Oh sure we could. :-)

ohhh Thank you. I am so touched that you think so. That is my favorite of hers...

no no no ! If they hurt each other it's on you. why not let them go scrub something dirty - a wall, the bathroom, the garage floor, the yard walkway, their sneakers, their knapsacks, something...let one be indoors and one outdoors and after they have done that work if they are still angry and belligerent then let them cut up vegetables ...no the knife might be a bad idea...well take the one who did a better job to some place nice and let the other one stay home alone - that might cause you to come and find everything wrecked...take them for therapy!!!

So...hi...I wonder if you got my post...if your kids are fighting badly they may need counseling from a pro...a child psychologist or psychiatrist if they are threatening each others' lives and destroying things...you can also try to send one by some other relative or adult they trust and you trust for a cool off time but be very cautious of this cause sometimes these people are the ones who molest your kids and they never tell cause they are threatened so...you decide...if you pray then by all means pray about it and pray with them and look up scripture that teaches about love and brotherhood/sisterhood and read it with them.
It also helps some times to give them a challenge and promise a reward you can actually really give them if they meet the challenge_ no fights for a week = a treat; give them something to do together and if they do it without a row give them something they want badly that you can give and not be sorry for later.
Peace comes when kids are assured of their individual worth and value and that they are loved. It also comes when you give them separate rooms or beds or changing areas or something that they are fighting FOR.
Give them each time with you alone and reinforce the bond you have- adoptees suffer from adopted child syndrome already and a kid who has not accepted an adoptee or an adoptee who bullies a birth child is serious.
If your issue is not fighting kids...then...What do you need help with?

lol...why in the world would anyone miss someone who hates their offspring?

Anyway, I have 5 sibs and I used to fight and disagree with my elder sister - who is 3.5 yrs my senior but very much my junior emotionally and so often we fell out for silly stuff like not being willing to share, needing own space, privacy issues and such which are not an issue when living separately like now but the 2 main things that really hurt me and I let her have it for were when she did something bad with me and denied it, and when she accused me of being rude to our dad and didnt ask a question as to why when she knew I was closer to him than any of the other kids and when I beat her rump my late mom parted the fight and took her side - that hurt - it was because the family favored her for her appearance - (she got the Italian blood line evident by skin color and hair texture and height while I got the Chinese height and eyebrows, and African color, and hair texture...)and as adults we still dont talk about that and still dont always agree with each other on certain issues but I am emotionally and mentally more grounded and stable. So I do like she is dead anytime a feeling rises up to feel sad about **** I cant change. Some people deal with trauma better than others. If the rivalry involves serious harm to other kids then seek counselling professionally.

lol...well girl, if that is the case then all who not getting to meet anyone in real trouble!?
Thank God that is not the way to know if I ready - I ready when I say Im done, Im healed, Im looking to grow forward and Im back to what I am busy doing

well if you feel u r ready then that is your time..it varies with everyone

lol...how did u figure that?

what? Wow! Which one of hers do u think it is like?

thanks Julie

I just saw H T Bushell's story, 'Love by Accident' (2020) directed by Justin G. Dyck. It was so good it made me cry (which i haven't done since 2020 when my mom died and I lost my whole family.) Very good acting...triggered something that helped me heal. It is a must see!

