What do you call a judge with no thumbs?
Justice Fingers.
What do clouds wear under their clothes?
Thunderware.
What's an archeologist?
Someone whose career is in ruins.
What does a cat sleep on?
A caterpillow.
What does a king do when he burps?
He issues a royal pardon.

That is what india stands for so clear up your misconceptions about it

Q. Who is the GM of Hewlett Packard (hp) ?

A. Rajiv Gupta




Q. Who is the creator of Pentium chip (needs no introduction as 90% of the today's computers run on it)?
A. Vinod Dahm


Q. Who is the third richest man on the world?
A. According to the latest report on Fortune Magazine, it is Azim Premji, who is the CEO of Wipro Industries. The Sultan of Brunei is at 6 th position now.

Q. Who is the founder and creator of Hotmail (Hotmail is world's No.1 web based email program)?
A. Sabeer Bhatia

Q. Who is the president of AT & T-Bell Labs (AT & T-Bell Labs is the creator of program languages such as C, C++, Unix to name a few)?
A. Arun Netravalli



Q. Who is the new MTD (Microsoft Testing Director) of Windows 2000, responsible to iron out all initial problems?


A. Sanjay Tejwrika




Q. Who are the Chief Executives of CitiBank, Mckensey & Stanchart?
A. Victor Menezes, Rajat Gupta, and Rana Talwar.

Q. We Indians are the wealthiest among all ethnic groups in America , even faring better than the whites and the natives.
There are 3.22 millions of Indians in USA (1.5% of population). YET,
38% of doctors in USA are Indians.


12% scientists in USA are Indians.
36% of NASA scientists are Indians.


34% of Microsoft employees are Indians.
28% of IBM employees are Indians.
17% of INTEL scientists are Indians.
13% of XEROX employees are! Indians.


Some of the following facts may be known to you. These facts were recently published in a German magazine, which deals with WORLD HISTORY FACTS ABOUT INDIA .
1. India never invaded any country in her last 1000 years of history.
2. India invented the Number system. Zero was invented by Aryabhatta.
3. The world's first University was established in Takshila in 700BC. More than 10,500 students from all over the world studied more than 60 subjects. The University of Nalanda built in the 4 th century BC was one of the greatest achievements of ancient India in the field of education.
4. According to the Forbes magazine, Sanskrit is the most suitable language for computer software.

5. Ayurveda is the earliest school of medicine known to humans.
6. Although western media portray modern images of India as poverty striken and underdeveloped through political corruption, India was once the richest empire on earth.

7. The art of navigation was born in the river Sindh 5000 years ago. The very word 'Navigation' is derived from the Sanskrit word NAVGATIH.
8. The value of pi was first calculated by Budhayana, and he explained the concept of what is now k! nown as the Pythagorean Theorem. British scholars have officially published that Budhayan's works in 1999 which dates to the 6 th Century which is long before the European mathematicians.

9. Algebra, trigonometry and calculus came from India . Quadratic equations were by Sridharacharya in the 11 th Century; the largest numbers the Greeks and the Romans used were 106 whereas Indians used numbers as big as 10 53.
10.. According to the Gemmological Institute of America, up until 1896, India was the only source of diamonds to the world.

11. USA based IEEE has proved what has been a century-old suspicion amongst academics that the pioneer of wireless communication was Professor Jagdeesh Bose and not Marconi.
12. The earliest reservoir and dam for irrigation was built in Saurashtra.

13. Chess was invented in India .


14. Sushruta is the father of surgery. 2600 years ago he and health scientists of his time conducted surgeries like cesareans, cataract, fractures and urinary stones.. Usage of anaesthesia was well known in ancient India .
15. When many cultures in the world were only nomadic forest dwellers over 5000 years ago, Indians established Harappan culture in Sindhu Valley ( Indus Valley Civilisation).
16. The place value system, the decimal system was developed in India in 100 BC.


Quotes about India .


We owe a lot to the Indians, who taught us how to count, without which no worthwhile scientific discovery could have been made.
Albert Einstein.




India is the cradle of the human race, the birthplace of human speech, the mother of history, the grandmother of legend and the great grand mother of tradition.
Mark Twain.



If there is one place on the face of earth where all dreams of living men have found a home from the very earliest days when man began the dream of existence, it is India .
French scholar Romain Rolland.



India conquered and dominated China culturally for 20 centuries without ever having to send a single soldier across her border.
Hu Shih


(former Chinese ambassador to USA )




ALL OF THE ABOVE IS JUST THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG, THE LIST COULD BE ENDLESS.

bull **** and absolutely rdidiculous grow up we did but we want u to be also

Only stalkers look at other people's away messages!

