Or you could just give up on "hot" find someone who is average, with a healthy (not over-inflated by all the "your hot" "your pretty" comments) self-esteem, and level head that will love you for you. Then all the hot bit€hes (guys and girls) will be left to date and deal with each other.

Lord, its so funny both sexes complaining. Hello, you have a bad relationship with one personality type and keep going after that same type- duh you're going to get effed over. Both girls and guys that keep complaing they keep getting hurt, these girls keep going after the goodlooking/hot douchb@gs and these guys keep going after the sexy/hot bit€hes why are you surprised when you realize they are douchb@gs and bit€hes that are not going to change. You want to change the out ome of your relationships, change the type of person you have them with. I mean its natural for people to be attracted to "hotness," but everyone needs to not be blinded by whats on the outside, then get emotionally invested and get burned, after seeing and saying to yourself "this person's hot," talk to them and actually listen to and process the words coming out their mouth, when you sense the other person is a jerk get up, walk away and find someone else.

How do you know she's happy? Maybe thats why she gained the weight, she deals with stress/unhappiness through food. You should talk to her, just say you want to talk, for the both of you to completely honest without fear of judgement, admit to her that you have cheated bc you felt something was missing in your bedroom, tell her think part of your problem is you don't like her current weight, you love her and don't want a divorce, but you've cheated and still aren't satisfied (obviously bc your searching for more mistresses) bc you did not love your mistress, ask her if she feels unhappy-what you can do to help, suggest doing more physical activity together (go for walks, swimming,biking, whatever activity she enjoys, if she doesnt know you can find out together) and eating healthier (get more green vegetables, they "cleanse the digestive system which can make a person feel sluggish), its a healthier way to releive stress than over-eating, you'll be showing your wife you care and you truly want to stay with her, she will end up losing weight, her life span will be lengthened, then you both will be healthier to try new things in the bedroom and keep variety in your sex lives.

Now, obviously you don't have to listen to me- I mean I'm 24, never had a boyfreind, a virgin, and on the heavy side myself- but you sound like you are looking for validation for cheating, and you will never find it. You can keep lying to yourself, saying you love your wife your not doing this to hurt her and she wont get hurt bc she will never find out. But there is NO secret that can be kept forever. It will come out and when she does you will hurt your wife so deeply, she could regret the day you came into her life.

if I was your wife this how I would like to be approached. If I was approached in this way, I could forgive and work on the problem as long as there were NO feelings WHATSOEVER for the mistress and only used her body for sex.Instead of waiting untill I find out about cheating through some other avenue, bc then I would just think that the guy loved someone else other than me, Then I'd want to leave his azs and take him to court for everything he is worth, take the kids (if you have any, or if they still live with you), move to the other side of the country to make visitation hard and expensive as he11 for him. Basically, I'd try to make the cheater as broke as possible and life as miserable as possible- but There is no way for me to know if your wife is like me :-).

Bottom line, leave the mistress(es) and talk to your wife to find what is bothering the both of you at your cores, then work on them together, you took an oath to have and to hold each other, you have to support and rely on each other. Now, if she doesnt want to work on it with you and prefer a divorce then, at least you were honest and you can find a single someone who satisfies you sexually and has a personality you can learn to love.