A Text in time

In this time where text messages are almost obsolete with advanced technology, I have to give thanks to God for the text that saved me from being homeless.
I have been a born-again believer in Jesus since 1982 and I have seen many answers to prayer and miraculous occurrences. One that stands out in my mind happened earlier this year when I was about to be put out on the street.
In 2018, I left a dangerous place I was living with a roommate friend and her children in, with the help of siblings, who searched for and paid the deposit and first month’s rent for me to find a place. I was living there on my own for 2 months, in that one-bedroom apartment, but as I could not find work to pay for the place, I had to leave.
I recall asking the landlady – who I knew attended a full gospel church and claimed to be a ‘Christian’, if she could allow me to clean her home in exchange for the rent. She said,
“No no no – I can’t do that.”
“Why not? Isn’t the place yours? Don’t you need help? I charge the same amount that is the rent.”
“No no. (chuckle) It is cash you agreed to pay for rent not service.”
“Okay. Can I live out the deposit then?”
“No. I don’t allow that. People like to take advantage of me and you feel that I should allow you to do that just because I go to church, right?”
“No, I don’t. People take advantage of me too so I understand that, but just this once can’t you help out a sister-in-Christ?”
“No no Christ has nothing tuh do with dis. Dis is business. I cannot do dat. If yuh don’t have the rent by the 28th of the month yuh have tuh go. People looking fuh place to live and plenty asking ‘bout the place. Yuh came in on the 28th February so yuh have to pay the rent every 28th not the last day of the month as you thought or the first day. I don’t care what you accustomed to, I accustomed to doing it so and that is when I want my rent. So if you don’t have it by then, well then you have to move out. It’s simple as that.”
So after I looked all over for a church that would be willing to help me and found no one cared to even say no but one church who could only give me a $100TTD bill from their collection plate, I had to go back to where I was living before. This was humiliating but I had no other option as the people who got the place for me did not even check on me or care that I had no job to pay for it. So I had to humble myself and call in a favor of the roommate friend I was living with before, who had to ask a favor of a relative with a Hilux four-door pickup truck to get my things moved out.
I lived in that place two months and was as stressed to leave it as if I was there two years and the woman had the temerity to ask me if I left it clean!
She returned my deposit to me and I got into a very full truck with my friend and their cousin and a neighbor who helped us move the furniture in return for some expensive coffee that I had, and we drove back to my past home.
No time to think of the humiliation – for when I got my things moved back to there I learned that the roommate also had to leave. She could not pay her rent either due to a cheque that she could not get cashed in time. She was often getting paid late or insufficiently by her clients and then there was the fact that she catered on credit and was owed money by a guy who avoided paying because he was of ill repute and thought she would do nothing about him as everyone was afraid of him. He refused to answer the phone to pay up so she was also in trouble. Then she was threatened indirectly by someone we both thought we knew who said that we would not survive if I went back there. So all of this led us to the stressful search for a place before the end of the month.
The search continued for places to live and for people to help move the things out by truck or car. We packed up all her stuff and put my stuff on top of hers as I had less. We slept on the floor on our sweaters as everything was packed and we waited.
No one called or came to help. We went to see places and they were too small, smelly, stink, dangerous for the kids and two single women to live in, and to close to drug areas or busy streets or racial people.
I even went to a well known Pentecostal church with a name I can't say for risk of libel charges - which was traveling distance from the place I was but I was so strapped for cash I walked the miles till I got to it. I was hungry and thirsty and tired but did not stop to rest but sought the pastor or anyone in charge, asking for financial help and someone with a truck to drop me and my stuff but did not get them to leave their precious church service to help me out of a jam. Sandwiches were being passed in front of me and no one offered me any. There were several people in the service with trucks but the ‘powers that be’ who looked at me with scorn as if I was a vagrant refused to ask the pastor preaching to interrupt ‘the word’ to make an urgent request announcing that a sister needed help to move to avoid being put out to the street. I heard the voice of the Lord saying ‘they are not ready for my return’ and considered breaking down in tears and making a scene but thought better of it as I walked out – to the stares of hundreds of attendees. I left in tears, hurt and distraught. As I stood looking at the church and vowing that I would not return to it unless I felt He sent me, I called on God for comfort and help. I told him, “Daddy G, you promised you would never leave us or forsake us and would be a father to the fatherless and husband to the husband-less and you are not a man that you should lie. I know you love us and did not like that those who claimed to be your own would rather sing and dance and pretend to worship you when someone came in the building for help and they were not able or willing to reach out to me – just because I was not someone ‘important enough’ like a celebrity and known to them (even though I was a member there for years) and I had a Mohawk haircut, no makeup or jewelry and was wearing simple street clothes – a shirt, jeans and sneakers and not dressed-up in the church garb that they think saves them and makes them acceptable to you. Please forgive them and forgive me for any time I was a snob. I know if I held them in mind I would not be forgiven so I release them; in Jesus’ Name. Please don’t let me be put to shame.”
Sun was overhead and the day was passing by and we found nothing, till I saw a number in the classifieds that I had not noticed before, even though both of us scoured it thoroughly, while searching for every rental in the areas we could go to for the prices we could afford.
I saved the number in my cell and went back to my friend and told her what happened. She comforted me and assured me (and herself) that God would not fail us and we would get something in time.
Then I decided to text the number and ask if they still had a place for rent at the price advertised. The reply that came back was a miracle in itself because that place and the price was hot and places were going for more and when they said,
“Yes, the place is still available. I will meet you at the junction in 30 minutes to show it to you” my friend and I hugged and cried.
We met the real estate agent who happened to be a born-again believer and new to the same church that refused to help me. She showed us that place and then four others in the same price range until we chose the residence where we lived until we got something cheaper. This was a miracle of God – the transport, the text, the price and the way everything was handled – despite many hours of painful waiting - His provisions were all just in time!
Years later, I got an email telling me someone had made an apartment for me to live in rent-free, and I moved into it 5 months before writing this; but that’s another story!

