AA could be bra size, alcoholics anonymous, or her brain uses a pen lite battery. Doesn't matter which scenario is correct because they are all negative. Therefore, leave it off. However, if CC or DD is accurate you might want to tell us. In fact, the ultimate way is the same as the education tip. Don't tell us, show us!

3rd) Some single Moms write using desperate adverbs and adjectives and conclude with, "take
things slow and see where it goes from there". Non-sense! If he has any possibilities at all you are going to give it up on the first date anyway. You think when he reads the "take things slow" he will believe that you are saving it for someone special? I take it back, leave it in there because he will email you first knowing you are easy . Space constraint, have to go. Ladies, email me if I can be of further service.

Do you remember a few years back when Dale ( #3 ) drove the yellow Corvette at Daytona for the 24 hour race..he was exhausted..!!
That's a real race..not how many laps or how many miles..it's how many hours of endurance..with a few driver swaps in-between..I wonder if a Nascar car would hold up for that long? I doubt it..
a Nascar race lasts what?? about 2½ - 3 hours if that?
I would love to see Mark Martin do 24 hours at Daytona or LeMans.

N = Non
A = Athletic
S = Sport
C = Caters
A = Around
R = Rednecks

F1 needs to come back to the US..and I mean besides a few laps once a year at Indy..it sure beats IRL and the now defunct Cart series..
but my personal favorite is the IMSA races..like the 24 hours at Lemans!

I had an ex-girlfriend throw a dinner plate at me with hot food on it..( pork chop )
The good thing is I never re-acted or touched her!
I called the Sheriff's department, the deputy decided to separate us and she spent the night with her kids in the local battered woman's shelter.
See, it happens to men too..just depends on how you handle the violence and abuse.
funny thing is, there is a double standard to this..if I were to throw the dinner plate, I would have been arrested and then would have to go through anger management classes, she didn't have to..and I think thats very unfair!

what amazes me is all the time wasted on a joke...

Why does it take a woman longer to climax then a man? Who cares ?

that reminded me of the Bob and Tom's morning show and the woman song:

She's a woman
She's a woman

Ladies and gentleman, the woman song

She's a woman, yeah
She's a woman

I am woman, hear me roar, if you don't open my door
I can do anything that a man can do, but I don't have too
Oh the female sex has a lot more class
unless we're lookin' at a male stripper's ass
I'm a twenty-first century gal, but I can't set my VCR

She's a woman, yeah
She's a woman

Well I am not your hooker but your still gonna pay
Cause sex is a special thing and a darn good weapon
Because my body belongs to me
Until I get dinner, and a movie
I don't sleep around, until I do a credit check

She's a woman, yeah
She's a woman

And I have a mind of my own, which I change every two seconds
And I'm not afraid to ask for directions cause I can't fold a map
And I stand behind my man
So I can nag him as much as I can
And I can fight in combat but I can't kill a spider

She's a woman, yeah
She's a woman

And I never tell a lie, but I will fake an orgasm
Cause I am the real McCoy, except for my boobs and my face
And I don't take drugs and I don't drink booze
But I am addicted to buying shoes
And I'm very proud of my age, which is none of your freakin' business

She's a woman, yeah
She's a woman!

No, it's more like the "iron and steel" concept...Mom "irons" and dad "Steals" the fresh pressed pants and shirts..lol

W = Washing
I = Ironing
F = Fornacation
E = ETC..

If I could have a Christmas wish come true...
I would wish for nothing but wonderful things to come to you.
In your life, which is so precious to me.
May troubles, worries, and problems never linger; may they only make you that much stronger and able and wise.
And may you rise each day with sunlight in your heart, Success in your path, answers to your prayers.
And that smile that I love to see always there...in your eyes.

Wow, good thing you didn't tell them what W.I.F.E. really stands for... or why wedding dresses are white.

1.) the money issue was over my holiday gift check from my Aunt, and how to spend it.
2.) the key issue was all about helping her do household repairs..I fixed her bathroom sink drain, helped her install a new clothes dryer. and repaired the leaky shutoff valve for her water heater.
3.) was never engaged
4.) not living together

I decided to set some "Personal Boundary Limits" so that I wouldn't make the same mistake twice.
We got to talking about a subject that I didn't want to discuss with her( money ).
I was nice at first telling her I didn't want to discuss it, but she kept on.
I explained once again I didn't want to talk about it.
the third time I explained that I was getting upset and really didn't want to talk about it, and that it wasn't her concern.
She started on me for a fourth time..I decided to gather up all my stuff. I returned her house key.
She said I was abandoning her and she slammed the door on me as I was walking away.
How many times must you tell someone that they're upsetting you?
What do you have to say before they will stop and listen?
I drove home, felt great and a load of stress was removed from my shoulders.
I didn't swear, I didn't act up..I was calm and cool..I just grabbed my stuff and said Goodbye nicely..
Now, I wonder if I did the right thing?
What do you think?

Taken, unavailable, self-centered, self-serving and selfish..God I love this site!!

Great topic!! I enjoy reading the replies..it's amazing to see how people are so conditioned as to not offend anyone..all this P.C. going on around here..as if no one can express their opinions in fear it will hurt someones feelings.

I agree. the camera is tacky...but even worse is your location...OMG!! chics see all the clutter behind you and they'll think your a pack rat! location, location, Location...

Doesn't the song by Buck Cherry describe dating a mental woman?..I think the title of the song is Crazy B***h

FDLE motto:
Blame it on the dead guy! less paper work!!
Last year the FDLE issued playing cards to all inmates.. trying to solve murders they are unable to figure out...I hear series 2 will be arriving shortly, another 52 unsolved murders..
the deck of cards is almost as popular as the mini bibles they get from the inmate chapel..then again I did see one inmate use the 23rd psalm as a piece of rolling paper..and No, this wasn't a joke..

And it only took the Florida Department of Law Enforcement (FDLE) 27 years to figure it out...Amazing!!
Wonder if they'll do better with Caylee?
somehow... I doubt it...