There was a competition to swim from Santa Monica to Catalina
Doing only the breaststroke
The only three women who entered the race were a Brunette
A Redhead and a Blonde

After approximately 14 hours, the Blonde staggered up on the shore
She was declared the fastest breaststroker

About 40 minutes later, the Redhead crawled declared the second place finisher

Nearly 4 hours after that, the Brunette finally came ashore
And promptly collapsed in front of the worried onlookers

When the reporters asked why it took her so long to complete the race

She replied
"I don't want to sound like I'm a sore loser
But I think those two other girls were using their arms"

A Russian, an American, and a Brunette were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were the first on the moon!" The Brunette said, "So what, we’re going to be the first on the sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can’t land on the sun, you idiot! You’ll burn up!" said the Russian. To which the Brunette replied, "We’re not stupid, you know. We’re going at night!"

Q. How do you get a redhead to argue with you?
A. Say something

Q. How do you get a redhead's mood to change?
A. Wait 10 seconds

Q. If you love a Redhead, set her free
A. If she follows you everywhere you go
Pitches a tent in your front lawn and puts your new girlfriend in the hospital
She's yours

Q. What's safer, a redhead or a piranha?
A. The piranha. They only attack in schools

Q. How do you know a guy at the beach has a redhead for a girlfriend?
A. She has scratched "stay off MY TURF!" on his back with her nails

Q. What do you call a Redhead with an attitude?
A. Normal

Q. What does a redhead, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common?
A. Men always miss them

Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A. A redhead!

Q. How do you know when your redhead has forgiven you?
A. She stops washing your clothes in the toilet bowl

Q. How do you know when a redhead has been using a computer?
A. There's a hammer embedded in the monitor

Q. What's safer: a redhead or a piranha?
A. The piranha. They only attack in schools

Q. How do you know when you've satisfied a redhead?
A. She unties you

What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common?

A: You keep hearing about them, but never see any.

The blonde reported for her university final examination that consists of yes/no type questions.

She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes and then, in a fit of inspiration, takes out her purse, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin, marking the answer sheet: Yes for heads, and no for tails.

Within half an hour she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is still sweating it out.

During the last few minutes she is seen desperately throwing the coin, muttering and sweating.

The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on.

"I finished the exam in half an hour, but now I'm rechecking my answers."

In a small Texas town, Drummond's bar began construction on a new building to increase their business. The local Baptist church started a campaign to block the bar from opening with petitions and prayers. Work progressed right up till the week before opening when lightning struck the bar and it burned to the ground.
The church folks were rather smug in their outlook after that, until the bar owner sued the church on the grounds that the church was ultimately responsible for the demise of his building, either through direct or indirect actions or means. The church vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection to the building's demise in its reply to the court.

As the case made its way into court, the judge looked over the paperwork. At the hearing he commented, "I don't know how I'm going to decide this, but as it appears from the paperwork, we have a bar owner who believes in the power of prayer, and an entire church congregation that does not."

So, I'm walking through WalMart and my eye catches a fake-flower bridal bouquet (with box!) at the end of the aisle.
I wondered, I have to admit, what bride would pick up her bouquet at WalMart? - Then I realized I was observing WalMart's marketing brilliance at work.

The bridal bouquets were only three aisles over from the shotguns...

A man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her breasts in the mirror.
He asks, "What are you doing?"

She replies, "I went to the doctor today, and he told me that I have the breasts of a 25 year old.

The husband retorts, "Well, what did he say about your 50 year old ass?"

She replies, "Frankly dear, your name never came up."

Looking at the headlines at the BBC website this morning, I noticed the following "teaser" in the Science/Nature section -

Great tits cope well with warming



My first reaction was "Well, duh!"
My second reaction was "Is this also true for boobies?"

is it abcd or what

tommy saaek

yaa it is

hi

anybody who has some time to chat is welcome

hi

thank you

hi thanks for the welcome

didnt get that credit card part

Just thought of droping a big hi to all the people here