Two words guys hate... don't & stop unless you put them together

YOUR COMPUTER IS NOW INFECTED WITH A BAD VIRUS. But...
If you want to fix your computer, do what these directions tell you:
Type the following into your favorite write program (Microsoft Word, Notepad etc.):
Type an M
Type an I before the M
Make a space after the M
Type a P
Type a D after the P
Type an S right before the P
Type a U Before the P But after the S
Make a Space after the D
Type an R
Type An O BEFORE and AFTER the R
Go back to the begining
Type an A before the S and then make a space
Go to the end
Type an M Before the first O
Go to the middle
Type a T between the S and the U
Type an I inbetween the P and the D
Go to the very end.
Type an N
Now read the code out loud.

I'm stalking you, that?s why I'm not here.
If a tree falls in the woods... Do all the other trees laugh at it?
If I'm not back in 10 minutes, avenge my death.
If life gives you lemons, throw them at some one!
In my bed, care to join me?
Incase of fire scroll down!! . . . I said in case of a fire dummy!
Instructions on how to keep an idiot busy: Read instructions again.

A Few Funny Away messages

I'm stalking you, that?s why I'm not here.
If a tree falls in the woods... Do all the other trees laugh at it?
If I'm not back in 10 minutes, avenge my death.
If life gives you lemons, throw them at some one!
In my bed, care to join me?
Incase of fire scroll down!! . . . I said in case of a fire dummy!
Instructions on how to keep an idiot busy: Read instructions again.

I'm somewhere over the rainbow. Try and get me

I put the 'fun' in 'dysfunctional'.
I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over him again.
I smile because I don't know what's going on :)
I still miss my ex, but I'm getting better at AIM!
I think that getting struck by lightning is the worst way to die. Its like God's drive by shooting.
I threw rocks at the campus clown again, so if the police show up at your door, we never had this conversation...

Gettin arrested, back in a few years

Dr. Seuss' lost tounge twister
see if you can do this:
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is dumbass cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat.
Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top. Betcha you can't resist passing it on.

Did you know by reading this message you have wasted 14 seconds of your life?

1. They always wear protection
2. They have great hands
3. They are used to scoring
4. They have great stamina
5. They find the opening and get it in
6. They never miss the target
7. They know how to use their wood
8. They have long sticks
9.They know when to play rough
10. Because baseball players only know how to hit balls

Liquid Plummer
Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages.

Windex
Do not spray in eyes.

Toilet Plunger
Caution: Do not use near power lines.

Dremel Electric Rotary Tool
This product not intended for use as a dental drill.

Arm & Hammer Scoopable Cat Litter
Safe to use around pets.

Bowl Fresh
Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from toilet.

Endust Duster
This product is not defined as flammable by the Consumer Products Safety Commision Regulations. However, this product can be ignited under certain circumstances.

Baby Oil
Keep out of reach of children

Little Ones Baby Lotion
Keep away from children

Hair Coloring
Do not use as an ice cream topping.

Wet-Nap
Directions: Tear open packet and use.

Dial Soap
Directions: Use like regular soap.
Stridex Foaming Face Wash
May contain foam.

A woman sought the advice of a sex therapist, confiding that she found it increasingly difficult to find a man who could satisfy her, and that it was very wearisome getting in and out of all these short term relationships.
"Isn`t there some way to judge the size of a man`s equipment from the outside?" she asked earnestly.
"The only foolproof way, is by the size of his feet" counseled the therapist.
So the woman went downtown and proceeded to cruise the streets, until she came across a young fellow standing in an unemployment line with the biggest feet she had ever laid her eyes on. She took him out to dinner, wined and dined him, and then took him back to her apartment for an evening of abandon.
When the man woke up the next morning, the woman had already gone but, by the bedside table was 200$ and a note that read, "With my compliments, take this money and go out and buy a pair of shoes that fit you."

At a dinner party, several of the guests were arguing whether men or women were more trustworthy.

"No woman," said one man, scornfully, "can keep a secret."

"I don't know about that," huffily answered a woman guest. "I have kept my age a secret since I was twenty-one."

"You'll let it out some day," the man insisted.

"I hardly think so!" responded the lady. "When a woman has kept a secret for twenty-seven years, she can keep it forever."

A professor is giving the first year medical students their first lecture on autopsies, and decides to give them a few basics before starting.

"You must be capable of two things to do an autopsy. The first thing is that you must have no sense of fear." At this point, the lecturer sticks his finger into the dead man`s anus, and then licks it. He asks all the students to do the same thing with the corpses in front of them. After a couple of minutes silence, they follow suit.

"The second thing is that you must have an acute sense of observation: I stuck my middle finger into the corpse`s anus, but I licked my index."

A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet.

"I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds."

When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds.

"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you follow my instructions?"

The blonde nods. "I'll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day." "From hunger, you mean?" said the doctor.

"No, from skipping," replied the blonde.