what is "real" to you?

You are exactly correct Ms. Mayann

Well, first thought is to climb out of this miry clay of a pit I put myself in. Also to elevate above all the infedelity that I allowed myself to endure. I am in the process of rebuilding myself and getting closer to loving self. I know down deep in my heart that I'm not ready for another serious relationship. but would love to have companionship to help get my mind off of what eats at me everyday. I know I have to forgive myself and thank the person who chose infedelity. I lost myself in the midst of a 6 year marriage. Now that I have come to terms and accepted that I was wrong, it's time to move on. I'm feeling heartbroken and trying to figure out what step to take first. While the other half is continually having fun. I was pushed away from a roof over my head, wheels under my feet to a house that doesn't have water and a couch full of dog hair that makes me itch like crazy during the night. I toss and turn and stay up late hours of the night missing the comfort of my bed. Then start thinking about my kids not having to witness this homelessness and loneliness that their dad is experiencing. I left everything! But now it's time to rebuild and do things differently. by starting off and making friends. instead of jumping head first into false hope relationships. Feel free to give advice.