I decided to set some "Personal Boundary Limits" so that I wouldn't make the same mistake twice.
We got to talking about a subject that I didn't want to discuss with her( money ).
I was nice at first telling her I didn't want to discuss it, but she kept on.
I explained once again I didn't want to talk about it.
the third time I explained that I was getting upset and really didn't want to talk about it, and that it wasn't her concern.
She started on me for a fourth time..I decided to gather up all my stuff. I returned her house key.
She said I was abandoning her and she slammed the door on me as I was walking away.
How many times must you tell someone that they're upsetting you?
What do you have to say before they will stop and listen?
I drove home, felt great and a load of stress was removed from my shoulders.
I didn't swear, I didn't act up..I was calm and cool..I just grabbed my stuff and said Goodbye nicely..
Now, I wonder if I did the right thing?
What do you think?

You did the right thing it is like rape when one says stop means STOP

Kinda hard to tell if you were right or wrong, really depends on the particulars of your relationship. First date? Definitely out of bounds. Living together? Well, yeah, it's her business to some extent. Serious relationship, headed to a more serious place? Then, yes, again, she has the right to know, to some extent, about your finances. If you are or are potentially going to be living together, your finances affect her, just as hers would affect you.

So, whether you were right or wrong really just depends. But, if you were comfortable doing what you did, then you weren't in the same place as she was in the relationship and it's probably best that your gone.

Sorry, forgot to put this, no, she should have definitely stopped when you said you weren't comfortable discussing it.

Actually, if you already had a key to her place, but were refusing to talk about anything to do with money, it was time for her to ask for the key back.

You may not of said it this way, but you were pretty much saying that "you don't need to know anything about what I earn because this relationship is never going anywhere".

By accepting a key to her place, you were accepting a certain level of commitment in the relationship. If you aren't ready for that level of commitment, then don't accept a key next time.

You...did get some...before you left...didn't you??? Seriously...unless your married, I don't think it was her business...

I would discuss it a whole lot sooner. Before getting to the point of even getting engaged. That way you can avoid people who move in and then 'lose' their job and think they don't have to do any more in the way of job hunting than post their resume online and sit back and wait, and wait, and wait.....


Anyone that refuses to discuss money or work when they have a key the other person's place says they really don't take the person seriously. Which means they don't take the relationship seriously. Which means they are only interested in the sex and are just using the other person. It would also make me wonder what they are hiding and why they are hiding it and I would probably stop trusting that person.

depends on how long you've known each other and how committed you are to each other. You had a key to her apartment she might have wanted to know if you could afford your fair share of the bills.

1.) the money issue was over my holiday gift check from my Aunt, and how to spend it.
2.) the key issue was all about helping her do household repairs..I fixed her bathroom sink drain, helped her install a new clothes dryer. and repaired the leaky shutoff valve for her water heater.
3.) was never engaged
4.) not living together

they were living together it was her business

disregard my post above.. if you werent living with her then it isnt her business how you spend your money

You look hot missy..is that a new outfit???

Chicks man. They always want to spend a man's bonus money or a gift that he received. You should have acted like an 8 year old, and said, "It's mine.....mine....mine...MINE....MINE!!!!!!". And then sat in the middle of the room, on the floor, pouting. Yeah...that would have shown her.


Dude, you did the right thing. You asked her repeatedly to stop, and she wouldn't. Can't say you didn't warn her.

Then you did the right thing.

I'd say it's none of her business. Your not living together and it was money your aunt gave you as a gift you should be able to spend it how you wish not how she wishes.

lol...ill show ya later !!!!

You made the right decision. I hate it when I give help to someone, and they constantly demand even more help.

I have a key to my best friends house in the UK and he has a key to my place in LA
that doesn't mean he knows all my finances or I know anything about his
typically you give an inch they ask for a yard

see what happens when you let women wear shoes?