I am no psychiatrist and all I can do is share with you my observations and experiences.
1.You say you are addicted to speed. Maybe you are one of those natural risk-takers; it's the way you're made. I wonder if you shouldn't find a more challenging job/life style, something others would kind of fear, but is necessary and productive(I wonder if that is a reason some people are suited to dangerous foreign missions).

2.being a jerk to people: people can be irritating, and you are out of patience. If you don't care about yourself, you won't care about others. You're just unhappy.

3.you say you aren't depressed. Actually, you are, and have reached the point of having felt as much as you can bear, and have shut down. Self-anesthesia, is how I think of it.(been there, done that)One of the indications is you "drink and smoke in moderation": to be able to sleep. That's just more addictions that are self-destruction, other forms of self anesthetising. Sleeplessness is a result of depression, too. You say you're content! I would say you are not content with most of your life.

4.not suicidal? YES....you don't care enough about your life or the life of others not to endanger it.

5.One of my kids was a cutter. The only way she could explain it is that it made her "feel". And it felt like she was letting something out of herself, when she felt she couldn't get rid of anything else. She eventually tried to slit her wrists...twice. Maybe your dangerous driving(on the most dangerous vehicle on the road to be speading on)is a form of cutting.

6.You don't want to seek professional help because you can't afford it, don't think it will accomplish anything, and don't like people telling you what to do. After all the drugs and therapy and institutions, my child(who IS bipolar)found that interruption helped with overwhelming temptations that are harmful.

7.Speeding can certainly totally shut out everything else. Like one responder said (what a fun, positive person!), at least find a track where you can race and not endanger others.

8.You can support yourself better if you don't have to pay traffic fines.

9.Make a list of things you need to change, then rewrite it, numbering by priorities. Then write down, under each item, steps to achieving these things. You have internet...research jobs that would fit you. Obviously, this will be on your list. I know this is long. It's just that you are so young and may have so much time and so many options to carving out a life you love. So much potential! And don't neglect the spiritual. Nothing in this life is perfect or constant, except that. All mankind is born with this need to fill. God bless you!

Welcome greer! Bless you for taking care of your parents. I used to work hospice, as well as took care of my mother. It can be draining, but I am so glad I did!

My hobby and profession is cooking. I'm told I make the best chicken fried steak and authentic cheesecake....but I personally don't eat beef, pork, or sugar.

Beside the fact that I hardly meet anyone, I won't date a non Christian. And I prefer the maturity of a man near my age but too many are couch potatoes. So....I just don't date. Small towns have their charms, but they are very limited in resources! Gonna take a miracle!

That was good. I agree.

I am glad I haven't gotten all I have prayed for! I have learned I can trust that the Lord know what's best, tho He enjoys hearing from me! "All GOOD things come down from the Father...".

There's great positives to being a woman: sensitive and able to read between the lines, but it's a two-edged sword. I hate to say it, but too often the men have it right...hormones. It's nature. Some women never outgrow letting their emotions rule them. I once worked on a ranch with a bunch of men. No gossip, no back-biting, no easily hurt feelings (and I was blessed that they were all gentlemen). Best bunch I have every worked with! On the other hand (sorry guys ), they were so transparent and clueless! Peace!

All you really know about them in such a short time is their looks! I believe in "lust" at first sight.

You look a little too....cute. I wouldn't recommend it. Asking for trouble.

"Don't worry, be happy"....I'm sure that's in the Bible somewhere. Maybe not King James, but still!

Tools of what/to whom?

The apostle Paul did say, "Faith without works is dead...". Sometimes I'm not sure what God wants me to do and what He wants me to wait on. That's another thing I have to pray about a lot. It's harder for me to wait than jump in. Course, sometimes I've gotten both "ankles broke" by doing that!

Sorry....did that wrong!
Yeah, none of us knows it all, none of us perfect. Hopefully, I'm understanding more, but the more I do, the more I realize how much I DON'T know! I think that's the point: I can never be good enough/know enough, by myself, to be worth a perfect God's time. Good thing I don't have to be! That's where Christ comes in. I agree with all you said, yashafox. All we can walk in is what we understand and have faith in right now. The Bible says that God judges the thoughts and intents of our hearts....He knows what we really mean and what we really intend to do.
Ah! "progressive". The churches that have become slick programs, and entertainment? God can use it all, but I don't know if I'd want a Christian Disneyland. But to each his own, and it's for God to judge. Long as Truth is preached and love is there!

I'm new here. I like it; it's like an oasis.

My Fairest One

If I was on a desert' isle
I know You'd come to me.
I know if I 's the only one
You'd go up on that tree.
How is it I've so easily
Forgot You're there for me?

The sky is there behind the clouds
That cover it with dark;
My God You're there and far more real
Than eyes from fleshly part
I see You there with spirit eyes
You've placed deep in my heart.

All earth, see how the Fairest One
Has come to take my hand!
Oh, what bride could e'er deny
This Bridegroom His demand?
I am besotted and care not
I'm foolish before man!

My first flowers here! lol...thank you.

What is a "progressive"? You know, so many people make praying out to be a wish list or list of demands. The Bible, which Christians are to filter everything thru, has a lot to say about praying. To me it's plain ole open communication with God, thru Christ. Not a program or a ritual. I like talking to God! I have had many prayers answered. Some really stupid ones, too, and He must have shook His head with a smile and said, "Oh, why not?" I remember one thing I really thought I needed, but didn't get. I was pretty let down. Then a couple years later, I thought, "Oh, no wonder! I'm so glad I didn't get that!" My earthly father didn't give me things that he knew weren't good for me when I was a kid, either. I think sometimes that's the way it is. The ones I don't understand about, I figure is for the best, and I'll understand here or in Eternity.

The law of kharma is from Hinduism. Are you Hindu, Jeanniebeanie, or just like that aspect of it?

That was a great summary, Morning Song. The things people do and then pin the blame on God for their own ignorance of the Word! No wonder Christianity has a black eye. So many people lump everyone who believes in God into one. Heck...even the devil believes in God!

Hi, I don't want to wade into a long discussion or arguement; I just wanted to share my thoughts. All I know is Jesus Christ Himself said that there is only ONE way to God, and Jesus is it. Some churches teach there's other things or people to go thru, too. The church that says there's only One way cannot unite with those that don't. There are many different denominations within the Christ-centered church. We can come together, but I'm not so sure there shouldn't be different kinds of churches. I'm nondenominational. When I am very happy, I dance a little around the house. I like a church where I can do that...long as there is not chaos or taking attention off the reason we are in church. The Bible teaches "decent and in order". Some people are very quiet and dancing just isn't a way they are comfortable worshipping. There are churches where they can feel comfortable. There are some Christian churches I'm just not comfortable in. Who is right or wrong is God's business. I know some denominations brake off others to go on a tangent, or out of anger, or they feel they do not have the same scriptural beliefs, or whatever. Still, it's God's business. He will straighten us all out here if we let Him; later, if we don't. According to prophecy, true Believers will be forced to unite, but they will be the minority. They cannot co-exist with those of a different belief. For me as a Christian, that the majority in churches will not worship God for Who He is, thru Jesus, is the saddest part. I see it now.
The people who got too big for their britches, building the tower of Babel....they found out that challenging God leads to failure. They had to give it up. No glory in being stupid.