We don't get to choose who acts right towards us, but we can choose Christ and His unfailing love.

A Text in time

In this time where text messages are almost obsolete with advanced technology, I have to give thanks to God for the text that saved me from being homeless.
I have been a born-again believer in Jesus since 1982 and I have seen many answers to prayer and miraculous occurrences. One that stands out in my mind happened earlier this year when I was about to be put out on the street.
In 2018, I left a dangerous place I was living with a roommate friend and her children in, with the help of siblings, who searched for and paid the deposit and first month’s rent for me to find a place. I was living there on my own for 2 months, in that one-bedroom apartment, but as I could not find work to pay for the place, I had to leave.
I recall asking the landlady – who I knew attended a full gospel church and claimed to be a ‘Christian’, if she could allow me to clean her home in exchange for the rent. She said,
“No no no – I can’t do that.”
“Why not? Isn’t the place yours? Don’t you need help? I charge the same amount that is the rent.”
“No no. (chuckle) It is cash you agreed to pay for rent not service.”
“Okay. Can I live out the deposit then?”
“No. I don’t allow that. People like to take advantage of me and you feel that I should allow you to do that just because I go to church, right?”
“No, I don’t. People take advantage of me too so I understand that, but just this once can’t you help out a sister-in-Christ?”
“No no Christ has nothing tuh do with dis. Dis is business. I cannot do dat. If yuh don’t have the rent by the 28th of the month yuh have tuh go. People looking fuh place to live and plenty asking ‘bout the place. Yuh came in on the 28th February so yuh have to pay the rent every 28th not the last day of the month as you thought or the first day. I don’t care what you accustomed to, I accustomed to doing it so and that is when I want my rent. So if you don’t have it by then, well then you have to move out. It’s simple as that.”
So after I looked all over for a church that would be willing to help me and found no one cared to even say no but one church who could only give me a $100TTD bill from their collection plate, I had to go back to where I was living before. This was humiliating but I had no other option as the people who got the place for me did not even check on me or care that I had no job to pay for it. So I had to humble myself and call in a favor of the roommate friend I was living with before, who had to ask a favor of a relative with a Hilux four-door pickup truck to get my things moved out.
I lived in that place two months and was as stressed to leave it as if I was there two years and the woman had the temerity to ask me if I left it clean!
She returned my deposit to me and I got into a very full truck with my friend and their cousin and a neighbor who helped us move the furniture in return for some expensive coffee that I had, and we drove back to my past home.
No time to think of the humiliation – for when I got my things moved back to there I learned that the roommate also had to leave. She could not pay her rent either due to a cheque that she could not get cashed in time. She was often getting paid late or insufficiently by her clients and then there was the fact that she catered on credit and was owed money by a guy who avoided paying because he was of ill repute and thought she would do nothing about him as everyone was afraid of him. He refused to answer the phone to pay up so she was also in trouble. Then she was threatened indirectly by someone we both thought we knew who said that we would not survive if I went back there. So all of this led us to the stressful search for a place before the end of the month.
The search continued for places to live and for people to help move the things out by truck or car. We packed up all her stuff and put my stuff on top of hers as I had less. We slept on the floor on our sweaters as everything was packed and we waited.
No one called or came to help. We went to see places and they were too small, smelly, stink, dangerous for the kids and two single women to live in, and to close to drug areas or busy streets or racial people.
