^^^^^^^^^^ Aren't love/hate relationships grand

Bad day at Hallmark



Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day........






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My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat

When I looked at the tire...

I noticed your cat.

Sorry!



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Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it...

She moved in with me.

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Looking back over the years

that we've been together,

I can't help but wonder...

'What the hell was I thinking?'







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Congratulations on your wedding day!

Too bad no one likes your husband.







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How could two people as beautiful as you

Have such an ugly baby?







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I've always wanted to have
someone to hold,

someone to love.

After having met you ..

I've changed my mind.







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I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.

I never believed in Hell until I met you.







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As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...

That you're not here to ruin it for me.







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Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...

Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

You'll probably need it again.







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Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in Tennessee , Kentucky , West Virginia & of course Hope Valley )







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Happy birthday! You look great for your age.

Almost Lifelike!







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When we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.

Now that we've broken up,

I think it's time you kept your promise.







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We have been friends for a very long time ..

let's say we stop?







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I'm so miserable without you

it's almost like you're here.







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Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

Did you ever find out who the father was?







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Your friends and I wanted to do

something special for your birthday.

So we're having you put to sleep.







))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))





So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.

Look at the bright side,

it's really good pay

Good so far..be better if the rain would stop,nice to see another Tar Heel

well ,well, well ..hey neighbor..I live in Wilmington

found a peanut,found a peanut,found a peanut just now,just now I found a peanut,found a peanut just now. There are other verses to that song,but they are just to disturbing....you being the sensitive sort and all.

Dan, just thought I'd stop in and show you some love and attention,I noticed you were being ignored and hardly had any friends and I kinda felt sorry for ya.....if you would just try to fit in a little better your thread wouldn't be lagging so

Hi and welcome ,good to see another familar face here.......Oh and just like the other place....ignore Phil and Dan

Well, Happy Birthday Sharon



And Ms Silver......slap some toothpaste on that bad boy it works

Now Judy,knowing Dan....need you ask

Hi ya Lisa

Massage Therapist,Hairdresser,Manicurist and Esthetician(skin care)by trade...but for the past 3 years Caregiver for my mother(she has Dementia and Parkinson's)and younger sister(she is moderately retarded and has epilepsy)

Ah,it just brings a tear of joy to my eyes to see threads like this.....yep home again

Jack.....what a wonderful surprise,good to see your charming self.

Well now, Barts gonna be really jealous...speaking of which where is he..I know he's a member


Hi ya Cindy

It's gonna hit us to (Wilmington,NC) so have a drink for me too MBD...I'll be hunkered down with my mom and sister. I live 5 minutes from the beach and what a difference that 5 mins. makes.......no boats in my front yard

for those of you who don't know..Myrtle Beach is about 45 mins from here.

^^^^^no need...hit him full blast....he likes it

brat

At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. "Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn't hear the question. "Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" the lawyer repeated loudly. The witness still did not respond. Finally, the judge leaned over and said, "Sir, please answer the question." "Oh," the startled witness said, "I thought he was talking to you."

http://www.maccosmetics.com/home.tmpl?ngextredir=1

try that..you may have to copy and paste addy

tis a place from which there was a mass exodus and many came ashore here,a happier land. And Thank you indeed for the Welcome




now it's 2 and there are many more

A Short Love Story
A man and a woman who had never met before, but were both married
to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room
on a Trans-continental train.
Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were
both very tired and fell asleep quickly.....He in the upper bunk and she in
the lower. At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying,
'Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the
closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold.'
'I have a better idea,' she repli ed 'Just for tonight, let 's pretend that
we're married.'
'Wow! That's a great idea!' he exclaimed.
'Good,' she replied. 'Get your own friggin blanket.'
After a moment of silence, he farted.
The End