I even went to a well known Pentecostal church with the name Faith Assembly International - which was travelling distance from the place I was but I was so strapped for cash I walked the miles till I got to it. I was hungry and thirsty and tired but did not stop to rest but sought the pastor or anyone in charge, asking for financial help and someone with a truck to drop me and my stuff but did not get them to leave their precious church service to help me out of a jam. Sandwiches were being passed in front of me and no one offered me any. There were several people in the service with trucks but the ‘powers that be’ who looked at me with scorn as if I was a vagrant refused to ask the pastor preaching to interrupt ‘the word’ to make an urgent request announcing that a sister needed help to move to avoid being put out to the street. I heard the voice of the Lord saying ‘they are not ready for my return’ and considered breaking down in tears and making a scene but thought better of it as I walked out – to the stares of hundreds of attendees. I left in tears, hurt and distraught. As I stood looking at the church and vowing that I would not return to it unless I felt He sent me, I called on God for comfort and help. I told him, “Daddy G, you promised you would never leave us or forsake us and would be a father to the fatherless and husband to the husbandless and you are not a man that you should lie. I know you love us and did not like that those who claimed to be your own would rather sing and dance and pretend to worship you when someone came in the building for help and they were not able or willing to reach out to me – just because I was not someone ‘important enough’ like a celebrity and known to them (even though I was a member there for years) and I had a Mohawk haircut, no makeup or jewelry and was wearing simple street clothes – a shirt, jeans and sneakers and not dressed-up in the church garb that they think saves them and makes them acceptable to you. Please forgive them and forgive me for any time I was a snob. I know if I held them in mind I would not be forgiven so I release them; in Jesus’ Name. Please don’t let me be put to shame.”
Sun was overhead and the day was passing by and we found nothing, till I saw a number in the classifieds that I had not noticed before, even though both of us scoured it thoroughly, while searching for every rental in the areas we could go to for the prices we could afford.
I saved the number in my cell and went back to my friend and told her what happened. She comforted me and assured me (and herself) that God would not fail us and we would get something in time.
Then I decided to text the number and ask if they still had a place for rent at the price advertised. The reply that came back was a miracle in itself because that place and the price was hot and places were going for more and when they said,
“Yes, the place is still available. I will meet you at the junction in 30 minutes to show it to you” my friend and I hugged and cried.
We met the real estate agent who happened to be a born-again believer and new to the same church that refused to help me. She showed us that place and then four others in the same price range until we chose the residence where we lived until we got something cheaper. This was a miracle of God – the transport, the text, the price and the way everything was handled – despite many hours of painful waiting - His provisions were all just in time!
Years later, I got an email telling me someone had made an apartment for me to live in rent-free, and I moved into it 5 months before writing this; but that’s another story!

We don't get to choose who acts right towards us, but we can choose Christ and His unfailing love.

true. I was thinking the same thing.

lol

Thank you

"Our education leads to our beliefs, perceptions, assumptions and conclusions and are integral to our interactions.
So if we were taught, if we learned, if we perceived, assumed, concluded, internalized and believed inaccurate data then we will live inaccurately, based on lies.
Living lies makes it easy for us to be lied to. It makes it easy for us to tell what we perceive to be truth but which are further lies, and it makes it easy for us to tell lies.
The person you lie to might be lying to you. They might see right through you and your deceitfulness and succeed in making you think that you are deceiving them, when in truth, you are only deceiving yourself.
That’s the truth about lies. So don’t tell any more lies."

this is an excerpt from a piece of non-fiction prose
(C)2020 Veronica Adele